


New Traditions

by pherryt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas, Christmas traditions, Coming Out, Confessions, Cuddling, Disowning, Easter, Easter Eggs, F/F, F/M, Fireworks, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forced coming out, Fourth of July, Friendsgiving, Good Neighbors, Halloween, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Skating, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Power Outage, Sparklers, Surprise Guests - Freeform, Ten Years Later, Thanksgiving, Trick or Treating, Weather, Wedding, alone at christmas, bed sharing, canceled plans, charity work, cheesy christmas decorations, good news, making new traditions, mix tape, near years, not the standard christmas tree, pnuemonia, proposal, valentines day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-22 12:11:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 49,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13166655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/pseuds/pherryt
Summary: Cas's Christmas season is fraught with ups and downs. He's not going home to visit his family - which is great for avoiding drama - but now that means he's going to be celebrating it alone - which isn't so great just in general. And to top it off, none of his roommates seem to be in the holiday spirit.But he's determined to enjoy the holiday, alone or not.Good thing he won't be as alone as he thinks.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Much thanks to braezenkitty for the beta ! Seriously, a big help!
> 
> This was written for the Hidden by the Trenchcoat Christmas challenge. Requirements (other than length) :
> 
>   * Must be Christmas themed.
>   * Must include Pine tree or ice rink.
>   * Must include holiday lights, a gift or cookies.
> 

> 
> I've got 4 out of 6 of those (and depending on how you interpret it, actually 5 out of 6 of those)
> 
> Cas's Christmas tree is inspired by a real life event. details changed for sake of story, of course, but I actually did this, with a roommates help after the other roommates poo-poo'd getting a tree. I was disappointed, to say the least. Mine didn't look as neat and cool as the way I imagine Cas's to look, but yeah. That one thing was the inspiration to this whole fic and it was supposed to be SHORT Christmas fluff. Than other things crept in. And angst too, and the whole thing got away from me. But I hope you like it.
> 
> oh also! This story has an alternating POV, so there's a breaker every time it changes. :D

  


First full year away from home and Cas didn’t expect anything to be all that different. After all, he’d been away from home all throughout college. Yeah, he’d gone home for the holidays but that was just a couple days out of the year. It shouldn’t have made a difference.

And yet it did.

He most definitely hadn’t expected the wave of homesickness that washed over him as the Christmas holidays approached and he made his plans to spend them alone.

In his new apartment with his new roommates.

Who would all be leaving to their own respective families.

It was still kind of like living in the dorms, and maybe that was why he’d been hit with it so  _ unexpectedly. _ All of his roommates were people he’d known in college, all settling down together to share expenses and make it easier to afford things once their loans came due. Cas really wasn’t looking forward to that. But then, who did?

Dean and Benny, Meg and Balthazar, and Castiel all in a three-bedroom apartment. Somehow, it worked. Meg and Balthazar shacked up together in the biggest room being an on again, off again thing. Castiel was afforded the second largest room which – honestly – was actually half the size, and Benny got the last one, leaving Dean to sleep on the couch.

Cas felt guilty about that one but Dean had insisted – with a strange little blush - that he didn’t need anything more, so long as he could use the walk-in closet for his things. He picked up a dresser at some second-hand store with Cas’s help, after carefully measuring the space he had to work with, and set it at the back of the closet. Dean was meticulous and kept it tidy. If the walk in had been slightly bigger, Cas was almost positive Dean would have tried to sleep in it too.

He  _ did  _ suggest Dean getting a second bed and joining Cas in his room, but Dean had declined.

“Nah, man, you need the room for all your sewing shit. It’s not just a bedroom, it’s also your workspace. That’s why you got that room to begin with. Don’t worry about it,” Dean insisted.

Cas almost suggested they just share the damn bed, then space wouldn’t even be a worry, but though they’d been roommates through most of college, he was sure that would have been crossing a line.

Damn crush.

Still, here he was, less than a month out from Christmas. He’d tried to go home for the Thanksgiving holidays now that he finally had his own car and didn’t have to rely on others for transportation, and that had been the  _ worst  _ decision he’d ever made.

Divorced parents did not a friendly holiday make.

They’d been divorced a long time and you’d  _ think  _ he’d have been prepared for the nastiness that ensued but no. He hadn’t even known they  _ could _ argue over Thanksgiving when they’d all agreed to a schedule and a plan beforehand. Really, he supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised. There’d always been bad blood between his parents, but they’d also always put it aside on their children’s behalf before. Cas had to admit, he’d expected that to continue, because wasn’t that what family did? Putting aside differences for the sake of those around them?

Obviously, he’d been wrong, and this kind of visceral back and forth had absolutely blindsided him.

Which meant that Cas had found himself reluctant to go home and deal with their shit over Christmas, now that they’d decided to hold  _ him _ responsible for  _ their _ fighting. What kind of sense did  _ that  _ even make?

Unfortunately, by the time he made this decision, everyone else had already made plans to leave the apartment for the holiday. At first, he’d thought that a wonderful thing to look forward to. He’d never been able to have the place to himself with so many roommates. And yet…Cas was slowly coming to the realization that he was actually dreading it. Not the being alone part, but the being alone  _ at Christmas _ part.

But he didn’t dare say anything. He didn’t want to ruin everyone else’s Christmas plans just because he was feeling slightly depressed.

Okay, maybe more than slightly depressed.

He stood in the doorway of the kitchen with his hot mug of coffee in his hands, watching as Dean and Benny played Mario Kart. Meg was sitting in the ratty, blue recliner Cas had found for a grand total of ten bucks, legs crossed underneath her as she scrolled through her phone, rolling her eyes at Dean and Benny’s antics. Balthazar stepped out of the bedroom in his pajamas with a yawn, lazily scratching at his stomach. It was nearly one in the afternoon. So fairly early for Balthazar.

Cas stepped out of the way to let Balthazar into the kitchen. He was either there for coffee or hair of the dog. Maybe even a little of both, knowing the man.

As he continued to stare at the scene around him, Cas realized what it was missing.

Holiday decorations.

They hadn’t used any in college. What was the point when everyone went home over the holidays? So Cas had never missed them. But maybe if they had some now, it would help get him into the holiday spirit so he wouldn’t feel so depressed about the upcoming alone time.

_ Actually, that’s not a bad idea _ , he thought.  _ Mom did give me all my specialty ornaments and even a couple of strings of lights when I officially moved out. We could get a tree _ . The idea took root and Cas grinned.

“Uh oh, Clarence. What devilish thought is going through your head, sweet cheeks?” Meg crooned from the recliner, phone dropped into her lap.

“I was just thinking…this place could use some holiday cheer. I’d love to put up a tree. I think we have the perfect space for it too, just over there,” Cas said, his grin getting wider.

It faltered as the other four groaned.

“I’m not killing some poor pine tree just for a couple of bloody holiday lights none of us are going to be home to enjoy,” Balthazar said, at the same time as Dean rolled his eyes, chiming in with,

“Dude, the holiday’s so fucking commercialized. We don’t need any of that shit.”

Cas looked over at Meg and she shrugged. “Sorry, I don’t even like Christmas.”

With a desperate look at Benny, Cas felt his heart drop. Benny didn’t clarify his thoughts with any words, just shook his head in a clear indication of no. He wasn’t in on this idea either.

“Fine,” Cas grumped, stalking off to his room with his now lukewarm coffee and shutting the door.

He wasn’t even sure why he was so upset about it. Dean was right. The holiday was commercialized so much Cas often forgot that it had religious origins, which many people were sick of having shoved down their throats. He could understand that, and he suspected that was Meg’s objection to the entire season, to tell the truth.

But to him, the holiday wasn’t about those things at all.

It was about family and warmth and togetherness. Laughter and good food. If they were lucky, maybe some snow too, to go walking in on Christmas Eve, looking at all the pretty lights people had put together, only to return to the house for steaming mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows.

There would be none of that this Christmas for him.

  


Dean stared after Cas blinking until Benny nudged him.

“We playin’ or what, brother?” Benny looked at him with an impatient eyebrow raised.

“Oh sure.” Dean shook his head and returned his attention to the game. Meg snorted and muttered something about  _ boys _ and Dean forgot about any sort of weirdness for the next couple of hours.

But the idea that something was off with Cas returned when he knocked on the still closed door with a takeout menu in hand. Cas hadn’t emerged from his room at all since his idea had been shot down. That was unusual unless he was working, and Dean hadn’t heard the sewing machine start up even once.

Was Cas mad at them?

He knocked again. “Cas? We’re ordering Chinese for dinner tonight. You interested?” There was shifting and rustling from behind the door, silence, and then the door opened and Dean was treated to a disheveled looking Cas blinking sleepily at him. Dean swallowed.

“What time is it? I think I fell asleep.” Cas’s voice was even more gravelly than usual and Dean swallowed again.

“Oh uh, it’s like, 6pm man. You gotta be hungry. Balthazar and Meg bailed. Hot dates or something, so it’s just you, me and Benny. C’mon and watch a movie with us.” Babbling. Dean was babbling. Shit. Why did he do that? Why did he have to have a crush on one of his best friends? Why couldn’t their friendship be more like his and Benny’s? Why’d Dean have to complicate things by falling in love with the blue-eyed beauty before him?

Why the hell was he waxing poetic about Cas? Fuck his life. After knowing him for over three years, you’d think Dean would have exhausted that urge.

Clearly, he hadn’t.

He cleared his throat and waved the menu at Cas. “Food? Movie?” He didn’t squeak. Dean Winchester did  _ not  _ squeak, crushes on scruffy looking best friends be damned.

Squinting at Dean, Cas nodded and reached for the menu. Dean backed up from the door and Cas followed him back out to the living room. There was a table backed up against one wall and he sat at one of the chairs, perusing the menu even though Dean suspected what Cas was most likely to order, though he did change it up on occasion.

Soon food had been ordered and  **Guardians of the Galaxy** had been queued up. Everything felt like it was back to normal. If normal included drooling over your best friend while your other best friend rolled his eyes at you and mouthed  _ just ask him out already, dumbass! _

Dean ignored Benny and spent the entire movie watching Cas watch the movie with that intensity that always felt like it was a little too much whenever it was centered on him. To be fair, if they were actually dating, Dean wouldn’t mind it in the slightest. In fact, he’d be sure to subject Cas to a great deal of intensive attention right back.

Not like he didn’t do that already. But at least he tried not to show it. Cas’s attention didn’t mean anything special anyway. He gave everything and everyone he considered and talked to the same 100 percent of his attention. It was kind of unnerving, and at the same time, depressing because Dean wished that that sort of focus was an only him type of thing. If it were, it might give him some sort of indication whether or not Cas would be receptive to Benny’s suggestion.

God, Dean wished he were.

The movie ended and inevitably the subject of the holidays came up. Dean’s stomach dropped. He hadn’t told  _ anyone  _ that he wasn’t going home for Christmas. What was the point of going? The Winchesters hadn’t had much of a Christmas celebration for  _ years _ —ever since his mom died—and with Sam off to Stanford, it would be just him and John at home.

And Dean could do with a lot less of judgmental John with no Sam as a buffer. Sam was really the only reason to go home, ever. So without Sam, there were no plans. But he didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for him, so Dean had kept his lips sealed.

“I can’t wait to be home. My ma makes the best gumbo –“

“Gumbo for Christmas?” Dean couldn’t help but tease. Benny hit him with a couch pillow.

“Shut up. So we’re nontraditional. We make our own holiday traditions, that’s what makes it special,” Benny pointed out around a mouthful of leftover chicken wings, reheated from earlier.

Cas had a strange look on his face and Dean nudged him. “What’s with the face?”

“I’m just trying to figure out what Benny’s objection was to adding some Christmas décor around here, since he doesn’t seem to be opposed to the holiday itself,” Cas explained.

“No, I’m not opposed, but I ain’t exactly gonna be around for it either. Not too sure my opinion counts when I’m leavin’ day after tomorrow. I ain’t the only one livin’ here and you were already outnumbered, cher. Didn’t see as it much mattered what I said at that point,” Benny pointed out reasonably.

Cas nodded and Dean blinked at Benny. “Wait, so you just went along with the rest of us?”

“What was the point?” Benny shrugged and bit into a drumstick.

Dean shrugged and nodded. He stood and clapped his hands together. “Okay, time for another movie?”

Shaking his head, Cas stood. “I think I’ll pass. I’m a bit tired.”

“Dude, you took a nap this afternoon! How can you be tired?” Dean swallowed his disappointment. He’d hoped to spend more time with Cas before he inevitably took off for his own family Christmas. Honestly, Dean didn’t understand why Cas even asked about decorating the place when as far as  _ he  _ knew, no one would even be home over the holidays themselves.

“It wasn’t particularly restful, to tell the truth. Naps and me never get along well,” Cas pointed out. “Night Dean. Night Benny.”

He left the living room and Dean sighed dejectedly.

“Just ask him out, brother,” Benny said. “I can’t take much more of this mooning crap.”

“I’m not mooning,” Dean protested.

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. I know what’s on  _ my  _ Christmas list for this year: for the two of you to get your shit together,” Benny snickered. “The both of you are so ridiculous, I don’t know how you can even pretend he’s not into you.”

“But he’s not, Benny. So, just drop it,” Dean groused. It was moments like these he actually wished he had his own room, so he could do what Cas had done. But if he wanted the conversation to end, he was either gonna have to be rude and shove Benny out of the living room, or take off and find someplace else to be. And frankly, neither option was very appetizing right now.

  


Cas looked about his room after he closed the door.

So what if nobody else was in the Christmas spirit? They might not want a tree but damned if Cas wasn’t going to do some decorating. He just wouldn’t do it out there. They couldn’t say anything if he decorated his  _ own  _ room.

So why not?

He stared at the room. Dean hadn’t been wrong when he said Cas’s room was too full. But he had no active projects he needed the space for over the holiday season. He could work with this for a couple of weeks.

First, he straightened things out, picking fabrics up and putting them away. He was glad he normally kept his room fairly clean to begin with, it was just cluttered. He sorted and stashed away anything he could. When he was done, he pulled the Christmas box out from under his bed and placed it on top, opening the lid.

He rifled through it, noting that his mother had even given him garland. One by one, he took things out and laid them on the bed to get a better idea of what he had. Two strands of multicolored lights. An entire box of brass ornaments. Some geeky ones from Dean. A couple of ornaments on the more ‘inappropriate’ side that he’d gotten from Meg and Balthazar and even his brother, Gabriel. He snorted in amusement and set those aside. Garland, all of it red. Five packages of silver tinsel – why had she even  _ had  _ those? They didn’t use tinsel…

There was even a ratty looking angel and a couple of vintage ornaments that had been passed down through the family over the years.

Cas stared at the room and down again.

He had no place to put any of the ornaments. Which meant garland and lights. He supposed he could drape those over the inside of his windows and the tops of his bookcases.

His eyes fell on his dress dummy.

Or…

Cas’s eyes crinkled as he grinned, the grin stretching wider and wider as he contemplated the idea more and more.

Now that might work.

Forty-five minutes later, Cas stood back with his hands on his hips, surveying his handiwork. He’d had some left over green velvet fabric from a commission. The lady had bought way too much of it and had told him he could have the rest of it as extra payment. Even though he had no idea what he’d use it for, he’d gladly accepted it.

Poor college graduates with loans coming due couldn’t pass up anything as generous as that. Cas was sure he’d find something to use it for and he’d been right.

Though he’d never imagined  _ this _ .

He grinned happily, probably far more amused by this then he should be, but he was. And it was the first time all day he’d been in a genuinely good mood so he refused to push it away (though he had to admit, spending some time with Dean had gotten him close. Until he remembered that just friends was  _ all  _ they were).

He’d artistically draped the green fabric all around the dress dummy, and pinned it into place. Folds of it layered and flowed around till about halfway to the floor. He’d even added the hoops underneath for when he was working on skirts to give it more structure and form so that when he added the lights, wound around and around the dummy, he didn’t have to stop halfway down the fabric (because that would just look downright odd!).

He’d added the garland and then carefully added some of the lighter ornaments, hanging them directly off the lights and garland rather than risking damage to the fabric.

The only problem was the top. There was no way to attach the ratty angel. Cas frowned at it, picking it up off the bed and turning it over in his hands. Nope. No good. He’d just have to make something lightweight and find a better way to attach it.

He put everything else away and pulled out his sketchbook and pencils, settling in on the bed and getting to work. Maybe he could finish a design by tonight. With any luck, he could have his angel done by tomorrow night.

  


Cas spent the entire next day holed up in his room.

Dean would have worried but halfway through the morning, he heard the sewing machine start up. So did Meg and Balthazar apparently, because the two of them stumbled out of the master bedroom. Meg looked like she could murder someone and didn’t seem to care that she was mostly undressed—a t-shirt and panties were her only concession to the fact that there were, in fact, other people in the apartment—while she banged around in the kitchen. Balthazar had followed along behind her, his eyes barely open, wearing Meg’s robe.

Dean chuckled and shook his head.

He swung his legs off the couch and started folding up his blankets, reaching for his shirt when he was done. He heard the click of Benny’s door opening. Looked like the gang was all awake.

“What’s everyone’s plans for today?” Dean asked, joining the rest in the kitchen. He opened a cabinet and pulled down a handful of mugs, handing all but two of them off. Meg leaned up against the counter with her arms across her chest, the coffee maker already percolating away.

“Meg and I are heading to the airport today,” Balthazar’s muffled voice came from the designated liquor cabinet.

“And uh, who’s driving?” Dean asked, pulling down another mug for Cas. “Meg looks half dead to the world.”

Meg grunted, eyes still closed.

“I’ll be driving, of course. Have  _ you _ ever been in the car with Meg driving?” Balthazar shuddered. “She’s an angry driver.”

“Yeah, I go everywhere in my Baby, and there’s no way I’d let Meg drive her, so I can’t say I’ve had the experience, but I’ve heard stories,” Dean snorted. “Do you think it’s wise to be drinking before you go?”

“A dash of single malt whiskey in my coffee isn’t enough to render me incapable of driving, I’ll have you know,” Balthazar sneered, closing the cupboard.

Dean rolled his eyes and pointed at the coffee machine. “Who’s going to beard Meg first for the coffee? It’s finished.”

“Don’t lay a finger on it,” Meg said blandly. She didn’t move.

Dean narrowed his eyes at her. “Oh, c’mon, Meg…”

“It’s gotta steep.”

“It ain’t tea, cher,” Benny said.

With an exasperated sigh, Balthazar stepped forward and grabbed the pot, quickly pouring coffee into all five of the mugs on the counter – starting with hers, of course. Grumbling, Dean snagged his and Cas’s mugs away to another part of the kitchen to finish prepping them. Then, both mugs in hand, Dean left his other roommates in the kitchen and walked down the short hall to Cas’s room.

Of course, he realized his mistake as soon as he arrived. The door was closed and he didn’t have a free hand.  _ Here’s hoping he hears me over the sewing machine, _ Dean thought.

“Yo, Cas. I got you coffee – let me in?”

The machine continued to whir and Dean sighed. Cas either hadn’t heard him, or wasn’t at a good stopping point. He stood there for another moment, shifting his weight from one side to the other. Benny approached him with his own mug cradled in his hands, having finally made his escape from the kitchen. He snorted inelegantly at the sight of Dean cooling his heels outside of Cas’s room, but to Dean’s relief, Benny took pity on him and reached over to give the door a firm rap.

The machine stopped and like yesterday there was a shuffle before Cas reached the door and opened it. Still in his pj’s, his hair all over the place, glasses perched precariously on his nose (and doing nothing to hide those gorgeous blues), Cas looked as hot as ever.

“Erm…coffee?” Dean choked out, holding up Cas’s favorite mug with the cartoon bee on it.

Cas looked down at Dean’s offering and a wide smile grew on his face, making butterflies dance in Dean’s stomach. “Thank you, Dean. That was very kind of you.” He reached out for the mug and leaned on the doorframe. He took a sip and closed his eyes, humming contentedly.

Dean watched him swallow and cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from Cas’s long neck. “So, what are your plans for today? Balthazar and Meg are leaving soon, so it’s just you, me and Benny again. We could watch another movie?”

“Maybe later. I’m working on a new project and I want to finish it before tonight.” Cas said.

“That’s pretty ambitious,” Dean said, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice.  Christmas was only five days away and while he didn’t want to go home to John, he wasn’t looking forward to being by himself either. He’d been hoping to spend as much time with Cas as he could, but how was he supposed to do that if Cas kept to his room the whole time?

Come to think of it, Dean had no idea when Cas was even leaving. How he could plan anything with no idea of the deadline?

Cas shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Can I see it?” Dean took a sip of his own coffee.  _ Say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes…. _

“I suppose.” Cas narrowed his eyes. “But no laughing.”

“Cas, I would never—!” Dean widened his eyes, affecting an overly innocent demeanor.

“Yes, you would. But I’ll let you in anyway.” Cas stepped out of the way and Dean quickly walked into his best friends’ room before Cas could change his mind.

He didn’t get far before he stopped dead in his place, his eyes widening now for a wholly different reason.

“Dude…what the fuck is that?” Dean couldn’t believe his eyes. In the corner of his room, between his bed and one of the bookcases, just in front of the window, was a mass of green fabric, twinkling lights, garland and fancy ornaments.

“I said don’t laugh, Dean,” Cas growled.

“I ain’t laughing!” Dean insisted, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight before him. “But I gotta ask, did you…decorate your sewing thingy?”

“It’s a dress form, and yes. I did.” Cas walked over to his desk. His laptop had been shoved aside in favor of his sewing machine, an old, but well cared for machine, and he sat down to sip his coffee. His brows were raised, daring Dean to say something, anything.

“You really wanted a Christmas tree, didn’t you?” Dean asked quietly.

Cas shrugged. “When you’re done judging me, you can take a seat. It’s not going to come alive and eat you, I promise.”

Dean laughed a little, but in all honesty, he felt like an ass. He’d shot Cas down without a second thought when he’d asked about decorating the apartment. Sure, Dean had his reasons. But it was obvious Cas felt strongly about this.

“I uh, think it’s pretty creative. A little weird, sure, but I like it.”

“Really?” The hopeful look on Cas’s face helped Dean’s stomach to unclench a little.

“Yeah, though I think it’s missing something.”

Cas nodded. “It is. I’m making a topper for it now. Here—“ he set his mug down on the desk, and leaned over, picking up his sketchbook and passing it to Dean. “This is the design. What do you think?”

“That’s pretty neat, Cas. How does it go on?”

“I’ll pin it to the dress dummy like I did the green velvet.”

Dean nodded. He flipped through the sketchbook – he always loved Cas’s sketches, and Cas usually didn’t mind – and a thought occurred to him. He frowned. “Hey Cas?”

“Hmmm…?”

“Why decorate at all when you’re going home for the holidays?”

Cas looked away and fidgeted in his seat and Dean stopped flipping pages, sitting up straight and narrowing his eyes. He stared at him, waiting him out until Cas finally sighed and relented. “I’m not.”

“What do you mean you’re not?”

“I mean I’m not. You don’t have to worry about it, all right? I just, I  _ chose  _ not to go after the fiasco Thanksgiving turned out to be. You don’t have to feel sorry for me.” Cas blew out a breath, still refusing to look Dean in the eye, no matter how many times Dean tried to catch his eyes.

“Huh. Guess I better go shopping,” Dean muttered.

Cas’s face shot up. “Dean, I told you –“

“Hold on a minute. Listen,” Dean interjected, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. “As a matter of fact, I’m not exactly going home either. There wasn’t any point with Sam away across the country. I didn’t want anyone feeling bad for  _ me _ , which is the only reason I didn’t say anything,” Dean explained. Cas blinked at him.

“Oh,” Cas said softly. There was a small smile twitching at the corners of his mouth and Dean tried not to lean forward to get a better view.

“Yeah, oh. But hey, after Benny’s gone, if you really want, we could decorate this place up proper?”

Cas perked up. “But you hate Christmas?”

“Nah, I mean, kinda? But it obviously means something to you, so I’m willing to help spread the cheer for the season. Just don’t expect me to sing any Christmas carols, capisce?”

“I understand, Dean.” Cas grinned.

“Okay then, good talk. I’m gonna go and let you finish your ‘tree topper’ and I’m gonna make some lists of things I think we should get. When you’re done we’ll hit the Christmas Tree Shop for some more cheap decorations.”

“Fake tree?” Cas perked up.

“Dude, you’ve already got us covered. We don’t need a pine tree – fake or otherwise -  when we’ve got this beauty.” Dean waved at the dress form and Cas grinned at him, obviously pleased by the compliment to his creativity. To be honest, Dean was glad it wasn’t a traditional tree. It was unique and so Cas that maybe he could pull this off without any bad memories surfacing.

Cas got his Christmas and Dean got to spend time with his best friend slash crush. Win win.

  


Cas had been pleasantly surprised by Dean’s visit to his room and when Dean left, Cas was feeling even more upbeat and invigorated than before.

He resolutely ignored the reason why that would be.

Finishing the new angel in record time, he set to designing something different; something special to give Dean as a gift. Once again, the sketchbook served as a sounding board for the ideas swirling in his brain, and it didn’t take long for one idea to overpower all the rest. It was so Dean it was perfect.

He came out briefly to wish Meg and Balthazar safe travels and a happy holiday, then retreated to his room to finish his project. It was almost done when Dean knocked on the door to once more announce dinnertime. This time it was simply macaroni and cheese with ground burger, but it hit the spot. He let Dean and Benny convince him to spend a couple of hours watching another movie and then returned to his room, bidding them both goodnight.

“Just in case I miss you in the morning, Benny, I hope you have a good trip. Merry Christmas,” Cas made sure to say before he took off again.

“You too, brother,” Benny acknowledged.  Cas paused as Benny and Dean turned to the tv together, intent on playing some video games, sitting close together on the couch. It always hurt to see how close Benny and Dean were. Not because he didn’t want Dean to have any friends, but because he was certain Dean and Benny would one day get together. It seemed obvious to him that it would happen.

A couple of times, he almost thought it had.

Everyone of those times had been dark for him. It was depressing as hell to see proof that Dean was far out of his reach and that led to guilt because he felt jealous and envious over what Dean and Benny had – or could have – together. He felt even guiltier every time he was relieved when he realized they  _ weren’t  _ together, because shouldn’t he want his best friends to be happy?

Shaking his head, he left them alone and shut himself in his room once more. The last bit left to do was just a small amount of hand sewing. He  _ could  _ have done it out in the living room, but since it was Dean’s present, that was – of course – out of the question.

Cas did indeed miss Benny getting up early enough that Cas never heard him leave the apartment. Maybe he’d stayed up way too late after finishing and wrapping Dean’s Christmas present. He’d dropped it under the ‘tree’ with a smile and then curled up on his bed with his laptop.

He yawned, shuffling into the kitchen where he found the coffee maker already brewing away and both his and Dean’s mugs set out before it. There was no sign of Dean, however, till he heard the flush.  _ Ah. _

Cas yawned again, eyeing the coffee machine blearily. Why was everything so fuz – oh right. He left his glasses on the nightstand and wasn’t wearing his contacts again. They’d been bothering him a lot lately.

“Stop that yawning, it’s contagious.” Dean’s chiding was broken by his own yawn, ruining the effect as he leaned back against the counter, his elbows brushing against Cas’s. The contact burned and it was a more effective wake up call for Cas then the coffee was likely to be. He just grunted in reply. “Dude, can you even see anything right now?”

“Meh,” Cas grumbled, waving his hand in a so so motion.

“God, you’re adorable when you just wake up,” Dean mumbled.

Cas froze and blinked _. Did I just hear that? Did Dean Winchester really call me adorable? Why would he…? _ Cas felt Dean’s body stiffen beside him, then the heat of Dean was gone as he launched himself away from the counter at the coffee machine.

“Ah, finally,” Dean said, with a bright and overly cheerful voice. Now Cas regretted not having his glasses. If only he could see Dean’s face…had that meant what Cas thought it meant?

Surely, he’d misheard?  _ I’m still half asleep, perhaps it was the remnants of a dream? _

Dean poured their coffee, and together they stood, shoulder to shoulder once more, sipping it in comfortable silence. When Cas finally drained his mug, he turned to the sink and washed it, asking, “So what are today’s plans again?”

“Oh right,” Dean chugged the last of his coffee down in a large gulp, letting go of the mug once Cas took it. “Well first, we gotta get the fixings for dinner –“

“Dean, there’s only two of us. We don’t need a huge dinner. A turkey for 2 people is just…overkill.” Cas finished washing Dean’s mug and set it beside his own in the rack to dry.

“Yeah, no, I get that. I wasn’t thinking traditionally anyway. I was thinking of what Benny said the other day.”

“Making our own traditions is what makes the holiday special?”

“Yeah, exactly. And, I mean,  _ dude _ \- you already started that, with your Christmas dummy. Let’s just keep it going,” Dean said excitedly.

“All right then, what do you suggest? I assume you have something in mind?”

“Right, well, we’ll need meals for the next few days, so I was thinking homemade burgers and fries tomorrow night, then that awesome potato soup you make for Christmas Eve and my meat lasagna for Christmas day. Maybe chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast on Sunday and bacon too – “ Dean paused to drool over imaginary bacon and Cas laughed, taking that opportunity to break in.

“God, Dean, are you trying to fatten us up?”

“Hey, we get to play our own Santa’s this year, so, if the shoe fits?” Dean laughed.

“All right, what else?” Cas asked around a chuckle.

“Why not more lights and garland to drape around the apartment? And let’s have a contest – whoever can find the cheesiest Christmas decoration for 20 bucks or less? Winner gets pride of placement anywhere in the apartment they want.”

“Done.”

Cas grinned to himself as he hurried back to his room to get dressed. It might not be traditional Christmas – caroling and pine trees, black and white Christmas classics, homemade sugar cookies, no turkey or big gatherings – but it looked to be a lot of fun.

Suddenly the prospect of staying home for Christmas instead of visiting his family didn’t seem so lonely or daunting, just by having Dean there. And as grinchy as Dean seemed to feel about Christmas itself, he was also more than willing to participate for Cas’s sake.

If he wasn’t already in love with his best friend, he was sure he’d have fallen in love for that alone.

  


It didn’t take long for either of them to get ready and Dean drove them both to the store. “I say we make two trips. One for the food since we know what we want. We can go in and be out pretty damn quick and we don’t want it sitting in the car,” he said, Led Zeppelin playing softly in the background.

“Sounds good. Then afterwards, we hit all the department stores and the Christmas Tree Shop? What about the mall?”

“Oh  _ hell no _ , not the mall. Or the bigger stores. Let’s do the Christmas Tree Shop because dude, I’ve been in there a few times and they always have something a little weird. But in addition to that, let’s hit the stores most other people don’t  _ think  _ to hit,” Dean suggested.

“Like what? I would think they’re all getting hit at this time of year,” Cas said, squinting his eyes at Dean. Dean smiled. “And the ones that wouldn’t be overly popular just because it’s this time of year aren’t likely to have any of the sort of things we’re looking for.”

“No, that’s true. But I was thinking we could walk up and down Main Street. Everyone’s going to the big shops, why not look at the little ones? Plus, we could always stop at the pub for a beer and some lunch if we wind up being out longer than we expected.” Dean looked at Cas out of the corner of his eye, trying to gauge his reaction. To his relief, not only did Cas seem thoughtful, he was also excited about it.

“Supporting small businesses during the holiday season – Dean, that’s brilliant!” Cas exclaimed warmly. Dean felt a blush come over him and his smile widen into a grin.

“Well, all right then, sounds like we’ve got a plan!”

The plan went off without a hitch. They got to the grocery store and back in record time, putting away all the food supplies before darting back out into the cold weather. Dean parked in the garage – he didn’t want Baby out on the street at all, not after the last time he saw someone try to parallel park in this town – and Cas fed the meter.

Hands tucked into pockets, they walked along the red bricks of the Main Street sidewalk, looking at all the decorations. Despite his usual reservations and bad memories of the holiday, Dean felt himself entranced. He blamed it on the aesthetics of it. He was an artist, after all, just not one who knew how to sew like Cas could.

The first few stores were a bust – they didn’t even go inside. They were going to pass the liquor store too when something made Cas stop and back up. He pushed the door open and Dean followed him in, bemused. “Think we need some liquor?”

“Maybe,” Cas evaded. Dean rolled his eyes and looked around. He hadn’t even known this place was here, to be honest. Maybe he’d have to come back. They even had supplies to make his own beer, if he was of a mind to try.

Before he knew it, Cas was back at his elbow and ushering him out the door. He held a small bag in his hand. “What’d you get?”

“Can’t tell you yet,” Cas grinned. “But I think I might win.”

“Oh, well now,” Dean turned to go back inside and see what he’d missed but Cas grabbed his arm and pulled him further down the street.

“No, you don’t! That’s cheating!”

“Not if I saw it too!” Dean protested.

“But you didn’t, so this one’s mine,” Cas’s eyes twinkled and Dean did what he always did when Cas was involved. He caved.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Let’s keep moving.”

They spent the rest of the day going from store to store. Sometimes emerging with purchases, but usually with nothing, more often than not. Dean even found himself thinking of getting something for Cas. Back in college, they’d never really done anything more than treat each other to food on occasion. But now they had jobs, and a little bit more cash to spend. He found himself really wanting to give Cas something special, though he was unsure what it would be.

_ Dammit! Why’d I wait till  _ **_now_ ** _ to make the realization that I want to get him something? Anything good’s bound to be already taken or out of my price range. _ Dean sighed. Whatever, he was having too much fun to let that stop him now. He’d just have to keep an eye out for something Cas would love.

They stopped around four at the pub after dropping off their purchases in the Impala. Fried pickles to share, fish and chips for Dean and Guinness beef stew for Cas, rounded out with a beer each in a great atmosphere. They had one of the private tables along the window with a view of the river. The sun was going down and it was spectacular. Dean could see it reflecting in Cas’s glasses.

Dean had to keep telling himself it wasn’t a date.

He still managed to take a selfie of both of them with the window as a backdrop, beers in hand, Cas smiling that gummy, eye crinkling smile that always made Dean melt.

They ended the day with their trip to the Christmas Tree shop which was, surprisingly, not as filled with Christmas Trees as one might have believed from the name. Dean got that it was a store open year ‘round, but it would have made sense to him if they’d had a lot more fake trees in stock. Not that he wanted a tree. He hadn’t been lying to Cas when he said the Christmas Dummy would work out just fine. So he was totally okay with this. Just…surprised.

The store was a bigger hit for the things they’d been looking for and they walked away with even more purchases from the Christmas Tree Shop than they had for all the others combined.

Returning home, they sorted the bags, Cas taking his to his room with a mock glare at Dean. “Don’t follow me!”

“Don’t come out for at least an hour!” Dean called after him.

He waited till the door snicked shut and then proceeded to dump his bags all over the floor. The regular decorations – more holiday lights and a shit-ton of garland in the most obnoxious colors they could find – he set aside on the kitchen table.

The rest though, he looked at the various things he’d picked up.  He’d found the creepiest bathroom set – the kind you decorated a toilet with. Fuzzy Santa everywhere. He snickered. He’d found some pretty raunchy things too. And the coolest, cheesiest thing he found in one of the oddball stores – a Santa and Reindeer sleigh – using empty beer cans, an empty case and lots of pipe cleaners and googly eyes. If that wasn’t cheesy, he didn’t know  _ what  _ was.

He arranged them all on the other end of the table proudly, away from the rest of the supplies then draped a towel over them.

Dean had even found something for Cas in that Sew and Vac store they found on a side road off Main Street. It wasn’t anything fancy but…while Cas was geeking out about one of the machines, Dean had found it and he couldn’t resist picking it up, along with a couple of other small items. It was oblong and just the right color blue. He hoped that adding a couple of thin lines of paint wouldn’t be detrimental to the function of the magnet. He shook his head. Hell, if it was a strong enough magnet, it shouldn’t be a problem. In fact, the paint might actually chip. That was okay, he could always fix it for Cas if necessary.

“Okay, Cas, I’m ready!” Dean called after he hid the gifts. He needed to wrap those, but he couldn’t take much longer or Cas would get suspicious.

Cas’s door opened and he poked his head out. “How are we doing this?”

“I got it all arranged and veiled man. I’ll close my eyes if you wanna do the same.” Dean waved at the table.

Cas nodded and reached in, Dean whirled and closed his eyes as promised. There was rustling as Cas took things out of their bags, a couple of thuds as the items hit the table and then another moment of silence or two as he disappeared and reappeared.

“You can open your eyes now,” Cas said.

Dean and Cas stood beside their respective cheesy decorations, ready to unveil their contributions to the game.

“1…2…3!” Dean counted off and whipped the towel away with a grin. Cas giggled and followed suit with the fabric he’d used.

They both took one good look at each other’s stash of cheesy gifts and snorted.

“Holy fuck! Which of us won?” Dean couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“I’m…not sure. It’s like we both got the opposite ends of cheesy. It’s like…comparing apples and oranges, they’re both still fruit but…” Cas said with awe.

“Those angel choir baby candle things are creepy as fuck, Cas,” Dean said, eyeing them suspiciously.

“I agree. I think I want to leave them on Meg’s night table.”

“You are evil. What are these?”

“Striped Elf socks – for table legs.” Cas managed to say with a straight face.

“That’s pretty goddamn cheesy all right.” Dean snickered. Cas’s lips twitched.

“I can’t believe you found decorations such as these in a chain store,” Cas said, picking up the raunchy ornaments. One was of two reindeers fucking while the other was a nude Mr. and Mrs. Claus having sex.

“Neither can I. Dude…what  _ is  _ this?” Dean picked up the Santa on a tall pedestal.

“It’s a um…liquor dispenser.” Cas noted.

“Okay but how – oh…oh my god! Oh, that’s priceless! Tell me you’ll give this to Balthazar?”

“Oh yes, nothing screams class like Santa peeing in your glass,” Cas said wryly. “I’m totally giving this to Balthazar.”

“Dude, then he has to have these to go with!” Dean picked up the Santa and snowman wine bottle cozies he’d found.

Cas grinned. “We could take a portion of our counter and set it up, kinda like a nativity scene. Only without the baby Jesus.”

“Or Mary or Joseph. Guess we got the three wise men, though.” Dean snickered. “Oh god, I can’t wait to see his face.”

They didn’t settle on a winner, but Dean felt like one anyway. They set up each of the cheesy decorations in what seemed the most appropriate spots in the house - the Rein-Beer thing went in Benny’s room on top of his dresser, while the raunchy ornaments acted like bookends on the livingroom DVD shelf.

With chortles of glee, they helped each other with the bathroom dressings, putting the fuzzy Santa face in the private bathroom that only Meg and Balthazar used, and the more tasteful one in the bathroom the rest of them and their guests would use.

Afterwards, they turned to the living room and the garland and strands of lights they had. Dean ripped open a box and headed for the windows but Cas laid a hand on his arm and he paused. He looked back at Cas, finding a thoughtful look on his best friends’ face.

“Wait a second, Dean. If we have enough lights…what if we spelled something out instead of just draping them? Or make a picture or something. Just…something different. You said you weren’t a fan of Christmas, so maybe we can make it non-Christmassy.”

“But you are, Cas,” Dean protested.

“Having the lights and a good friend around is good enough for me.” Cas smiled.

God, could he be any more perfect?

  


Cas could not believe the day they’d had. It was something beautiful. Being around Dean always was an adventure, always fun. And the things he did to show he cared were almost overwhelming.

It made Cas want to risk everything.

Because maybe…maybe Dean cared more than he let on? What if he were just as afraid that Cas didn’t return his feelings as Cas was? How else could Cas find out unless he gathered his courage and gave it a shot?

They wound up not putting the rest of the decorations up that night. They were pleasantly exhausted from their trip out, and now Cas had given them both some food for thought. They ordered out dinner and settled in before the tv, each of them with sketchbooks in hand.

Distractedly, they discussed and designed and tossed ideas left and right for how they wanted to arrange their lights and garland. They had these huge windows that begged to be used, and an almost completely blank wall (mostly because nobody had been able to agree on the décor) that had always greatly disturbed Cas with its nakedness.

They didn’t settle on anything that night, but Cas went to bed happy.

The next morning, he awoke to the smell of bacon. And coffee. But most importantly, bacon. Not even bothering to pull on a shirt or his sweatpants, Cas wandered out in just his boxers. Their apartment was so high up, they didn’t even turn the heat on during the winter. It was already a very comfortable temperature and sometimes, they even had to open a window when it became too much.

Of course, on the flip side, the AC would probably kill them come summer but they weren’t there yet, so Cas refused to worry about it. There was nothing wrong with the world that a little bacon couldn’t cure. Well, okay, maybe not, but whenever he smelled bacon, it sure felt that way to him.

The fact that it was Dean making him bacon made it even better. Sadly, Dean  _ did  _ put on a shirt, but Cas understood. Grease spatters weren’t fun for anybody.

“Mornin’ sunshine!” Dean greeted him cheerfully.

Cas groaned and dropped his head between Dean’s shoulder blades. He may be up, but he wasn’t quite coherent yet, he knew.

Dean stiffened under him and Cas panicked, but before he could draw away, Dean’s body relaxed and he continued in a softer voice, a chuckle very evident. “I made coffee too, Mr. Comatose.”

“Thank God,” Cas muttered, though he didn’t move away from Dean’s warmth right away. These stolen moments…he breathed in and smelled Dean then forced himself away. Whatever he hoped for, that was a little creepy. Might be cute for couples, but they weren’t one. Not yet. Cas had to stomp down on the butterflies trying to fly out of his throat. Maybe never. He didn’t know how this would go, but he knew how he was going to broach the subject.

Maybe. If he could get up the courage for it.

After a leisurely breakfast of just bacon, toast and coffee - while the tv played some anime in the background – they took their sketchbooks back out and looked them over with fresh minds.

“Since it’s just us, and we’ll probably take everything down before the rest of them come home…what about just things that we like, or quotes or something?”

“Nothing too complicated though, Dean, but I like that idea. Did you have anything in mind?”

“Well, I’ve always wanted to see my Baby plastered on a wall,” Dean grinned. “We could put Pages’s symbol from the Led Zeppelin IV album in one window and maybe a peace symbol in the other?”

“I like that, and a feather or wings maybe, to join Baby on the wall,” Cas agreed. “It won’t be easy. I’m going to get a dry erase marker.”

“Why?”

“So I can figure out the best way to put the lights on in the window without leaving permanent markings.”

“Good point.”

The endeavor took all day, the tv switched over to a  **Die Hard** marathon running in the background which led to frequent breaks by Dean to watch and quote his favorite parts. Cas found himself stopping too. He’d never seen them before and Dean was horrified to learn this.

“Dude! You should be paying way more attention to this then you are! I’ve seen ‘em a million times, but you gotta experience it in all its full glory to appreciate it the way it’s meant!” Dean exclaimed.

“I assure you, I can multitask quite well,” Cas said with a smile.

Despite the interruptions and the distractions, the cursing and the fumbling, the rest of the lights and garland were up only a few hours later. Dean only took a small breather before heading into the kitchen to start working on the burgers and fries he had promised. Cas’s mouth watered at the thought of those burgers. He wandered in after to offer his help but Dean shooed him out.

“Can’t have you watching me and figuring out the secret ingredients, Cas!” Dean joked.

“I promise not to tell,” Cas insisted.

“Nuh uh, gorgeous, you ain’t getting me with those puppy dog eyes  _ this  _ time!”

“Of course not, Dean,” Cas chuckled, though his mouth was dry. Dean had called him gorgeous. This time, Cas was s _ ure _ it wasn’t his imagination. All day, Dean had been letting slip all sorts of endearments Cas was certain he had never heard Dean calling anyone else – except the few times back in their early days as roommates when he dated. It was a sign, right? He stood wavering in the door frame of the kitchen before he finally left Dean to his own devices.

Instead, he spent the time waiting for Dean to finish dinner by calling his parents. He chose his father first. He was easier to talk to, most of the time, as Chuck was fairly laid back – a little too laid back his mother would say. But then Naomi could find faults in God.

The conversation went well. They discussed Chuck’s next book. His father was actually fairly excited for this one and it had Cas smiling and not even realizing how much time had passed till Dean poked his head in to tell him dinner was ready.

“I’m sorry, Dad, I gotta run,” Cas said, holding up a finger to Dean, who nodded and disappeared. As much as Cas enjoyed talking to his father, he was just as glad Dean had come in to interrupt them. Otherwise, his father could talk his ear off. Then again, Cas supposed that was the danger of knowing a professional storyteller. He smiled and shook his head, joining Dean for dinner.

As usual, they skipped the table and sat together on the couch to eat, tv on. If Cas and Dean’s shoulders elbows and knees seemed to rub together more often than usual, Cas chose not to point it out.

After dinner, Cas had to reluctantly bow out of spending more time with Dean. “I should call my mother,” Cas sighed. He wasn’t looking forward to it. “She’ll be too ‘busy’ on Christmas eve and Christmas day to make or take any calls, and if we don’t talk, she’ll try to lay a guilt trip on me.”

Dean grimaced sympathetically. “Yeah okay, man, you go do that.”

“Thanks Dean. Hopefully, it won’t take too long and I can come back out for another movie, but don’t wait up for me, okay?”

Dean nodded and gave him an encouraging thumbs up before Cas returned to his room. With dread in his gut, he picked up his phone. He loved his mom, but…he couldn’t think of a good way to end that sentence.

  


Dean had actually fallen asleep during one of the Avenger movies. God, why was he so fucking exhausted? They’d been a lot more active yesterday then they had today. Well, at least he’d managed to make the alterations to Cas’s gift  _ and  _ had time for it to dry (though he did hurry it along with a gentle wind from the mini fan). When he was certain it was dry, he even gift wrapped it – by tossing it into a silver blue Christmas bag and covering it with more silver and blue tissue paper.

Okay, so Dean might have become obsessed with the color blue. And silver and blue just looked gorgeous together.

He groaned and stood, checking the clock. How the hell? It was 2 am! Just friggin’ great. He’d slept for almost seven hours. How the hell was he going to get back to sleep tonight? Stretching, he went down the hall to the bathroom to use it and splash water on his face. The glow under Cas’s door when he came out caught his attention. Dean frowned.

Cas rarely stayed up late without a reason. And Dean couldn’t think of any reason Cas would be doing so.

He knocked gently on the door, in case Cas had simply fallen asleep with the lights on.

There was a rustle, then nothing. Dean’s frown grew deeper. Something fell, and there was a curse, and finally, Dean was too concerned not to knock louder. So he did, calling out, “Cas, man, is everything all right?”

When the door finally opened, Cas looked like hell and Dean’s mouth snapped shut before opening right back up and spitting out, “Shit, are you okay?”

Cas nodded, but partway through the first nod, it changed to the negative. His eyes were bloodshot but Dean couldn’t imagine what could have happened in the time he’d taken a nap - a really  _ long  _ nap – to account for Cas’s appearance. A hand reached up and dragged back through already messy hair – something that was normally so natural and hot that it would have taken Dean’s breath away, but Cas’s hand was shaking.

“Okay, that’s it, talk to me, Cas.” Dean laid a hand on his best friends’ shoulder, staring at him worriedly, hoping the man would open up and that he could help.

“It’s…I told you I was going to call my mother?” Cas asked, his voice was rougher than usual, and somewhat shaky to boot.

“Dude, that was hours ago…” Dean answered.

Cas nodded. “It started out well enough. The usual lectures about my useless degree. The disappointment over my choosing not to come home. The belief that by not choosing between my parents meant I was siding against her, that it was a deliberate slight…”

“God, she’s manipulative…” Dean breathed out, then winced. That was Cas’s mom he was talking about. Manipulative bitch or not, it was standard fair, as Cas had said, and the man had stood up for his mother before. Dean had crossed a line he’d tried not to cross – and yet Cas wasn’t defending her as he usually would, Dean suddenly realized. “What’d she do, Cas?” he asked quietly. Something tight had hold of his heart.

Cas shrugged and his arms crossed over his chest protectively, nearly hugging himself and the grip on Dean’s heart got even more painfully tight.

“She uh…she’s never been the easiest person to love, Dean, but she  _ was  _ my mother and I know she cared, in her own way.” Cas’s breath got choppy. “Just as we were wrapping up our phone call she um, she asked me about some rumors she’d heard. About me. About…from college.”

Dean’s brow knitted in confusion. “Fuck, Cas, you were a model student in college. There’s nothing you could possibly have done to make her upset. Four point oh GPA – and how you did that, I’ll never know – almost never missed a class. Never got in trouble. You never did the stupid shit  _ I  _ did, that’s for sure. I don’t see…”

He trailed off as Cas turned away from Dean and moved back into his room, coming to sit at the edge of his bed, hunching into himself a little more, a sight Dean had never seen before and instantly decided he never wanted to see again.

Seeing Cas hurting, whatever the cause, was sure to destroy him.

Dean followed him in, hesitantly, waiting for Cas to tell him to leave. When Cas didn’t do that, Dean carefully sat beside him, trying to give him comfort from proximity, but otherwise being as patient as Dean knew how to be.

“There was one thing she didn’t know, Dean…” Cas whispered. “One thing I hadn’t yet come up with the courage to tell her. But when she asked me, I couldn’t lie, and that’s when…that’s when…” Cas’s eyes squeezed shut and he took a shuddering breath.

Dean didn’t hold back anymore, pulling Cas into his chest and wrapping his arms around him.

“Whatever it is, I got ya, Cas. I’m here, okay? You’re not alone…” Dean soothed.

Cas let out a painful sob and turned into Dean, clutching at him. With a sniff, he croaked out, “I am…she’s cut me out…I’m not welcome home anymore, Dean. My own mother…” it was clear he couldn’t hold back anymore, his fingers tightening over Dean’s shirt, the single sob turning into more.

Dean sat stunned, unsure what to say. No matter the problems he had with his own father, John had never cut ties with him or Sam. He just wasn’t…there. But he was still family. Why the hell would Naomi disown someone as good and caring as Cas? Dean’s heart broke for Cas as he rocked him, held him close.

The fact that Cas was finally in his arms was lost on Dean. This was never what he had wanted, not like this.

Eventually, the sobs ceased. Eventually, Cas turned lax in Dean’s arms. He didn’t say anything and Dean was afraid to break the silence.

It wasn’t until a rumble reverberated through Dean’s body, accompanied by a sound that Dean realized Cas had fallen asleep. He nearly chuckled, but didn’t want to disturb him. It was obvious that he’d exhausted himself and really needed the sleep. Hell, Dean could just imagine the kind of emotional turmoil going through his best friend right now.

The question was, what to do now?

The two of them sat at the edge of the bed, Cas’s full body weight on Dean as he lay sleeping in what had to be the most uncomfortable position ever. But if Dean moved to make Cas more comfortable, it might wake him, and that was the last thing that Dean wanted to do.

He looked about the room, lit only by the lights of that ridiculously awesome Christmas ‘tree’ and tried to figure out his options. The bedcovers were already rumpled, as if Cas had tried – and failed – at sleeping. But it was warm enough that Dean didn’t think he actually needed to get Cas under the blankets. Which was good, because that much movement was sure to jostle him enough to wake him.

Finally, with some careful maneuvering, Dean leaned back into the bed, bringing Cas with him, reaching a hand out behind himself to keep them steady and moving slowly. His arm was shaking with that careful effort and both their body weights by the time he succeeded. Cas just mumbled and nuzzled into Dean’s shoulder. Dean lay there for a few moments, letting his heart calm down and his breathing to slow before risking anything further. It took several attempts to get Cas’s feet up on the bed and to turn them enough to be laying on the bed proper, even if they were further down the bed than was normal.

And even if Dean was hanging  _ off  _ the side of the bed after all that effort. But that was okay, because now he could untangle himself from Cas’s arms and more easily slip away –

Only he couldn’t.

This time, every movement Dean made brought a sleepy grumble and a tightening of grip. And Cas was strong. The force required to get him to let go would defeat the whole purpose of what Dean had just tried to do.

So with a gulp, he resigned himself to laying on Cas’s bed…with Cas in his arms…with Cas cuddling him.

How the hell was he supposed to fall asleep like this?

  


Cas woke slowly.

His eyes felt gritty, his throat raw, but otherwise, he was completely comfortable and warm. Unwilling to face the day, he snuggled into the warmth and felt it shift under him. He froze and blinked his eyes open.

He saw a band shirt under his cheek, that rose and fall to a breathing rhythm not his own. Slowly, he inclined his head to look up without lifting, only to find what he suspected – Dean, asleep and peaceful looking.

Cas nearly scrambled away in horror.

Had he been sleeping on Dean all night? Why was Dean  _ there _ ? Trying to calm his erratically beating heart, and push down the part of him that whispered how much he’d loved it – how much he’d just known that sleeping with Dean was the best thing ever – Cas slowly eased himself up into a sitting position.

Or tried.

Dean’s arms and legs were wrapped around Cas and tangled together, and he groaned as Cas tried to extricate himself. His brow furrowed until Cas stopped and then he relaxed again when Cas made no further movement to leave.

What did this mean?

The thoughts Cas had had yesterday returned. As well as his resolve to just  _ do  _ something. To find out one way or another if he and Dean could be more.

Cause either they could, and Cas would die the happiest man on the planet, or they couldn’t and Cas could finally get out of this limbo of maybe yes, maybe no and move on. or at least, make the attempt to move on. Cas was so gone on Dean, he wasn’t sure it was possible. But one way or the other, he’d know where he stood, and that had to be better than guessing.

Still, it was hardly the thing to broach first thing in the morning.

On an empty stomach and uncaffeinated.

And he  _ really  _ had to pee.

Gulping, Cas shook Dean’s shoulder. Dean jerked upright with wide eyes and Cas stumbled back on the bed in surprise. “Uh…” was all he managed before Dean scrambled out of the bed with a bright red face.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…uh…yeah, I’m just gonna…” Dean jerked a thumb over his shoulder as he backed away, leaving Cas gaping. It all happened too fast for him to process without coffee, but he was fairly sure Dean was upset.

Why was Dean upset?

Unless Cas had been wrong to hope?

With a sinking feeling, he got up. The bathroom door was already closed so he debated his need to go versus the idea of facing the horrible Christmas decorations he and Dean had placed in Meg and Balthazar’s bathroom. The urge in him grew and he decided to screw it. He didn’t have his glasses or contacts on anyway, and made for the bathroom in a rush.

A few minutes later, he found Dean in the kitchen, a little less red then before and making bacon, the coffee machine just finishing up. He went over and poured it into their mugs.

“Oh, perfect. Can you save some of the slices and bacon grease for the potato soup later?”

“Yeah, sure, that’s why I bought 4 whole packs, remember?” Dean said without looking back at Cas.

“I just thought you really loved bacon,” Cas joked, sipping his coffee.

“Well, yeah, that too,” Dean chuckled. Whatever tension had been there only five minutes ago seemed to be gone and Cas relaxed. He’d relaxed a little too soon, though, since after a moment’s silence, he heard Dean speaking again, much softer now, as if afraid that speaking would spook Cas. “Hey um, how are…how are you feeling this morning?”

Cas grimaced and looked past his mug and down at his bare toes. He made an effort to shrug and cleared his throat, willing himself to speak despite not knowing what to say. His mouth came up with something on its own then, in a semblance of some sort of normalcy Cas wasn’t even feeling. “Mmm…I’ll live. Thanks for being there, Dean. It meant a lot.”

“Yeah, Cas, anytime. You know that, right?” Dean’s voice was sincere and Cas looked up, getting caught in his green eyes. He smiled at Dean then, something tentative that just barely lifted the edges of his mouth, but it appeared to be enough, Dean’s concerned filled eyes changing to relief and warmth and –

“I think the bacons burning,” Cas choked out, ripping away from his best friends’ eyes. He put his mug down and used the excuse of cleaning his glasses off as the reason why he’d broken their gazes. It worked, because Dean cursed and turned hurriedly back to the bacon and Cas could sense no suspicion on him.

The rest of the morning passed like that. A strange combination of their usual easy camaraderie and closeness mixed with a sort of nervous energy, the feeling that  _ something _ momentous was going to happen any second now. And every minute that it didn’t, the feeling grew more immense.

It was going to drive Cas crazy.

If nothing else, it was helping him put his conversation with his mother further out of his mind as he tried to figure out what was going on here, now, with him and Dean.

When was the right moment to say something to Dean? When should he take the risk he kept talking himself in and out of? Should he wait till after Christmas, at least, so that he didn’t ruin the holiday for Dean? Only, Dean didn’t actually enjoy the holiday, so would it really be ruining it for Dean? In fact, if Dean reacted positively, Cas could give him something  _ good  _ to remember Christmas by. Right?

Unlike Dean, Cas had no qualms in accepting help in the kitchen. Potato soup didn’t actually take that long to make, even with the changes he’d made to the recipe he’d found online, but it felt good to work together with Dean, as it always did.

“So, after dinner, I was thinking…” Dean said as he scooped the last of the chopped potatoes up and into the pot, “I’ve uh, never been ice skating and there’s that rink on the other side of town. Have you ever been?”

Cas perked up with a hum and a smile. “I haven’t been ice skating in  _ ages _ ! Are you saying you’d like to go?”

Dean shrugged. “Thought it wouldn’t hurt to try it, see what the fuss is all about.”

“You’ll love it, Dean. Sometimes, it feels just like flying…” Cas felt some of his tension ease.

“That’s not really a selling point,” Dean joked. “I hate flying.”

“It’s all right – it’s the safe kind. Your feet never  _ really  _ leave the ground and I’ll be there to catch you if you fall.”

“Promise?”

“Of course,” Cas assured. He was pleasantly surprised by the suggestion and really looking forward to it now that Dean had brought it up.  He’d completely forgotten there was a rink on the south end, but he supposed he could be forgiven that as they’d all only been living in town for a few months – some of them longer. It’d taken Cas a few extra months after graduation to get out here, since he’d had family responsibilities to take care of.

Now he didn’t have any to worry about. Not if he wasn’t welcome anymore.

His mood attempted to plummet, but having Dean beside him, bumping into him, laughing and joking helped keep his spirits up. The idea of ice skating gave him something to focus on and he managed to make it through the next few tortuously slow hours in a halfway decent mood.

A few times Dean seemed to start to say something, but stopped himself. It was probably another inquiry to how Cas was feeling and he made an even bigger effort to act like everything was normal and nothing was wrong in the slightest. 

It didn’t matter if it was a lie or not. Being with Dean helped and Cas would take what he could get.

  


Dean was cursing himself as he slipped on the ice.

Why had he thought this was a good idea? He looked over at Cas who was gliding effortlessly over the ice, his eyes closed and his face covered in calm serenity, and smiled. Oh yeah, that was why.

With a grumble and a great deal of trouble – and two hands on the wall by the entrance to the rink (he really hadn’t gotten far at all) - he got up off his ass in time to see Cas reaching for him.

“Why didn’t you wait for me?” Cas chided. His cheeks were red and his already mesmerizing blue eyes were sparkling.

Dean shrugged. “I figured it couldn’t be that hard just to step onto the ice…my mistake was letting go of the wall.”

“Come on, I’ll help,” Cas reached for him again, sliding his hand down Dean’s arm till he tucked Dean’s hand into his, tugging lightly.

“Nah, it’s okay. You go skate and have fun. I’ll uh…catch up,” Dean blushed. He knew he’d do no such thing. Cas looked like an expert to Dean, while Dean, well…it was obvious he’d never been on skates – ice or otherwise – before today.

“Dean,” Cas’s voice dropped and Dean shuddered, hoping he could blame it on the chill of the rink. “I promised I wouldn’t let you fall. Come on.”

With a gulp, Dean let Cas draw him away from the wall, Cas going from holding one of Dean’s hands to both of them, as he skated backwards and guided Dean. Within a few moments, Dean had managed to gain enough balance and confidence to at least stay on his feet, even if his movements were still somewhat shaky.

Cas smiled. “I told you you could do it.” He slid around Dean till they were skating side by side, dropping Dean’s right hand but still holding on to his left.

Dean took comfort in the contact. And tried not to think of how others would see it. Two men, skating while holding hands? He swallowed.  _ Not a date. Not a date. Not a date,  _ Dean chanted internally, trying his best to convince himself of this, but his heart was pounding a mile a minute and he knew there was no way he’d be letting go of Cas’s hand any time soon.

Dean still couldn’t believe how empty the place was on Christmas Eve. He’d figured that ice skating was one of those absolutely perfect, seasonal things that people loved to do. Yet there were less than two handfuls of people out on the ice.

That was good for him, because it gave him less opportunities to crash and burn trying to avoid people. And was also why Cas had felt so comfortable just skating with his eyes shut when his feet first touched the ice. And man, that had been a sight to see. It was obvious that Cas truly enjoyed this and he wondered why his friend didn’t go more often.

Completely losing track of time, the two of them continued to skate around the rink, Dean occasionally growing bold enough to go a little faster or try something a little different with both Cas’s urging and help. A couple of times Dean even insisted Cas let go so that he ostensibly could have some practice – but in reality, it was just to watch Cas.

There was a buzz over the intercom and the Christmas music stopped playing and Dean and Cas paused to look around. They were the only two left on the rink. The few people left were already off the ice and changing out of their ice skates for snow boots and reluctantly, Dean and Cas turned to follow suit.

Dean’s heart was light as he shoved his feet into his shoes – no snow boots for him, though he was considering investing in some – and waited for Cas to do the same. He stood, looked up and blinked, noticing – for the first time – the mistletoe hanging above them.

His breath caught in his throat as Dean looked back down at Cas.

He could do this.

Cas stood and picked up his skates, walking toward Dean. He didn’t have to go far and Dean swallowed, took a breath, then reached out and tugged Cas into him.

It was Cas’s turn to blink, this time up at Dean, apparently oblivious to the mistletoe. Dean opened his mouth to explain himself but nothing came out. Screwing up his courage, he leaned down and kissed Cas, his eyes slipping shut when – after the first few seconds of Cas just being stunned – Cas’s lips moved under his own. Something thudded to the ground as two hands slid up Dean’s arms, gripping his shoulders and pulling him in closer.

Dean had no words for the kiss they shared. It was slow, almost chaste, yet so full of oomph that Dean felt like he’d been hit by lightning.

He could swear he was seeing sparks behind his eyes.

When Dean finally pulled back, Cas looked at him in surprise and hope. Both of them were breathless and neither spoke for a moment.

Cas broke the silence. “What was…why did…”

Dean almost snorted at how broken the sentences were. He wasn’t sure he wouldn’t be just as incomprehensible, so he simply pointed up.

And then watched Cas follow his finger, catch sight of the mistletoe and – Dean realized with dawning horror - his face dropped.

“Oh.” The word was spoken so quietly, Dean would never have heard it if the music had still been playing. If there had been any other people left in the rink. It was so dejected and hopeless that Dean rushed forward before Cas could turn away from him.

“No! Cas! Shit – the mistletoe was just an excuse. Just…just some little bit of extra courage for something I’ve been wanting to do since, shit, I don’t even know when, but it’s been a damn long time.” Dean shoved the words out fast and hard, not daring to slow down, not daring to lose momentum because then maybe he’d never say the words he needed to say.

Cas’s gaze returned to Dean’s face, his blue eyes wide and wet and  _ fuck _ , Dean hadn’t meant to make him cry.

“I’m sorry. If you didn’t want…this was a bad time, I guess. I should have…I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” Dean stuttered out the words and stepped backwards, bumping into the chair he’d left out. He stumbled, tripped and would have gone sprawling if Cas hadn’t caught him.

“Do you really mean it, Dean?” Cas’s already gravelly voice was even rougher than usual when he pulled Dean back to his feet.

Dean nodded, not looking Cas in the eyes. His fingers twisted around each other and he tore them apart and shoved them in his pocket, then remembered his skates. He had to return those. He bent over to grab them but was halted by Cas’s hands, which hadn’t left his shoulders and were now gently moving up to cup Dean’s face.

Next thing Dean knew, their lips were locked together once more and he groaned. Cas’s tongue slipping between and encouraging Dean into open mouthed kisses.

It didn’t take much encouragement.

They were so lost in each other that it wasn’t until the lights started flashing that they pulled away.

“I think they want us to leave,” Cas whispered.

“Yeah, probably,” Dean breathed. His lips tingled and he ran his tongue over them. Cas’s eyes darkened but he turned and picked up his and Dean’s skates and started walking, glancing back over his shoulder with a tilt of his head. Dean hurried after him.

  


They were back at the apartment in record time and Cas was never more glad that he and Dean were there alone. It would give them the space to talk, to figure out what was going on without the peanut gallery chiming in.

And if the kiss was any indication, if Dean’s panic to assure Cas that he  _ meant  _ the kiss – that he’d  _ wanted  _ it, in fact – was any clue, then they had a lot to talk about without well meaning but intrusive as fuck roommates.

They’d have the chance to become comfortable with each other in a way that was wholly new to them.

Somehow, though, Cas didn’t feel like that would be all that hard. He was more comfortable with Dean already than he’d ever been with anyone else that he could remember. All the previous tension between them had been the uncertainty of the depth of the others feelings.

That had been proven to be a needless worry.

Dean obviously felt something for Cas and Cas sure as hell knew where he stood and he was beyond thrilled to find that he wasn’t standing there alone.

Dean Winchester had joined him at the top of his cliff, and suddenly it didn’t feel like he was standing besides a yawning chasm that was threatening to swallow him whole anymore. Suddenly, he didn’t feel as if the cliff was just big enough for Castiel to balance atop of, one wrong move ready to send him into the depths.

Now the cliff had broadened, the slope had gentled and here they stood together.

Both figuratively and literally.

They’d stopped just inside the door and were now simply staring at one another. Dean was staring at Cas stupefied and with a crooked little grin that made Cas itch to reach out and trace his lips with his fingers.

Or his tongue. He wasn’t picky.

Dean blushed and Cas suddenly wondered if he could read his thoughts and then had to remind himself that he didn’t need to hide his feelings any more. He looked down and grabbed hold of Dean’s hand and looked back up shyly.

“I’m uh…not ready to go much further just yet, Dean but…” Cas locked his eyes into those green ones he’d once tried to paint (maybe more than once) because they so captivated him. He’d found that you couldn’t just paint the eyes. You also had to add the freckles, and then you had to add the nose so the freckles were scattered over something, and if you added the nose, you needed the mouth, because only two-thirds of a face looked somewhat odd and before Cas knew it, he’d had an entire sketchbook filled with nothing but Dean’s face. He blinked and tried to focus. “I was wondering if…you would…my bed?”

Cas felt his fingers squeezed reassuringly and Dean nodded. “Sure, Cas. Anything you want.” His voice was soft and it washed over Cas soothingly, helping his body to relax. He tugged Dean along, both of them stripping down to boxers and tee shirts, crawling beneath the covers. It was still a little early compared to their normal times, but Cas hadn’t slept well the night before and then the last few hours had been full and exhausting.

He had a feeling they would fall asleep talking.

He wasn’t wrong.

Waking refreshed and warm, his legs tangled with Dean’s, his head pillowed once more on Dean’s chest, Cas sighed with contentment. He let his fingers trail over Dean’s shirt in random patterns and listened to him breath, took in the scent of Dean, now free to sniff and cuddle and touch to his heart’s content. No more guilt for brushing up against him, or leaning in too close.

Not when they’d both admitted in their late night talk of their feelings for each other. How long they’d held them, how the depth of it scared them – both taking the chance and the risk of losing the best friend they’d ever had. How they had both feared opening up because neither could imagine living without the other anymore.

“I’ve only known you a few years, Cas, but man…you mean more to me than my own dad. I don’t even miss him, and I should, but I don’t. And I’ve not seen him since…shit, last Christmas, I think. Even Sammy. My little brother has always meant everything to me, but what I feel for him – it pales in comparison. Sure, I miss him, but I can deal. He’s growing up, and I know we’ll reconnect again. But you? Even one day apart is too much. It kills me. You’ve turned me around on my head and I don’t know how, but it both scares and awes me.”

“It awes me too, Dean,” Cas whispered back, feeling caught in his throat. He brushed a hand over Dean’s cheek and Dean leaned into it.

They’d firmly agreed on several things. They were dating. Officially boyfriends in fact, if anyone should ask and yes, they would ask. Because Dean was going to move into Cas’s room as Cas had first suggested.

The few personal things he kept in the living room and not his ‘closet’ room, Dean would bring into Cas’s, and eventually, they would sort things so that Cas could turn the walk in into his craft room – it was certainly big enough  _ and  _ had its own outlets, go figure - but that was a project for another day.

Today was Christmas, and Cas was suddenly wishing he’d gotten something better for Dean than the homemade gift he’d designed.

He laid his head back down on Dean’s chest and closed his eyes, trying not to think about it. They hadn’t even agreed to exchange gifts. He wasn’t sure how Dean would react to even  _ getting  _ the gift, worrying about  _ what  _ it was was just borrowing trouble.

Dean nuzzled Cas’s hair, his breath moving it and tickling him before he kissed it, then peppered more gentle kisses against Cas’s face.

“You look way too serious for just waking up on Christmas morning, Cas. Regrets?” Dean asked softly.

“None. I’m just a worrier by nature. I thought you knew this?”

“Sure. Just like I know coffee and bacon are the way to lighten your mood.”

“I find kissing works wonders as well,” Cas noted, opening his eyes to look at Dean. Dean’s eyes were filled with mirth at Cas’s words and he chuckled.

“I am not averse to testing that theory as often as needed to prove it true,” Dean whispered.

“Good,” Cas whispered back.

The morning was lazy as fuck – as Dean would put it – and Cas found he didn’t care. He wasn’t sure  _ when  _ they finally got out of bed with all the kissing they did. But eventually they did, beelining for the kitchen and trading even more kisses around their morning tasks. Cas got their coffee ready while Dean cooked up the last of the bacon, and Cas thought fondly about how he could get used to this.

He leaned back on the counter beside Dean, both hands cupped around his mug, cradling it’s warmth, sipping it slowly and savoring the happy grins of the man next to him as the bacon sizzled tantalizingly beside them.

When Dean moved the pan off the hot burner and turned it off, Cas leaned in. “Merry Christmas, Dean.”

“Merry Christmas, Cas,” Dean murmured, plucking the now empty mug out of Cas’s hand and wrapping Cas into an embrace. Cas wasted no time in hugging Dean back and relishing in the closeness of his body, of how easily they seemed to fit together. 

How  _ right  _ it felt.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Dean pulled away suddenly and darted into the living room and dug in his corner, bringing out a gift bag. “I know we didn’t talk about gifts, but I wanted to get you something since neither of us were going home and…well, Christmas is  _ always  _ happier when there’s gifts and I like to give ‘em and…” Dean was rambling and it was adorable but Cas should probably put him out of his misery.

He smiled and walked over to his boyfriend –  _ boyfriend! –  _ and gently accepted the bag. “It’s okay, I have something for you as well. Grab the bacon and follow me.”

If they were going to unwrap presents, might as well do it proper and do it by the Christmas tree.

He sat cross legged on the floor beside the decorated dressed dummy and waited for Dean. He didn’t take long, thankfully, and he soon joined Cas on the floor. He set the bacon before them within easy reach of both of them and pressed against Cas’s side. Cas leaned into him with a happy hum before reaching out and snagging Dean’s gift.

Dean took it almost reverently and unwrapped it carefully.

Then he froze and his mouth dropped into an astonished grin. He squealed – honest to god  _ squealed _ – as he liberated the gift from the wrapping paper and held it up close to his eyes and inspected every inch of it.

“Dude, you made me an Impala! How fucking cool is  _ that?”  _ Dean laughed and Cas relaxed. With hand made gifts he was always worried that the effort behind the thought  _ or  _ the design or even the work to make it would be appreciated. But he shouldn’t have, since Dean was Dean. Dean looked up at Cas with a boyish grin that made Cas’s heart melt. “Can I hang it on our tree?”

“Of course. When I first made it, I thought you might hang it in your beloved car, but this can be our first ornament,” Cas said, realizing suddenly how momentous in occasion this was.

“Okay, mine next.”

“Of course, Dean.” Cas smirked at Dean’s excitement. “Though I thought I might open one of these other presents first, but since you asked so nicely…” he couldn’t help but tease and Dean laughed.

“Okay, okay, smart ass. I’m just…”

“I know…I feel the same,” Cas agreed. He pulled the paper out of the bag and noted there were several things inside.

“I know it’s kinda lame, but I know you always need stuff like that so…I’m contributing to your passion,” Dean said.

“It’s not lame, Dean. Sewing is, as you say, my passion. I’ll use it all gladly. I can always use extra needles and…I’m pretty sure this did not come like this,” Cas said with a grin, holding up the magnetic pin cushion Dean had painstakingly painted just the other night.

“Yeah, no, TARDIS sewing paraphernalia definitely seems to be in short supply,” Dean grinned. “You really like?”

“Of course I do. It was thoughtful, practical and still holds a touch from you that makes it even more special to me.”

“You take my breath away,” Dean said.

“You rather do mine as well,” Cas said, leaning his head on Dean’s shoulder. “Merry Christmas, Dean. I hope you don’t regret celebrating a holiday you’re not fond of. Thank you.”

“Cas, I’ve found it’s not the holiday itself I have a problem with. It’s the people I’ve spent it with. And I’m not blaming Sammy. He was in the same boat I was. But you…god, Cas, you’ve brought back this joy for Christmas I thought I’d lost when mom died.” Dean’s head landed atop of Cas’s and they curled together. “This has been the best holiday ever. I very much do  _ not  _ regret it. Especially if we can continue to make our own weird traditions every year, cause dude, I don’t think I ever want a  _ real _ tree ever again.”

Dean gestured at the dress dummy, all decked out in its Christmas glory, and chuckled, his laugh making Cas bounce lightly against him. Cas grinned. “Yes, well, I was feeling particularly inspired, I must say.”

“I’m glad you were. And I’m glad we both stayed home for Christmas.”

Cas breathed in sharply.

Home.

Dean was right. This was home. They might share it with a bunch of other people, but they were all good people. Their friends were like family and that’s what families did.

They created a home, no matter where they were, as long as they were together.

Real family did that.

Both Dean and Cas came from broken homes and families. One that broke through tragedy, another broken by circumstance and choice.

To be able to find this and each other, to find home – it was the Christmas Miracle Cas hadn’t even realized he was waiting for.

“I love you, Dean,” Cas choked out, burying his face into Dean’s shirt briefly before raising his head to gaze adoringly at Dean.

The bacon lay forgotten as they lost themselves in each other once more.

  
**Bonus scene**

Dean: “I can’t believe we forgot about the bacon!”

Cas: “Dean, it’s bacon, it’ll be all right.”

Dean: “But Cas! It’s sacrilege to waste the ambrosia of the gods!”

Cas: “Look, it’s okay. I don’t want to throw it away any more than you do. We can warm it up and still eat it. No harm done.”

Dean: “Oh hell no, you heathen! We are  _ not  _ warming it up in the damn microwave!”

Cas: “I’m not sure what difference using the oven will make except to make us wait longer. It’ll taste the same.”

Dean: “Trust me, Cas. It’s better this way.”

Cas rolled his eyes but accepted it. Either way, he’d get his bacon, so he had no real complaints.

 


	2. Fresh Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone comes home in time for New Years and Cas finds his family situation is not nearly as bad as he thought it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO BETA for this.   
> my program froze multiple times while tryign to get this typed up and i was supposed to leave the house 10 minutes ago!
> 
> Happy New Year everyone - thank you Dmsilvas for a couple of hte ideas i managed to use.

**Fresh Start**

 

By the time everyone started trickling back for New Year’s, Dean had well and truly moved into Cas’s room and their things had been sorted.

What they’d  _forgotten_  to do, was take care of the bits and pieces of Christmas decorations they’d left out in the main rooms. Well, that wasn’t quite true. Some of it had been deliberate. Like the things they’d left behind for Balthazar and Meg. They were just  _waiting_ to see their roommate’s reactions to those. And Dean was fairly certain that Benny would be perfectly fine with the rein-beer décor that had suddenly appeared in his room.

What they  _had_ forgotten was to take down the holiday lights in the windows and on the living room wall, or to remove the holiday themed bathroom set from the main/guest bathroom (they were  _not_ about to remove the other one. Dean was just waiting to see who had the worst reaction to it).

Meg was the first one back. They could tell by the way she tossed her bags in the room, as it shared a wall with Cas and Dean’s. Dean stretched against Cas and listened to his boyfriend mumble in his arms.

“Meg’s home,” Dean said softly. “Which means the rest should be about to descend soon as well. You ready for this?”

There was another sleepy mumble and Dean laughed softly. He should know better than to get anything other than kisses out of Cas before he’d had his coffee.

“Holy hell! What the fuck is that?” Meg shrieked. Dean started howling, wondering which thing she’d found first but betting on it being the creepy as fuck candles that Cas had found. Cas lurched upwards at the noise with a gasp and a frantic look.

Dean took his stubbled face into his hands and caught the blue eyes with his own. “Easy, babe. It’s just Meg finding one of our landmines.” Dean chortled and Cas relaxed into him.

“Oh…I kinda wish I’d seen her face,” Cas yawned.

The sudden banging on their door made Cas jump again. Dean jumped too, for that matter, so caught up in Cas was he that he’d already forgotten Meg was on a tear.

“Open up, Clarence! I know you’re in there! You never keep the door shut unless you’re sleeping.”

Cas groaned. “I don’t wanna move.”

Dean kissed his temple and eased Cas back down to the pillow and slipped off the bed. “I’ll let her in. Then you can stay still  _and_ see her face. If you’re up for it.” Cas waved a hand at him and Dean turned and went for the door where Meg was still banging.

He nearly laughed his ass off at the stupefied look on Meg’s face when  _he_ answered the door instead of Cas. Her mouth gaping, she slowly looked him up then down and up again, taking note – he was sure – of the fact that he was only wearing boxers. What? Cas was a furnace. And Cuddly. Okay, Dean really didn’t mind the cuddly part.

“Is…is that a hickey?” She choked out.

Dean blinked. “Uh…maybe?” He blushed. It was really too soon for too much else but their hands and mouths had definitely done a bit of exploring. He probably had at least a dozen hickies. It hadn’t even occurred to him. He knew Cas certainly did. He grinned a little dopily at the thought of having left his mark all over Cas and couldn’t help but be pleased that Cas had done the same in return.

Cas groaned and lifted himself off the bed, padding over to join Dean at the door and squinting blearily at Meg. “What’s going on? Why are you so _loud_?” he grumbled.

“You lost me money, Clarence! How could you?” She looked affronted, but there was a twinkle in her eye that Dean couldn’t put a name to.

“Huh?” Cas blinked at her slowly and Dean groaned.

“I think she bet on your – well, _our_ , I suppose – love life, Cas,” Dean wrapped an arm around Cas’s waist and drew him in.

Cas dropped his side sleepily against Dean’s shoulder. “That seems foolish. Why would _anyone_ do that?”

“Good question.” Dean raised an eyebrow at their roommate. “Meg? Care to answer?”

“Duh! Because we had to do _something_ while we were waiting for the two of you to resolve your absolutely disgusting UST. Dammit! I can’t believe Balthy won! He’s going to be insufferable!”

As if on cue, the door to the apartment opened and they heard Balthazar’s accent floating down the small hallway. “Where are my lovebirds?” He cooed.

Dean’s eyes widened and his gazed flicked down to Meg’s hands, only just now taking in the phone dangling in her grip. “Seriously Meg? You texted him?”

“Dean-o! Not just him – I texted _every_ body,” she replied, smirking.

Balthazar appeared behind her with a smarmy grin, holding out a suspiciously bottle shaped item wrapped in silver wrapping paper.

“What is that?” Cas asked with more curiosity than trepidation, yawning without bothering to cover his mouth.

“Call it a joint Christmas gift, if you will, for the two of you. Congratulations for getting your heads out of your asses and slipping something else in,” his grin widened.

“Balthazar!” Cas groaned in horror, finally waking up just in time to process that statement.

“Hey babe, no worries, right? Don’t forget the ‘gifts’ we left Balthazar,” Dean whispered in Cas’s ear before leaning forward to grab what had to be booze – and who turned down free booze? – from Balthazar’s hand. “Thank you,” Dean allowed, Cas following with his own before pushing past everyone.

“It’s too early for this. I’m getting some coffee. Join me if you want some.”

“It’s practically _noon_ , Clarence! Wow, you two have really been going at it, haven’t ya?” Meg crowed.

“Shut up, Meg,” Dean said, following Cas to the kitchen. He helped his new boyfriend – he reveled in that, still unable to believe this had happened even though it had already been almost a week, one _blissful_ week – set everything up and then the two of them leaned back against the counter. Dean pulled Cas so that his back rested on Dean’s chest and he wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist. Cas leaned back, tucking his head into Dean’s and closed his eyes.

“What the bloody hell is _that?_ ” Balthazar’s exclamation startled a snort, then a giggle, out of Dean while Cas’s mouth quirked up slightly.

“What? You’re not the only one who can spring gifts on someone,” Cas mumbled. “Are you refusing mine and Dean’s gifts?” He yawned again, following it up with an inhale. The smell of coffee was already starting to permeate the small kitchen, though they still would need to wait a few more minutes.

“Which of you picked the dispenser?”

“Who do you think?” Dean asked.

Balthazar’s eyes narrowed. “My gut instinct is to say you – it’s more you’re style – but I have a feeling this time I’d be wrong.”

“Give the man a cigar!” Dean laughed. “Yeah, I totally would have but Cas beat me to it. He saw it first so he got dibs.”

“I have a feeling you two have more of a story to tell than I expected.”

“Not really,” Cas mumbled.

“I call bullshit,” Meg said. “Speaking of bullshit…what the fuck did you two think you were doing?” She looked around pointedly at the walls and the windows before she turned back to them and froze for about 3 seconds before she broke out into hysterical laughter. “Oh…my…god…” she breathed out, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Never mind, if you left that for Balthy, then I forgive you.”

She walked out of the kitchen still snickering, loud enough that none of them heard the door open and shut again.

“Did Christmas throw up in here while we were gone?” Benny asked, appearing suddenly beside them and still looking at the holiday lights that Dean and Cas had both forgotten to turn off the night before. “Oh, uh, did you move into Cas’s room yet?” Benny squeezed by them just as the coffee pot finished, carrying a crockpot with him.

Dean beelined for the coffee while Cas squinted at Benny. “Did you get a crockpot for Christmas?”

“Actually, yeah. And it already has food in it. Some leftover gumbo. Figured, since we’d all been talking about Christmas traditions before we left, I’d bring some of mine home to share. Well, not leftover _from_ Christmas. I promise, it’s a new pot of gumbo.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Cas said.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I can’t wait to try it.”

Balthazar shuddered. “No thanks.” He pulled out a glass and played with the dispenser and pouted when he realized they hadn’t actually put any liquor in it. “Cheapskates,” he muttered before turning back to the cabinets and rummaging about for something suitable.

Benny eyed the Santa dispenser and then Dean and Cas. He grinned and shook his head but said nothing else.

Dean and Cas took their freshly steaming mugs of coffee and left the tiny kitchen and meandered over ot the couch. Carefully, they sat down, cuddling together, Dean reaching for the remote and turning on the tv. It was fairly quite except for the sound of Dean clicking though the channels for several moments as everyone dropped their things off in their rooms, got into more comfortable clothing and eventually joined them there. Meg took the ratty blue recliner and Benny took the other end of the couch. Balthazar stood, a glass in his hand.

“We still on for New Years?” he asked, sipping his drink.

“I sure hope so. We already invited Charlie, Jo, Ash and Victor. They’ll all be showing up in…” Dean looked down at his wrist and frowned when he remembered he’d taken his watch off before bed the night before. He looked at clock on the dvd player. “Four hours. Place is already tidy, so we just have to make sure we have enough food and drinks.”

“Okay, good. I volunteer Clarence and I for the shopping, Dean-o and Benny for the cooking and Balthazar for the drinks. What’s on the menu boys?”

“Not looking for anything fancy, Meg. Tons of chips and dip, maybe some pigs in a blanket and deviled eggs and then some pies and cookies for desert,” Dean offered.

“We should have something else, something more substantial and filling,” Cas said, looking up at Dean disapprovingly.

Benny nodded. “Can still do it without going crazy. We already got my gumbo. What about corned beef and mashed potatoes? I know it’s the wrong season, but it’s stupid easy, and damn tasty.”

“I can live with that,” Dean agreed. “How about the rest of ya?”

Cas hummed his agreement while Balthazar waved his hand in a go on motion. Meg put her phone down and grinned. “So, now that that’s settled, spill,” Meg pushed, crossing her legs under herself.

“I’d rather not. Hot coffee all over my groin and a trip to the ER is not the way I wish to spend my New Years,” Cas grumbled, the sound of it mellowing a little with every sip of coffee.

“Ah, of course. You have better uses for your groin now, eh?” Balthazar said, his eyes waggling.

Dean groaned and Cas glared at him. “You pretend to be classy, but you’re so crass. How do you _not_ get in trouble for that mouth of yours?”

“I have my way,” Balthazar noted.

“So, does this mean Dean won’t be sleeping in the living room anymore?” Benny asked.

Dean silently thanked him for the change of subject and hoped that the change between him and Cas wouldn’t mean they’d have to put up with comments like these all the time now. The warmth of Cas’s body against Dean’s, the comfortableness of it, the rightness of how they fit together, even in small moments like these, easily convinced Dean how it was worth all the comments in the world.

Soon after that, they broke apart, Cas and Dean getting dressed and went about their errands. Dean and Benny started working on whatever could be started while the rest went to get supplies, and also so there would be someone home when their first guests arrived.

“So, you and Cas, huh? Finally decided to listen to me?” Benny nudged Dean as they worked in the kitchen, wrapping mini hot dogs.

“Nah man, y’know, I can’t even really explain how it happened. I mean, it was a whole lotta things all at once and then I just…got the courage and it almost went sideways till I figured out _why_ it almost went sideways and then…we just…were, somehow.” Dean’s hands slowed as he talked, staring at nothing as he thought of Cas and their first kiss at the ice rink.

Benny’s quiet laugh cut into Dean’s thoughts and he blushed, looking back down at his hand, resuming motion. “Cher, you’re really gone on him! I mean, I always knew you were, and it was plain as day to see he was too, but this…” Benny shook his head with a chuckle. “I’m glad the two of you figured it out, however it happened.”

“Yeah, me too.”

A knock on the door interrupted him and Benny clapped Dean on his shoulder. “I got it. You finish this.” Grabbing a paper towel to wip his hands, Benny headed for the door and Dean went back to rolling the last of the mini hotdogs into the dough. This was the third batch and he was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be enough. He knew he, himself, could eat almost all of them without even thinking about it.

He heard Benny’s voice coming closer, confusion making his Cajun accent thicker than normal. It was usually slight enough that Dean and the others had no difficulty in understand their friend at all. “Benny? I everything all right?”

“You tell me, cher,” Benny popped back into the kitchen and a not so expected guess followed him in.

“GABRIEL?” Dean blinked in shock. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“What the hell do you _think_ we’re doing here, Winchester?”

“What do you mean, we?” Dean’s eyes narrowed at Gabriel. In the blink of an eye, the kitchen had yet another body crowding into it. “Jimmy? What is going on? Did Cas invite you for the New Year’s party?” Dean’s brain was circling, fast. It wasn’t outside the realm of possibility, he supposed. But it wasn’t the sort of thing Cas would do and then not _tell_ someone. Balthazar? Sure. Meg? Hell, yes. Even Dean was known to be forgetful on occasion but Benny and Cas were considerate to pull a stunt like that.

Unless they were here because…

Fuck.

Dean grabbed a towel, wiped his hands off and tossed it in the garbage. He looked at Benny. “Uh, we’re going to…go to Cas’s room. I think the four of us need to have a private discussion.”

“Everything okay?”

“I’ll let you know. Maybe. If Cas is all right with it.” Taking a deep breath, Dean gestured to the two of them to move out of the kitchen. “Follow me,” He said brusquely, brushing past them. The three of them were soon ensconced in his and Cas’s room. Gabriel straddled the desk chair and Jimmy sat on the bed. Dean remained standing. He shut the door and leaned on the wall, crossing his arms over his chest.

He glared.

“If either of you are here to give Cas the same shit your mom did – “

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on there, tex! Hell no! We came to make sure our little brother was all right.” Gabriel interrupted breathlessly.

Dean relaxed and closed his eyes, letting out a breath. He opened them up again and glared once more. “Took you long enough. Cas was a wreck. Why didn’t you come sooner?”

“We didn’t know anything was wrong, at first,” Jimmy finally spoke up. It was weird for Dean to literally be staring at a mirror copy of Cas that was anything _but_ Cas like. “We already knew he wasn’t coming, so when Cas didn’t make an appearance for Christmas, we weren’t suspicious at all.”

Gabriel nodded. “No. not until Jimmy called me up two days ago to ask if I’d heard from Cas at all. Which, of course, I hadn’t.”

“And neither had I. Cas usually at least texts me every couple of days. I mean…we’re twins! And then he just…stopped. I’ve tried calling – we both have. But we got nothing.” Jimmy wrung his hands together. He was radiating distress but he was still a little suspicious.

“So you just hopped into a car and drove all the way here to check on him?” Dean said in disbelief.

“If it was your brother, wouldn’t you?” Jimmy countered.

“Of course!” Dean said, then sighed. “When did you find out about what your mother said? What she did?”

“When we couldn’t get a hold of Cas, we called our parents to see if they’d heard from him. Dear old Dad was useless. He didn’t even know what day it was,” Gabriel snorted. “But mom…she was a font of information –“

“Poisonous viper,” Jimmy spat out.

“Can’t argue with that,” Gabriel sighed. “I know I’m not perfect, but how I’m related to that woman, I’ll never know. As soon as I got off the phone with mom, yesterday afternoon, I hopped in a car and drove out to pick Jimmy up and then we came up together. Don’t know if you know, but I kinda live almost a day away, and Jimmy had no other way to get here – “

“My damn car broke down again and I don’t have the money for the parts to fix it and everything else would have taken just as long as waiting for Gabe. So I did.” Jimmy raked a hand through his hair. “But shit, Dean, why wouldn’t he answer our calls? Or the texts? I think I sent a million of them. Did he really believe that I – that _we’d_ support her in this?”

Jimmy’s face was breaking Dean’s heart. With a sigh, he pushed away from the wall and walked over to the bed. Beside it, on the nightstand, was Cas’s phone. He picked it up and poked at it. “Yup. Deader than a doornail.” He dropped it back down to the table with a clatter and sat down on the other end of the bed, looking over at the brothers. “Look, he was pretty distraught after it went down. Then it was Christmas day and I spent the time distracting him so he could enjoy the holiday he’d been looking forward to so much.” Dean gestured across the room and their eyes followed it to land on the Christmas Dummy Cas had decorated.

“And afterwards?”

Dean blushed and rubbed at the back of his neck. “We’ve uh, been really distracted, okay?”

“Distracted how, exactly?” Jimmy stood up to loom over Dean.

“Whoa! Sheath your claws there, momma cat,” Dean rolled his eyes. “Look, why don’t we wait for Cas to come home okay? There are things I think we shouldn’t discuss without him, just like I didn’t think this was appropriate to talk of in front of Benny. None of our roommates know what happened. They literally just got home and I don’t imagine Cas really wants to talk about it.”

“Fine. For now,” Jimmy grudgingly agreed.

“Well then, sine you’re here, I suppose you can stay for the party, as long as Cas is okay with you both dropping in like this.” Dean pulled out a drawer in the stand and took out Cas’s charger and got his phone set up. “In the meantime, him and Meg should be back with groceries soon and I have things to finish getting ready.”

As soon as Dean stood up and headed for the door, he heard a flop. He turned to fid Gabriel face down on the bed and Jimmy yawning. “I’d say make yourselves at home but, it looks like you already have.”

“Hey, man, he’s been driving since yesterday with barely a stop unless I forced him, and I’ve stayed awake to keep _him_ awake. We’re exhausted. And since you’ve assured us Cas is as fine as he can be under the circumstances, I think we’ll crash till he’s ready to talk to us.” Jimmy yawned again and proceeded to lay down, shoving Gabe across the bed to make room.

Dean shook his head and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him. He met Benny back in the living room. There wasn’t much else they could actually do till meg and Cas got back, so he sat beside him on the couch, turning on the tv and the old Gamecube he’d picked up cheap.

“So uh, my brother found me some games for this system on Ebay. I haven’t had a chance to try any yet. You mind?”

“Go ahead, brother,” Benny said.

“Thanks, man,” Dean grinned, popping the tiny disc in. He settled back on the couch and quickly lost himself in the village of Ordon Village with Benny eventually getting up to check on the pigs in a blanket and plug in his crockpot, disappearing for a short time in his own room.

Dean had been playing for perhaps 45 minutes when Benny came back out to find him frowning at the screen.

“You still in the village? Seems like a pretty slow game,” Benny noted, sitting back down.

“I’m stuck.”

“Stuck? You?”

“Shut up, man! I’m freaking stuck, okay! And I haven’t even gotten out of the village yet,” Dean grumped. “See that monkey? He’s stolen a cradle and I have to get it back. But I literally cant reach him. I can’t climb that rock and I have no weapons.”

“Wasn’t there a slingshot in the shop? Can’t you use that?”

“I can’t get the slingshot, because the shop lady’s depressed that her cat ran away. I found the cat, but I can’t make him follow me without a fish. I can’t get a fish because I don’t have the fishing pole and the person who’s supposed to give me the fishing pole is upset because the GODDAMNED MONKEY STOLE HER CRADLE!” Dean pushed that out in a hard, fast breath, then clenched his teeth together.

Benny wisely stood up and backed away, but not before Dean was positive he heard him humming “There’s a hole in my bucket” and he snorted. It was an apt description of his current situation. There had to be something he was missing and he refused to put down this game until he’d solved it.

And he was too prideful to check online too.

Five minutes later, the door opened and Meg and Cas strode in with a few bags each. “Hey, little help her?” Meg called. Dean paused and him and Benny helped their roommates bring in all their things.

“You guys took a lot longer than I expected,” Dean said while they walked down the apartment hallway side by side.

“You can blame Meg. One of those bags is for us, apparently.” Cas sighed. “I tried to tell her no, but you know how she is. And then she was flirting with the cashier. Also, I never realized how much of an angry driver she was.” Cas shuddered and Dean winced in sympathy.

“Sounds rough.” Dean acknowledged with a small smile. Cas noticed it and nudged him with an elbow.

“Thanks for your sympathy,” he drawled.

They dropped the last bag off and Dean gave Benny a look and tilted his head at Meg. Benny nodded back solemnly and proceeded to distract her while Dean pulled a confused Cas down the hall to his room.

“Dean, why is our door shut?”

“Shh…” Dean looked around to make sure Meg hadn’t followed them. “Okay, so don’t get mad, but they were really, really worried about you. Did you know your phone had died?”

Cas blinked and his hand immediately went to the pockets of his coat, slapping it against his thigh as he patted himself down. “No, I don’t…I’m not even sure where it is, to be honest.”

“Currently charging in your room. As are your brothers. They drove all night to get here and are – last I checked – conked out on the bed.”

“Oh,” Cas said softly, his hands stilling as he looked down. Guilt and fear flashed in his eyes and Dean caught his chin and gently raised it back up.

“No, babe, they’re not mad at you, and they’re not hear to deliver more of what your mom dished out. They’re here for _you_ because they were scared when you didn’t answer your phone, okay? Especially after they found out _what_ your mom did. They wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Oh,” Cas repeated, the word a little stronger this time, filled with relief. Then he sniffed and Dean wrapped him in his arms.

“You wanna go in or give it a few minutes?” Dean asked quietly.

“Please just…this.” Cas choked out and Dean nodded, tightening his arms around his boyfriend. He tried to let Cas take as much comfort as he needed from Dean until he was ready to face his brothers. Finally, he pulled back. “Okay. I’m ready now.”

Dean brushed a stray lock of messy hair across Cas’s forehead and dropped a kiss on it. “Okay. Want me to go with you or…?”

“I do, but, I think I should go talk to them alone, first. Though, if they’re as tired as you say, I’m not sure I should wake them up.” Cas fidgeted with his sleeve and bit his lip.

“Trust me, they want to be woken up. They can take another nap afterwards, once the excitement has worked its way out of their systems.”

Cas nodded. “Okay, yeah. That’s probably best. Thanks, Dean. I’ll be out in a little bit.”

“Well, don’t take too long, or I’ll be forced to come and rescue you.” Dean grinned.

“Heaven forbid,” Cas said dryly. He kissed Dean softly before turning away and opening the door. He slipped through and closed it behind him, Dean returning to the living room. He noted that Balthazar had come home, him and Cas so distracted that neither had noticed.

Benny caught his eye. “Go sit down. Too many cooks in the kitchen. I already got us started.” He raised his eyebrow and nodded his head back towards the rooms _Everything okay?_ Dean nodded. Or it would be, he was sure.

A few moments later, he had unpaused the game and was unsuccessfully trying to throw boulders at the monkey. With a growl, he gave up that and went to explore the village again. He must have missed something!

A warmth beside him helped him relax and he leaned into Cas. “How’d it go?”

Cas shrugged. “About what you’d expect. You were right, they were just worried. I’m glad that…I was just so upset that my own _mother_ would…that I...”

“It’s okay. You weren’t thinking straight. It happens.” Dean finished climbing to the top of the tower and turned to look at his boyfriend. “Hey, check this out…if you blow on this blade of grass, it calls an Eagle you can control. I can totally use it to knock down that bee’s nest over there and collect the honey without being at risk for getting stung!”

Cas frowned at the thought of any harm happening to bees, even video game bees, and Dean chuckled at how adorable he was. “Well…the eagle thing is neat, anyway. How far can you get with the Eagle? Can you reach all the way down that canyon and…what _is_ that?” Cas squinted through his glasses.

Dean’s eyes widened. “Cas! You’re a genius!”

“What did I say?” Cas flushed with the compliment but the confusion was still clear in his voice.

“I’ve been absolutely stuck about how to reach that stupid, thieving monkey and you just solved it in an eyeblink! I gotta make it drop the cradle it stole or I can’t get any further in the game!” With glee, Dean used the blade of grass to call the eagle and, with the great satisfaction of having been well and truly stuck, he guided the eagle straight for the monkey. He spent the next few minutes finishing up that sequence of events he’d outlined earlier and saved it in relief. He set the controls down and looked over at the kitchen. Benny caught him looking and waved him back and Dean settled in against Cas, wrapping the other in his arms.

“So they gonna stay for the party? They’re welcome to if you’re cool with it, though I have no idea where they’re gonna sleep.”

“It’s Gabe and Jimmy. I think Gabe once fell asleep in a tub at a party. He’s not picky.”

A knock interrupted anything further and since Benny was embroiled deep in the kitchen, and Meg and Balthazar were too wrapped up in whatever they were doing to notice, Dean stood to answer the door. The rest of their guests had arrived all at once, and Dean suspected they’d carpooled to get there.

Cas joined him at the door and there was a round of hugs and vigorous shoulder slapping as Charlie, Ash, Jo and Victor all slipped through the door loudly and cheerfully.

“Hey, so, I heard you guys finally got together,” Charlie squealed when she launched herself at Dean, reaching out to yank Cas in for a hug. “I’m still mad I lost the bet. I thought you guys would have gotten together _ages_ ago!”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Sheesh, Bradbury, was _everyone_ betting on our love lives?”

“Pretty much.” Victor laughed. “It got pretty complicated thought. Ash and Charlie had to cook up a spreadsheet for who’s owing who what.”

“How the hell do you complicate a bet about getting together or not?” Cas asked, head tilting.

Charlie patted his cheeks. “Oh, so sweet and naïve…” she sighed. “It wasn’t just a matter of _when_ but _how._ And then there was the little matter of having to choose new dates every time you two proved to be even more stubbornly blind then…then…then Ronald Weasley in **The Goblet of Fire**.”

“Yeah, thanks for being a chickenshit, Dean…” Jo grumped, pulling off her gloves and stuffing them in her coat pockets. “I had such high hopes for you…”

“Actually, it was Dean that made the first move, if that matters.”

“Wait, are you helping them? They _bet_ on us!” Dean looked at Cas incredulously. Jo’s grumpiness had changed suddenly to a grin and she looked to Ash who held up his hands.

“You’re just gonna have to wait, Jo. Gotta boot up the ol’ laptop. And we need to get the details first so we can properly figure out who owes who what.”

Dean and Cas led them into the living room proper after showing everyone where to put up their coats and leave their bags. Now that all the guests were there, they could get properly going. Benny came out to greet them all, Meg flipped them off, then disappeared with Charlie, and Jo started arguing with Balthazar about the booze and shoving him out of the way. She rolled up her sleeves and glared at him till he backed rather fearfully out of the kitchen.

Taking over for Benny, Dean checked up on the food, Cas taking time to chat with friends they hadn’t seen since graduation. Ash had wasted no time in getting his laptop setup and hooked into their net – he hadn’t even bothered asking for a password, he was just suddenly online. Dean didn’t like to think about how.

The apartment was quickly consumed with laughter and chatter. The lights were plugged in and Dean and Cas didn’t even get too much teasing about it. Benny and Jo, actually, were impressed with the designs they’d made, and made sure to say so. Cas’s brothers emerged a couple hours later and joined the party with ease, introductions happening during a rousing game of Mario Kart.

It was calm, relaxing and fun, and seeing Cas at ease set made Dean happy. Partway through the party, though, Cas disappeared. Ever and always attuned to his presence, the low rumble of his voice, the depth of his laugh, Dean picked up on it quickly and excused himself when Cas didn’t return for a while.

He didn’t want to be the pushy, stalky type of boyfriend, but he knew Cas had had a recent upset and he just wanted to make sure he was okay. Why else would his friend have disappeared while they’d all bee having fun and thinking about his mother should have been far from his mind.

The bedroom door was closed and even though it was now Dean’s room too, he hesitated outside of it. What if Cas wanted to be alone? What if Dean was intruding?

With a gulp, he knocked lightly on the door. “Cas? Can I come in?”

“Of course, Dean,” came quickly and he pushed open the door, shutting it behind him. Cas looked at him wetly from the bed, his phone in his hands.

“Shit, are you okay?” Dean rushed to Cas’s side, taking his hands in his, removing the phone from Cas’s grasp.

“Yeah…” Cas smiled up at him and Dean breathed in relief. His eyes still sparkled with unshed tears, but the feeling behind them was happiness and relief. “Yeah, I was…I was just talking to dad.”

Dean hummed encouragement and moved to rub his hand up and down Cas’s back soothingly. Cas leaned into the touch and closed his eyes, still smiling.

“Dad called. He uh, he’d been worried when my brothers brought it to his attention that they hadn’t heard from me. He’s actually been calling nonstop. I only just remembered my phone was charging in here and came to check.” Cas laughed softly. “I thought I’d lost my entire family but it turned out I was jumping to conclusions.”

“That’s wonderful! I’m glad your dads’ still on your side. That’s great, babe,” Dean said happily. “God, I’m just, that’s great, Cas. Your brothers and your dad – I know it’s not everyone but…”

“I know. It’s much better than I had feared,” Cas agreed. “I still wish…” He sighed and Dean squeezed him. “But I’m not going to let it get me down. I can’t. I still have family who care for me. I can’t let one bad egg…”

“It’s okay to feel sad about it, Cas,” Dean assured him. “I know I would. Its completely understandable. But I’m here for you, and so are your brothers and your dad. You’re not alone. Hell, I’m pretty sure anybody out there will be there for you.”

A knock on the door had them both looking up. Dean shot Cas a questioning glance and he nodded, calling out, “Come in!”

Charlie came in, Jo in tow, their hands linked together. “Hey bitches! Why don’t you come out and join the rest of the party? It’s going to be midnight soon!”

“Is everything all right?” Jo asked shrewdly.

“Yeah, it is now,” Cas smiled and wiped at his eyes, then glanced at his hands as if surprised they were wet.

“What happened?” Jo and Charlie came closer as Jo continued her line of questioning.

“Someone outed me to my family and…it didn’t go well. But…it didn’t go as badly as I had thought it had either,” Cas explained.

“What? Who the fuck would _do_ something like that?” Charlie gasped in outrage.

Cas shrugged. “I have no idea. My mother wasn’t too forthcoming with the details when she decided to chew me up and throw me out of the family. Apparently, however, she neglected to consult the rest of the family about that decision so its just her, which…” he shrugged.

“While not good, it’s not as bad as it could have been?” Jo guessed. He nodded. “Yeah, I get that.”

“Yo, want me to hack everybody we know to figure out who did it?” Charlie offered.

“I highly doubt there’s any records on the internet for you to find. Mom relies on face to face gossip,” Cas smiled ruefully.

“It’s no problem. I’ll get Ash to help. I’m sure between the two of us, we can at least figure out a pool of suspects and then do some more hands on investigation, cause that shit? Is not cool.” Charlie said firmly.

“Thank you, Charlie,” Cas and Dean said together, with feeling. _Damn, was Charlie a great friend or what?_ Dean thought.

“Well, if that’s settled, I think we should all get out there and get ready to face the new year!” Jo tugged at Charlie and looked at Cas and Dean over her shoulder. “You boys coming or what?”

“Not yet they aren’t!” Meg shouted from the hallway.

“Meeeeg,” Cas groaned, burying his red face in Dean’s shirt. “Why is she so embarrassing?”

“Cas, in one way or another, we’re _all_ embarrassing. If you haven’t noticed that by now…” Jo pointed out sweetly. “Now get your asses out there so I can pour the booze. We got three minutes left before the clock strikes twelve.”

With a laugh, Dean stood up, drawing Cas to his feet and, also hand in hand, they joined the rest of the party. Mario Kart had been put on hold, Jimmy and Benny were trying to get Gabriel to get down off the table and Balthazar was already passing out drinks using the Santa Dispenser in Jo’s absence. She hissed in annoyance and went back to cut him off or to help, Dean didn’t care which.

Soon, glasses in hand, the tv tuned in to the countdown, they all stood together awaiting the new year. Throughout the complex, Dean could hear other apartments joining in on the countdown and he smiled at the solidarity of it.

On one, he and Cas allowed everyone else to do the shouting, sharing a kiss to welcome the new year together. The last week had been turbulent as hell, but it had ended on a very high note and now they would be starting out on it too.

Dean still couldn’t believe they were together, after all this time. His heart swelled as he stared into those blue eyes he’d fallen in love with the first time he’d seen them. “Happy New Year, Cas,” he whispered.

“Happy New Year, Dean.” Cas whispered back.

 

* * *

 

**Bonus scene:**

Benny: “Where’d you find all this stuff?”

Dean: “Here or there. You mad?”

Benny snickered as he handled the rein-beer décor he’d found in his room. “Brotha, this thing is so corny it’s great. And that dispenser you gave Balthazar was perfect. I just wish I could have seen Megs expression when she first discovered those creepy candles. Just watching the insane pleasure she took in melting them down was a hoot.”

A scream echoed through the apartment, followed by Balthazar’s bellow of: “Why the fuck is it staring at me?”

Benny blinked and raised his head as Cas and Dean howled. Breathlessly, Dean said, “Guess he found the…the bathroom covers…”

“I’m wondering if we need to find a witness protection program?” Cas pointed out.

“Run. I’ll make sure you get a head start.” Benny offered.


	3. Mix Tapes, Chocolates and Those Sacred Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Valentine's Day, the day of lovers and couples and general togetherness all being celebrated on one special, overly commercialized day of the year. 
> 
> And Dean absolutely hates it. Thing is, he doesn't know how Cas feels about it. 
> 
> Now what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had this idea, after speaking with the mod for the group I did the original prompt for, that I would continue adding timestamp chapters to this for different holidays.
> 
> I HAD MEANT to put this up on Valentines Day buuuuut, I kinda had my DWBB to take care of. Due to life, i actually put the last, finishing touches to that fic less than 24 hours before it posted. Which happened on Friday. I've also been doing a ton of overtime at work this week, so all in all, it didn't leave me much time to A) remember this idea in time for the holiday or B) to actually write anything when I did remember. 
> 
> plus family visiting from far away all weekend and waking up early to do things with them...been pretty busy. But only 4 days late isn't too bad?
> 
> This is supposed to be fluffy and sweet (like a full second of angst creeps in but it doesn't last long. Dean makes sure of that) 
> 
> Not beta'd. And i've had maybe 8 hours of sleep since friday morning. it is now almost midnight on sunday. So please forgive any mistakes, but I wanted to get this up so it wouldn't be TOOOO much later.
> 
> Enjoy!

Dean moped.

Now that he and Cas were together, he shouldn’t have time for moping, but it was almost Valentine’s Day and he didn’t know what to do. He’d never actually been in a relationship during the holiday itself, but if the TV was to be believed, it was a day for sappy gestures.

What he and Cas had was so new, still, that he wasn’t entirely sure how to approach the subject. Was this something Cas would even be in to? He didn’t  _think_ so, but then… Dean sighed. What if he  _didn’t_ do anything and hurt Cas’s feelings? What if he made Cas feel unloved?

It was the furthest thing from the truth, but Dean didn’t need a special day to tell Cas that he loved him.

Right?

Dammit, Dean should just ask him straight out. But then, what if by asking he made Cas feel guilty or second guess  _himself_  and give Dean an untruthful answer, thinking  _Dean_ wanted to celebrate the couples day?

For almost a week straight, Dean glared at every pink and red monstrosity he was exposed to every time he left the house. He growled at every jingle on his radio until he came to his sense and popped a cassette into the tape deck.

Even then it was Zeppelin, but that was something he listened to every day. It was special  _every_ day, not just on one of them, just like Cas.

_Just like Cas._

Hmm…well now, there was a thought.

Of course, Cas didn’t have a cassette player, so that would likely be a bit of an issue but… Before Dean even realized it, he’d steered the Impala into the parking lot of a thrift shop. This town was full of various thrift and antique shops, Goodwill’s and consignments. He was bound to be able to find  _something_  that could play cassettes in  _one_  of them, right?

Several hours later and Dean had to concede that maybe he’d been thinking a mite too optimistically, which subsequently brought his mood back down into the gutter. He kept going, though, even while every store kept coming up short.

He wasn’t even really paying attention anymore when he finally found it. In fact, he almost walked right past it, covered as it was by old records – and he wasn’t looking for records or a record player – and a fedora somebody had dropped on top of it.

But something caught his eye – he wasn’t even sure what – and he stopped and gave it a closer look, shoving the hat aside and carefully shifting the records stacked in front of it.

It wasn’t big, but it had a double tape deck and a set of speakers. He picked it up and turned it over. The wires looked intact and the buttons didn’t stick. The tape beds opened when he tested them. All in all, it looked to be in decent condition, probably tossed on the trash heap because someone had upgraded their collection to CD.

Their loss would be Cas’s gain, he thought with a grin. Besides, he needed to make some new copies of his own tapes before they wore out and he didn’t have his own tape deck. His current collection had been made on his father’s stereo, and Dean wasn’t about to brave his dad just for a few songs.

This worked out  _perfectly_.

Of course, the hardest part was keeping the purchase a secret. Thankfully, like a trooper, Benny helped with that.

“Thanks Benny, you’re a lifesaver!”

“No problem, brother,” Benny grinned. “You just go on making that boy smile. I swear, I’ve never see the two of you so happy as you are now. You and Cas, you’re just made for each other.”

Dean blushed and fiddled with the tape deck. “Yeah,” he said softly. He grinned, feeling a dopey warmth flood through him. “God, I love him so much, Ben.”

“You tell him that?

“Of course I – “ Dean frowned, pausing. Now that he thought about it, Cas had said the actual words. Dean had said just about everything else you could without saying those three little words. His mouth dropped open. “Shit, Benny” he stared at Benny in horror.

“Don’t worry about it,” Benny said, patting Dean on the back and causing him to stagger. “Cas would have to be blind not to see it, and it’s all so new, still. I’m sure you’ll find the right time to tell him.”

Dean nodded absently, fiddling with the tape in his hands, already lost in thought.

Benny snorted and left. Dean took the rest of the afternoon to finish the mix tape, still thinking hard about the holiday and potential reactions from Cas. Dean still wasn’t sure how Cas stood on Valentine’s Day and hadn’t been able to sound him out without tipping him off, so he decided to hold onto the tape till the day of – not that it was far off, Dean had really cut it close.

Since, Valentines had fallen on a Wednesday this year, Dean had no time in the morning for grand gestures. _Probably for the best,_ Dean thought. Otherwise, he’d be tempted to go overboard. Whether Dean was a fan of Valentines or not, Cas deserved _all_ the gestures, all the _happiness_ Dean could give him, and he’d do it in a heartbeat.

Instead, Dean went to work and got drafted into a last-minute project that extended well past his usual clock out time. By the time he got home, he was mentally and physically exhausted and all he wanted to do was crawl into his boyfriends’ arms and cuddle with him.

So when he came back to an empty house, Dean’s spirits sank even lower. He trudged tiredly to their bedroom, only to find it equally as empty. Hungry, but with no energy or will to do anything about it, Dean dropped his bag in the corner where he wouldn’t trip on, then faceplanted on the bed – little things like clothes and shoes be damned.

But despite being on his bed and more than ready to fall asleep, Dean found himself suddenly unable.

Where had everyone else run off to? Were they all together, without him? The thought that he might have been left behind made him sick.

He halfheartedly dug into his pockets, hoping to come up with his phone. After several fumbling attempts, he managed to pull his phone out of his jeans and tap it on. Finding zero messages, however, made him frown and drop it down to the bed beside his head.

Groaning, Dean stood up, his head swimming. He actually felt so tired and drained that it almost felt like a hangover, but he wanted to see if Cas had left a note or any other indication of where he might have gone. Careful searching of the room revealed nothing, though and Dean found himself once more sitting n the bed, his phone in his hands.

He could call or text Cas, of course, but would that be seen as too needy?

As he worried at his lip, the apartment door opened and closed briefly – just long enough for one person to come in. Was it Cas? Dean stood and hurried to poke his head out of the room. Seconds later, he finally laid eyes on Cas for the first time all day, since Dean had left him sleeping peacefully, starfished all over the bed.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean said, weariness starting to drop away, at least a little, just from seeing his adorable boyfriend unwrapping the blue scarf from around his neck.

Cas paused, looking up and smiled. “Oh good, you’re home. I was starting to get worried I wouldn’t see you before bed. I figured you’d be hungry so I went out and got you some burgers from your favorite diner.”

“God, I love you,” Dean groaned, making his way to Cas in a few, quick strides and wrapping his arms around the slightly smaller man. Dean heard the small, pleased gasp Cas made and he nuzzled into Cas’s neck, feeling a little guilty that he hadn’t said the words earlier. It wasn’t like Dean didn’t mean them, because he did. But he’d always allowed his actions to speak for him instead of words.

He needed to do more than that. He could do that, for Cas, couldn’t he?

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled into Cas’s neck.

Cas shifted and then two hands, devoid of both scarf and burgers, engulfed Dean and he sank into Cas’s embrace. “What for?” Cas asked, slowly.

“For not telling you before. For not saying it back when you said it to me. I mean it, Cas, I do. I love you. I have for a long time now,” Dean whispered.

“Dean, Dean, it’s okay,” Cas whispered back, drawing away and reaching up to cup Dean’s face in his hands. Their gazes locked and Cas smiled. “I’m not mad, I promise. You may not have said the words –“ Cas’s thumb trailed over Dean’s jaw as he spoke, “But you go out of your way to show me all the time. I just wish I was as good as you were at showing you how much I love you.”

Dean huffed out a laugh. “Dude, what are you talking about? You totally do! Look, I’ve had the longest, most irritating day ever, and I’m tired and starving and lonely and here you are, like my own personal angel. I get to sleep in the same bed as you, where you’ll hold me like I’m the most precious thing in the world. And you went and got me food – my favorite – how is that not showing me how much you love me?”

Cas smiled and leaned forward to kiss Dean briefly. When he pulled back, he dropped his hands away to finish removing his coat and hang it up. “Why don’t you get changed, I’ll bring you your burgers and we can put on a movie and fall asleep watching it?”

“That sounds awesome, Cas,” Dean grinned. It didn’t take long for Cas to follow Dean and shuck off most of his own clothes, closing their door behind them. Dean looked up at him from the bed, a tired but happy smile on his face. “I put in the newest Star Trek movie, is that good for you?”

Cas hummed. “I think you’ve got something for Doctor McCoy,” he smirked.

Dean shrugged sheepishly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Cas.”

“Ah, yes, of course, I must be imagining things. The dark hair, scruffy face and light eyes…” Cas snarked.

“A little sarcastic, smart as hell – aren’t I just describing you?” Dean protested.

Cas climbed onto the bed while rolling his eyes and shimmying under the covers beside Dean, handing him the bag of burgers. Dean dropped the subject as he dug right into the food, Cas hitting play in the meantime. Mouth full, Dean froze, his eyes going wide.

“Oh crap, Cas!” He swallowed and put his food down, scrambling for the bedside table. “I almost forgot, I had something for you. I mean, being Valentines Day and all.” He turned and handed Cas a small, wrapped present. A look of panic crossed Cas’s face and Dean inwardly cursed. This was exactly what he’d been afraid of. Now he’d made Cas feel like shit for not having anything to give  _him_ , but Dean didn’t  _need_ anything.

“To be perfectly honest, I didn’t get this for you for Valentine’s Day,” Dean hastened to assure him, “the fact that it is, is a freaking coincidence. I hate the holiday. I don’t need to set a side one day of the year to show you how special you are – that’s something I should be doing every damn day, cause I’m so fucking grateful that I have you in my life and I know how lucky I am that you are.”

As Dean spoke, the look of panic on Cas’s face had subsided and, instead, Cas was now gazing at him in wonder. A fluttery feeling broke out in Dean’s stomach – a common occurrence where Cas was concerned.

“I hate how the holiday is rammed down our throats every year. For that reason and because,” Dean looked down with a gulp, “and because the last few years have been hell, because all it did was remind me of what I didn’t have, what I thought I could never have.”

“Me,” Cas said quietly, reverently.

“You,” Dean said just as quietly. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You _know_ that, right?” Dean asked anxiously, his fingers twitching together, wringing unconsciously until Cas laid his hands over Deans and stilled them, causing Dean to look down at his hands in surprise then back up at Cas.

“I do know. And you know the same is true for me, right?” He looked up at Dean through his lashes and Dean’s breath caught as he stared into those blue eyes he loved so much.

Blue had never been his favorite color – until he’d met Cas. He didn’t realize it immediately, of course. Not Dean Winchester, dense as fuck. But one day, he’d woke up and noted that all his art projects seemed to trend predominantly blue, that his wardrobe – whenever he bought new clothes – was edging that way too.

It had been red once, but he never even missed it when the red was taken over by blue.

He could stare into those eyes forever.

Cas seemed to be in agreement, since the silence stretched between them for several long moments; a small smile was caught on his face, the corners quirking up in that way of his Dean could feel his own smile blooming, reflecting Cas’s.

His heart felt full, just as it did every day, and he couldn’t hold back any longer. He leaned forward, pressing his mouth to Cas’s. The kiss they shared was slow and sweet, the sort of kiss Dean had gotten quickly addicted to.

It hadn’t taken long for Dean to get addicted to every type of kiss he and Cas had shared since Christmas. In fact, Dean had to admit he was addicted to  _everything_  about Cas, not just his kisses.

But then, that was nothing new. He’d been addicted to Cas for years.

The kisses were just the newest part of his addiction. Something he was finally allowed to partake in. it was a glorious feeling. They hadn’t taken it much further than kissing yet, maybe they never would, but Dean could swear that he could feel every ounce of love and care Cas had for him poured into the gentle, yet somehow soul touching, kisses.

Reluctantly, Dean pulled away. “Aren’t you gonna open it?”

Dazedly, Cas blinked at Dean, then looked down to see the present laying forgotten on the wrinkled blankets between them. He carefully picked it up, and tore it open. His eyes rose when he saw the tape, then his mouth dropped when he read it.

“Dean’s top 13 zepp Traxx” was emblazoned on one side, and on the other – Dean gulped as he saw tears gathering in Cas’s eyes when he flipped the cassette over to read “To my Angel – Love Dean”

The tears didn’t fall, but Dean had a lapful of Cas before he could say another word. The kisses were more heated now, but not any less full of feeling.

“See, this is what I mean, Dean,” Cas whispered. “You show me every day how much you love me. Words aren’t always necessary. And you’re right, we don’t need Valentines day to make each other feel special. To feel loved, because I already do.”

“Me too, Cas,” Dean smiled, bumping their heads together, his hands gripping Cas around his waist.

“Good. Now that that’s settled, hurry up and eat your food so we can cuddle,” Cas slid back off Dean’s lap and took the tape to place safely on his bookcase. He stared at it a moment, no doubt wheels turning in his head as he thought of how he’d play it. Dean already had a solution to that. Now that Cas had his surprise, Dean could take the tape deck he’d found and set it up in their room.

Cas padded back and slipped back under the covers. Dean made quick work of the burgers – hey, he was starving _and_ he had the added incentive of cuddling with Cas after he was done eating to look forward to– and soon, they lay intertwined, cocooned in thick, warm blankets with Dean’s head resting on Cas’s chest while Cas scratched his fingers through Dean’s hair.

They fell asleep like that, long before the movie was over, content in the simple moments being together now afforded them.

Life was good.

* * *

 

**BONUS SCENE**

“Dean, I thought you hated Valentine’s Day?” Cas tilted his head at his boyfriend and blinked when he heard Dean’s suggestion for the day after Valentines.

“I do, but Cas – the day after? Just _think_ of all the cheap chocolate at the store!” Dean’s eyes lit up, almost manically. “All those poor, lonely, overpriced pink packaged crap the stores have to get rid of to make room for the next piece of commercialism! Everything is on sale - we’d be fools to miss out on that!”

“It might be on sale, but everything is bound to be picked over, too,” Cas said dryly, a twinkle of amusement in his eye at Dean’s enthusiasm. “We’re not going to just get cheap chocolate, but the bad stuff too.”

“C’mon, Cas…” Dean wheedled.

“…Fine.” There was no way Cas could say no to something as harmless as this, especially if it made Dean happy.

“Yes!” Dean fist pumped the air in triumph and grinned.

Hours later, surrounded by empty chocolate wrappers with a hand over his stomach, Dean groaned happily while Cas looked at him in bemusement.

“Had enough yet?” Cas said pointedly, with a raised brow.

“Totally worth it,” Dean sighed contentedly.


	4. Easter Eggs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finds himself roped into coloring Easter eggs with his boyfriend, but he finds he really doesn't mind...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i'm putting this up a little early because by Thursday morning i'll have to be in Boston for a convention - which i'm staffing AND vending, and will have intermittent internet - and I don't want to miss Easter Morning.
> 
> So here you go!

“You need to talk to your bleeding heart of a boyfriend,” Meg said exasperatedly as she and Dean passed each other in the hall.

She said nothing else, leaving Dean staring after her, blinking. He shook his head and kept going past the other apartments till he reached the one he shared with Cas, Meg, Benny and Balthazar.

He opened the door and from his point of view, he only saw Benny on the couch with a beer, watching TV.

“So, uh, what was Meg going on about?” Dean asked. He dropped his bag by the door and kicked off his shoes.

Benny pointed his beer towards the kitchen, saying only, “See for yourself.”

Seeing as no one wanted to speak plain and simple English, Dean did.

He stood in the entry of the kitchen, noting how Cas was bustling about. There seemed to be at least a dozen empty egg cartons strewn about the counters – maybe more – and their 2 biggest pots were boiling on the stove. The oven was open and Cas was removing eggs from the rack with tongs, carefully placing each one in a bowl of water. There were several more of those too, nearly all filled with even more eggs.

“Cas,” Dean said slowly, still processing the scene he was taking in. “What’s going on?”

Cas looked up, beaming. “Dean! You’re home! Great – would you like to help?”

“If you tell me what’s going on…” Dean stepped in as Cas took the last egg out of the oven, placed it in the bowl and grabbed 2 fresh cartons from the fridge. In stunned disbelief, Dean watched as Cas placed each egg carefully on the naked oven rack.

“You know we can’t eat all these, right?” Dean asked, wincing slightly at the desperation tinging his voice.

Cas glanced up with a grin. “Don’t worry, they’re not for us. I’m helping one of the local shelters set up an Easter egg hunt for struggling families. I didn’t want to volunteer you, but I was hoping you would help.”

“That explains Meg’s comment,” Dean mused.

“Yeah, she thinks it’s a waste of time. But not only do the kids get the fun of the hunt and a little joy in their lives, but they get to keep whatever they find. Eggs are good protein, and a nice, easy snack when boiled like this.”

“They are that,” Dean conceded. “How did you even hear about this? How long have you been planning this?”

“Just today, actually, when I went down to JoAnne’s for some notions I desperately needed for my current project. I underestimated how much thread I would need in that turquoise color.” Cas frowned, then went on. “Anyway, there was a sign up down there, asking for volunteers to help make and hide eggs for the hunt tomorrow because they were woefully understaffed this year. I suppose that all of it being on a voluntary basis means it’s harder for them to get help. But Missouri said it’s never been this bad before. She looked close to panicking. Scrambling for ideas, they decided to canvas a couple of the arts and crafts style stores - guess they figured crafty people would totally be into it.”

“Well, guess they weren’t wrong,” Dean laughed. “So, you saw their desperation and decided to help? Put all that creativity of yours to work?”

Cas nodded. “That’s why I was hoping you’d be into helping me out. It’ll be more fun that way.”

“You saying we get to color eggs?” Dean grinned, catching Cas’s eye as he placed the last egg and shut the oven door.

“That’s what I’m saying. You in?” Cas asked, his eyes hopeful and twinkling.

Dean nodded and watched the ecstatic joy bloom on Cas’s face.  _ God he was adorable… _

Cas took a couple of steps to wrap his arms around Dean and give him a kiss. “Hmmm… welcome home.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re just using me for my artistic knowledge,” Dean laughed, kissing him back.

They stood there indulging themselves in a few deep kisses for several long moments before a throat cleared behind them.  They turned to find Benny waiting behind them.

“Not that it ain’t sweet an’ all, but I need to get past ya. Gonna grab another beer from the fridge and free up space for all these eggs. That’s my contribution because if you want these to look halfway decent, you don’t want me touchin’ these eggs,” Benny assured them.

“Aww… don’t be like that. Just do a couple, just for fun. If they’re no good, we’ll keep ‘em here and eat them,” Dean encouraged Benny.

Benny scrunched up his nose as he thought about it but finally nodded. “Alright, then, I suppose I will. I just got one question… why do half these eggs have brown spots on ‘em?”

Cas snorted and laughter rolled out of him. Dean watched in amusement as Cas tried to get himself back under control before answering Benny’s question.

“The ones with spots are the ones I cooked in the oven. That’s the freshest batch and they’re still cooling down, so I haven’t had a chance to rub the spots off yet.” Cas shrugged in Dean’s arms, making Dean shift with him. “It’s just something that happens when you bake them instead of boiling them.”

Benny narrowed his eyes and asked. “Alright, that raises another question. You’re supposed to boil ‘em. So why are you baking them?”

“It amounts to the same thing. And if you’re trying to make up a lot at once, it’s less time consuming to have more options,” Cas said, gesturing towards the stove. “Anyway, I’m almost done. Figured I’d wash off the last few eggs, let ‘em all cool off and take a break while they do for dinner. Then after dinner we can see if Balthazar wants to join us.”

“Pizza?” Dean perked up. “Something nice and easy while we have all this to deal with?”

“Sure. Benny?” Cas agreed readily, turning to their roommate.

“Yeah, that works for me. I’ll check with Balthazar.”

Soon enough, dinner was over, and the three of them were settled in at the newly cleaned off kitchen table, quite a few sets of mugs and bowls filled with dyes all ready to use. Balthazar had begged off due to prior engagements and Meg hadn’t yet come back.

“That’s all right, the more for us!” Dean grinned, brandishing a clear wax crayon. “Man, I can’t  _ remember  _ the last time I colored eggs. Probably back when Sammy was twelve.”

Cas hummed, dipping an egg into the green mix. “We never did Easter Eggs when I was growing up.”

Dean froze. “What? You’ve gotta be kidding me! That’s like, a staple of every kids’ childhood – no matter if you’re religious, believe in the Easter Bunny or, or…”

Shaking his head, Cas pulled his egg out of the green dye to check on it. “Dean,” Cas said chidingly, “I do not believe that’s true. Anyway, not in my family. Easter Bunnies and Easter Egg hunts had nothing to do with Jesus and therefore were considered heathen and not an appropriate way to celebrate the holiday.”

“Wait, Cas, is this the first time you’ve ever done this? Like, the  _ very  _ first time?” Dean continued to stare at Cas incredulously, the crayon in his hand poised over the egg.

Cas nodded, his cheeks turning pink.

“No wonder you were so enthusiastic for this, brother,” Benny said.

“I’ve wanted to do it for years but I always felt too… ridiculous to ask. I’m too old for things like this. But now, I get to help other people out, and that makes me feel good.” Cas reached forward to check the egg in the green dye again and blew out a breath as he put it back in.

“Okay, so we’ll just have to teach you all our tricks. Right, Benny?” Dean looked at Benny and Benny nodded.

“Sounds good to me,” he agreed.

They spent hours coloring – well, honestly, Dean wasn’t sure  _ how  _ many eggs they colored. He didn’t want to do the math, but when they were done, the fridge had eggs crammed into every available spot. It was a good thing the fridge had been mostly empty lately, with nobody having the time to make meals.

Actually, Dean wasn’t even sure  _ Cas  _ knew how many eggs there were. It was a never-ending barrage of white, slowly transforming into a rainbow. Benny and Dean patiently taught Cas the best tricks, though as an artist, he had his own ideas already. He was just impatient as hell for his first egg to be finished. And just right. Dean laughed when he figured out that Cas was trying to make a green that matched Dean’s eyes.

Dean retaliated by trying to find the perfect blue.

Benny just rolled his eyes.

They were at it so long that Meg and Balthazar came home and joined in long enough to do half a dozen each. Meg went as dark as she could, creating bloody eyeballs and other creepy looking things. Balthazar went dirty, of course, drawing a variety of dicks in differing patterns. They were actually quite pretty until you realized what the patterns were  _ made  _ out of.

Silently, Cas and Dean agreed that all of Balthazar’s eggs and most of Megs would not be seen by young, innocent eyes.

Thankfully, between the three of them, there were plenty of other eggs ready for such consumption. They had a wide variety of simple, one colored eggs in various hues, as well as two and three toned eggs. There were a few that had some neat little geometric designs or words drawn with the wax crayon Dean had appropriated first thing and reluctantly shared.

And a very small selection – comparatively, at least -  of eggs that were dyed first and then painted on directly. Things like cute little animals and geeky references - like Sauron’s eye and the TARDIS and symbols from Star Trek and Star Wars - and topped off with a few artistically splattered ones.

It was late when they finished coloring and sorting the eggs. Benny hit the hay first and, after cleanup, so did Dean and Cas.

They lay together in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms, content to bask in the warm contact. Dean kissed Cas softly.

Cas smiled at Dean, murmuring, “Thank you for all the help.”

“No problem, babe. You did good.” Dean squeezed Cas tight.

Humming, Cas shook his head. “No, we all did. You want to help us hide the eggs tomorrow?”

“I’ll do one better,” Dean said. “I’ll help with the eggs, but I’ll bring my camera too. The instant one. I recently stocked up on photo paper for another project, so it winds up being perfect. I thought it might be nice to give the families pictures of their kids with their baskets.”

Beaming, Cas surged forward and kissed Dean. “You’re the best.”

“I know,” Dean agreed, chuckling when Cas raised his eyebrow.

“You  _ know? _ Are you Han Soloing me?”

“Hey, if it works,” Dean said with a shrug. He couldn’t hold back the smile as Cas continued to mock glare at him. “Seriously, though… I’m glad we did this. We should do this every year.”

Trading lazy kisses, the two of them finally fell asleep, content with the knowledge of all the fun they had to look forward to the next day.

The turnout was massive. It had taken  _ forever _ to hide all the eggs. There were dozens of volunteers who did, and it was almost not enough to get everything hidden in time. Cas’s eggs weren’t the only ones there, but they were the most numerous. It was clear that some batches were made with an inexpert hand, but the love on them was also clear.

When the families arrived, each child was handed a basket with a chocolate bunny and told to keep going till it was full. Cas helped some of the youngest ones find eggs while Dean wandered about snapping photos as promised.

All in all, the day passed pleasantly. The weather was actually mild for once instead of going haywire like it had been all winter, and the kids were all able to look their best without their winter coats on. Families followed their children around, watching them proudly and Dean did his best to make sure that no family left without at least one photo.

In the end, as good as it was, Cas and Dean were exhausted. They and the few other volunteers did one last sweep to make sure every egg had been found and was accounted for and then split up to go to their respective homes.

But not before the organizer of the event had cornered Cas and Dean.

“Most people just donate and that’s that. And we understand that. People have their own families and kids to take care of, and the donations are very much appreciated. There’s so many things we wouldn’t be able to do for these families without the help of all our generous donors.” Missouri paused, “But I want to give the two of you an extra special thanks for all of your help and the level of participation. You didn’t need to do that, and it wasn’t anything we were expecting, but I can tell you, it went a long ways towards making these children’s days and I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Missouri passed them a business card. “Anytime you have a spare moment, please consider helping out again. We’ll always be happy to have you.”

Dean and Cas exchanged looks, their faces breaking out in smiles before turning back to face Missouri. “I believe we will,” Cas said happily. “It felt good to be able to give back something to people who could use it. In whatever small ways we can help to make a life easier, I don’t mind doing it.”

He passed over his own business card. “Please, if you ever find yourself short on help, don’t hesitate to call. Even if we’re busy, I’m sure one or both of us will be able to work something out to help,” Cas insisted. “

“You two are literal angels, aren’t ya? Come down straight from Heaven,” she said, her face breaking with her own grin.

“I don’t know about straight,” Dean tried not to crack and smile, “But Cas here actually  _ is  _ named after an angel.”

“Well then, if that isn’t a sign from on high, then I don’t know what is.” She shook her head bemusedly. “But you boys should run on home now and get some rest, spend the rest of the holiday in each other’s company.”

Dean took Cas’s hand in his and squeeze, getting an answering squeeze back. “I think we will. Maybe some take out and a movie while we cuddle.”

“I thought the great Winchester didn’t cuddle?”

“I do very much cuddle. With the right person.”

“And I’m that person?” Cas asked softly.

“You are,” Dean answered.

“On with you! You two are going to give me cavities just watching you. Now git!” Missouri shooed them off.

Laughing, Dean and Cas took their leave, climbing into the Impala together.

It’d been a good day. All the little joys and wonders they’d witnessed over the course of the afternoon had been completely worth it.

Every damn second.

Dean couldn’t be prouder of his boyfriend, he was sure. Who else did he know that could be that kind and selfless for others?

If he hadn’t already fallen so hopelessly in love, Dean was positive this moment would have done so all on its own.

 


	5. Sparklers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fourth of July brings Dean feelings of melancholy, apparently, so Cas resolves to turn it around and give his boyfriend a nice little surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! Another installment of this story! I hope you like it!
> 
> I have no idea how many holidays I'll actually hit, but here's another one. Remember to subscribe to the story because i MIGHT add more chapters. 
> 
> Also, that gif at the end? Okay, so thats about 13.5 hours of work. It's probably not my best 'linework', and it's only 3 frames of actual movement (the rest is my standard pick something and avae it 'fade in and out' technique) but this whole thing was an experiment to see IF I could do it.
> 
> So...I've learned that I can...and that my computer hates me for trying. So i have NO IDEA how often I'll actually attempt this.... but I am SUPER duper proud of it.

Dean was… Cas wouldn’t exactly call it moping, but he was certainly in a down mood. They’d been dating now for 6 months and Dean had his ups and downs, but this felt a little different. All Cas was certain of, was it wasn’t about ‘them.’

He was trying to hide it, but Cas knew the signs. After all, they’d been best friends for years before they finally figured out that they were both pining for the other. Dean was, in fact, one of the few people he knew best.

And Dean was… okay, Dean was moping.

He wasn’t as enthusiastic about his usual things and seemed to just want to cuddle close to Cas whenever he had the opportunity (not that Cas minded the closeness, honestly).He didn’t hang out with the rest of their roommates so much either. If Cas was working on something, Dean worked on something nearby.

Which was all well and good, and Cas certainly enjoyed their time together and the company. But Dean was also quieter than usual, in that way that meant he was holding something in. What Cas couldn’t figure out, was what.

Until Sam emailed him one day, a week before the Fourth of July.

_ >>Cas, _

_ I hope Dean hasn’t been to much of a bear to deal with ever since I broke the news that I wouldn’t be coming out to visit this summer for our annual fireworks. He said it was fine but, you know how he gets. _

_ It’s just that I can’t get away right now. I’ve got an important internship going on and the only days off I’m getting wouldn’t give me much time to get out there and get back and have any sort of fun. _

_ Also, I kind of met this girl and she invited me to watch the fireworks with her family. I haven’t told Dean that part yet. You know how he’d tease. _

_ Let me know if you need me to talk to him. I hope you guys have a blast! _

_ \- Sam _

_ Ah, now that explains everything, _ Cas realized. The Winchester brothers had a yearly tradition, ever since Sam was 13 and their Dad had skipped town on them. it had almost wound up with the two of them in the hospital, but still, a tradition had been started.

Dean hadn’t seen his brother for almost two years now, which made this the second fourth of July in a row they’d missed. The fourth of July had been the only holiday tradition the brothers had kept  _ together _ and, well, now they weren’t.

No wonder Dean was moping.

Now what could Cas do about that?

It was obvious that Dean didn’t want to make a big deal about it. Fireworks hadn’t once been brought up, nor had the holiday itself. Dean was, as usual, the sort to keep things in. Holding back his problems so they didn’t inconvenience anyone else.

He deserved better than that. Cas minimized his email and opened a new window, one he could hide easily if Dean got home from work early. Time to do some research.

It didn’t take long to figure out where the closest fireworks were. What the hardest part was, however, was figuring out the best way to view them. They would be set off inside a stadium, but Cas didn’t like the idea of being surrounded by so many strangers in those uncomfortable seats. The fact that they would have to kill  _ hours _ if they wanted to be there and get decent ones, and then they’d be stuck in the crush afterwards.

Someone else said the park had a good view, but since Cas was so new to the area, they couldn’t explain sufficiently what  _ part  _ of the park was the best view, only that it was a small section and it got filled up early since people would hold all day parties there.

Thankfully, it was a ticketless event. In fact, as Cas asked around, he discovered there was a spot behind the stadium that was considered to be ideal. As the fourth approached, he set up a backpack, first making sure Dean was free – of course he was – but otherwise didn’t tell Dean what the plan was.

Cas’s devious smile and secret plans seemed to do wonders for dean’s mood, the mystery proving too much for his melancholy and disappointment to override as he tried to figure out just what Cas was planning.

Around middle afternoon of the fourth, Cas grabbed his backpack and handed a second one to the perplexed but also excited Dean.

Shouldering the backpacks, the two of them fell into an easy step with each other, Dean wheedling the entire way.

“So what’s the plan, Cas? Why’s it so secret you can’t tell me? I mean, we’re literally on our way to wherever It is we’re going!”

Cas chuckled. “I might have already told you, but it’s been too much fun seeing you try to work it out on your own.”

“Oh, you sick bastard,” Dean grinned. “So devious too.”

Dean leaned over to soften his words with a kiss. When he pulled back, Cas was pleased to find their hands clasping, their fingers threading together, the feeling buoying his heart and his steps.

It was a healthy 45 minute walk as they strolled at an absolutely leisurely pace. They probably could easily have cut the time down by half, but the weather was perfect for summer and the walk had them feeling good.

Eventually, they reached the stadium and Dean perked up. But when Cas turned down a side street, tugging Dean along with him, Dean turned to him in confusion.

“Cas?” he asked uncertainly.

“Trust me, Dean,” Cas smiled at him.

The side street walked them around the stadium, past a public pool neither had ever known was there, and past a playground to another turn that left them at a nearly empty field with a copse of trees on the far end of it.

Cas looked about critically, then pointed. “How about there?”

“So, fireworks?” Dean asked excitedly, looking so like a child in his happiness.

“Yes, Dean. I figured we’d be more comfortable here and could sort of turn it into a day.” Cas looked down at their hands before shyly looking up again. “I even packed a picnic lunch and some sparklers and a few other things.”

Cas held his breath, hoping Dean didn’t think it lame or unmanly. He didn’t think Dean  _ would _ react that way at all. The things his father had tried to instill in Dean in that regard had never quite taken and with Cas and Benny’s help – Charlie and a few other college friends as well – they’d long since helped Dean move past that way of thinking.

But when it was something you were taught, things like that could sometimes rear its ugly head and take you by surprise.

Dean’s lovesick grin dispelled any worry Cas had.

“What are we waiting for then?” Dean said, pulling Cas along to the place he’d pointed at.

Soon, they had a blanket spread on the ground and Cas was pulling out the picnic lunch he’d packed: A half dozen sandwiches of 3 varieties, fruit and chips, water and sodas and – the coup de grace (which he did not reveal till the two of them were pretty much stuffed) – pecan pie.

“Oh, unfair,” Dean complained from his place on the ground, his hand resting over his stomach as he lay on his back. “Dangling pie in front of me when I can’t even eat it?”

“We’ll be here a bit,” Cas said. “I think you have time to digest.”

“Ugh, fine. I suppose,” Dean conceded. “Glad we don’t have to move. I’m so stuffed, I’d have to be rolled home.”

Cas chuckled. “That would indeed be a sight. Dean Winchester, human boulder.”

“Shut up,” Dean laughed, scooting over closer to Cas. “And come down here, will ya?”

With a smile, Cas did just that, laying down beside Dean and resting his head gently on Dean’s shoulder, careful not to place pressure on his stomach.

They drowsed contentedly, basking in the warm sun, the sounds of chatter and laughter soothing them as the light slowly faded away and the field started filling up with families and other couples.

Cas noted more couples like them gathering in the same general vicinity and felt safer about his open affection for Dean.

Not that it was something he would ever be shamed into not expressing, just because others were uncomfortable with the  idea of same sex couples doing things as simple as hugging or even holding hands – not to mention kissing (heaven forbid!).

Eventually, Dean grew restless enough to jostle Cas as he sat up, digging through the backpack.

“So, what other goodies did you hide away in here – aha!” Dean laughed, throwing his head back. “Oh my god! You really  _ did  _ get sparklers!” he said gleefully, pulling out the big box of giant sparklers.

“Of course I did. I’d never lie about sparklers,” Cas grinned, sitting up and pulling out the lighter he’d kept in his pocket.

They lit 2 of the sparklers and grinned at each other as they held the sparkling white sticks. Cas swirled the sparkler about, trying to make the after image of a heart. Dean’s chuckle had him look over to find all of Dean’s attention on Cas.

“God, I love you, babe,” Dean said softly, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss on Cas’s lips.

Cas was mesmerized by the flickering lights dancing in Deans eyes and kissed him back, a little deeper, but broke it off quickly to duck his head against Dean’s shoulder. An arm wrapped around Cas to hold him close as they sat and watched the giant sparklers spit and burn down.

It was a special moment, broken only by a family that approached them tentatively after their sparklers died down. Two men, with a little girl dragging them eagerly along, all of them smiling.

“Could we join you?” one of the men asked. He had an accent Cas couldn’t identify but it was pleasant.

Dean nodded. “Of course, man. I’m Dean, this is Cas.”

“I’m Cesar, that’s Jesse and this,” they both looked down with adoring smiles, Dean and Cas following their gaze, “Is our daughter Tina.”

“Hi!” she let go to wave, her smile turning hopeful. “Do you have more sparklers?”

“Tina!” Jesse hissed. Cesar laughed, settling down on the ground and pulling his little girl into his lap.

Cas grinned. “Sure, we’ve got plenty, if that’s okay with your dads.”

Tina looked up at Cesar first, then Jesse. “Please?” she begged. Cas watched the two men melt under her eyes and before either of them could say the yes hovering about their lips, he pulled out 5 new sparklers and a second lighter. Between them, Cas and Dean got them all lit, handing out one to each of them, then keeping the final two.

The little girl was ecstatic, as Cesar helped guide her little hands

It was then that Cas noticed the camera hanging around Jesse’s neck, as he took a million pictures of his little girl and his husband playing with the sparklers after handing his back to Cas. Seeing his intent, Cas had been happy to hold on to it while Jesse was busy.

They talked as they watched the sparkling wands in their hands.

“So, how long have you two been together?” Cesar asked.

“Only 6 months,” Dean said. “But we’ve known each other for 5 years. You?”

Jesse lowered his camera to stare adoringly at Cesar and Cesar smiled back. Cas had a feeling if Cesar hadn’t had a lapful of excited little girl and dangerous sparks, he’d have kissed Jesse. “Nearly 12 years now. We’ve had Tina for 6.”

“And we couldn’t be happier,” Cesar said.

Eventually, the sparklers died out and Dean mentioned the pie, surprising Cas at how willing he was to share it. After much thanking for being included, they all ate, Cas glancing at his watch to see how much longer before the fireworks were to start. Only twenty more minutes.

When the pie was done and Cas finished cleaning up the leftovers with Dean’s help, Cesar keeping Tina occupied, Jesse picked up his camera to look at the pictures he took. He bumped shoulders with Cesar and occasionally showed what Cas assumed to be a particularly good picture, Cesar’s wide, adoring grin bearing much proof of that.

Cas wondered if Dean and he would ever want kids **.** It wasn’t something he’d ever thought of before but Tina was entrancing, and watching the way her dads were with her, how besotted they were, was inspiring.

He leaned into Dean and Dean kissed is temple softly then started manhandling him about.

Laughing, Cas asked. “Dean, what are you doing?”

“C’mon, man, sit here with me,” Dean implored. Soon enough, with their backpacks at Dean’s back for support, Cas was sitting comfortably between Dean’s legs with his back to Dean’s chest and Dean’s arms wrapped around him.

Murmuring, Cas said, “I brought you out here for  _ you,  _ Dean, and now it feels like you’re taking care of me.”

Dean nuzzled into Cas’s neck and whispered “We take care of each other, Cas,”

Cas hummed happily and relaxed back into Dean’s arms.

A throat clearing beside them had them both looking over at the family that had joined them. Cesar’s attention was still on Tina, who was starting to get a little sleepy, but Jesse’s nervous gaze was on them.

“So,  I hope you don’t find this creepy. But I’m a professional photographer. I prefer to capture candid in the moment photos and that's part of why we made our way over here. I captured a beautiful one of the two of you and I wanted to give you my card and offer you a copy, and make sure you were okay with it.”

Jesse held out his expensive looking camera and Cas and Dean both leaned over to see the photo.

Cas gasped, a hand involuntarily reaching for the camera before pulling back. He wouldn’t just let  _ anyone _ touch his expensive sewing machine. It was his livelihood. So he had no intention of touching Jesse's camera.

But the picture was  _ gorgeous _ . With sparklers held before them, Dean and Cas’s heads resting against each other with content smiles –

And then the picture changed and Cas gasped again. This time, it was the moment just before that, when he and Dean had kissed. It was even more beautiful than the last, tough they were both gorgeous snaps of precious moments in time. Cas’s chest tightened with emotions and he had to clear his throat to speak.

“Jesse, these are gorgeous. We’d love to have copies of them,” Cas managed to get out. Dean nodded vigorously against Cas’s head.

“You certainly do have a gift,” Dean agreed.

Jesse relaxed and dug into his pocket, coming up with a business card. Cas took it eagerly and pulled his phone out, programming the card into his phone to make sure they didn’t lose it.

Just as he finished, the first crack and boom sounded, light exploding over their heads.

Everyone turned toward the woods and the fireworks, settling in to enjoy the show. And what a show it was. Tina squealed and clapped at each burst of color above the trees, her childlike glee infectious.

Jesse leaned over so he could be heard, “This is a much better spot then inside the stadium. We did that last year. We’re actually a lot closer to the fireworks than we were there, and it’s much more relaxed out here as well.”

“Well, we’re new to the area ourselves, so this is our first time, but I’m glad to see Cas made the right choice,” Dean said back, tightening his embrace around Cas.

“I’m glad you’re happy, Dean,” Cas said, twisting around briefly to look at him with a grin.

“I really am, babe,” Dean said softly.

With the fireworks bursting above them, neither of them noticed the clicking shutter of Jesse’s camera as they closed the short distance between their lips.

Soon enough, though, they broke the kiss to continue watching the fireworks. It was a show like no other for Cas, and he hoped the same could be said for Dean. He was briefly afraid, once he saw how the trees partially blocked the fireworks, that Dean would be disappointed, but Cas quickly saw how enamored Dean was. The silhouette of the trees against the lower explosions with bits of color shining through here and there, covering the area in an eerie, otherworldly smoke - it was just so beautiful and so inspirational to his artistic eye, and Cas couldn’t help but wonder if Dean felt the same way.

_ I wonder if Jesse is getting any good photos of this? _ Cas looked over at Jesse and Cesar during a lull and laughed when he saw Tina asleep in Cesar’s arms. Dean followed his gaze and joined in, shaking Cas with his laughter.

Cesar and Jesse grinned back.

“Never underestimate the ability of a child to fall asleep literally anywhere and through anything,” Cesar said. “Take it from me. I teach elementary school, so I’ve got a lot of experience.”

“I bet,” Dean chortled. Another burst of light drew all their attentions forward again and Cas forgot about everything else as he craned his head upwards to watch the beauty unfolding above them.

“This is so much better than the shows I tried to put on for Sammy,” Dean murmured in Cas’s ear.

“That's probably because all the good fireworks are illegal in New York,” Cas shifted back so Dean could hear him too.

“Only if you’re a common citizen,” Dean protested. 

Cas twisted to allow Dean to see the raised eyebrow and skeptical look and Dean had the good graces to look sheepish. 

“Okay, yeah, we had to smuggle in  _ all  _ our fireworks and we definitely never got our hands on the good stuff… probably best that way, to be honest,” Dean relented.

“Yes, I rather like having you completely intact,” Cas smiled, turning and settling once more against Dean just in time to catch another burst of light - this time accompanied with a crackling sound. Those were probably Cas’s favorite type of firework, because they almost looked like giant sparklers.

Soon enough, though, the show drew to a close. After a large 2 or 3 minute volley that seemed to include every type of firework imaginable, Cas could hear cheering in the distance after the last light faded away.

“I think that was it,” Cas said. He looked around to note that more than one group was starting to stand up and pack away their things.

“Looks like,” Dean agreed. Standing and bringing Cas to his feet along with him, Dean turned Cas around to face him. He leaned his head down to bump against Cas’s, their arms wrapping around each other, and whispered, “I think it’s safe to say, that we’re doing this again next year. I had  _ a lot _ of fun. Thanks, Cas.”

“Of course, Dean,” Cas answered happily.

  


  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ A small video of how cool the effects of watching fireworks through the trees are](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5CP1GLdrYQ)
> 
>  
> 
> So this fic is inspired by that video, which i took at my own local stadium. i've now gone three year - once inide, twice in the field behind it. The field is infinitely more fun and more beautiful if you ask me.


	6. Trick or Treating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas's friends are horrified to find out that he's never had a Trick or Treat experience in his life. But there isn't exactly anything that can be done about it. What's past is past and he's too old to go Trick or Treating...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of influences on it. Dean and Cas's costumes were inspired by Dmsilvis over 10 months ago. I've been waiting ever since.
> 
> The rest is spoilers...

Cas woke to loud, frustrated voices and groaned. He rolled over and found the bed empty. Frowning, he sat up.

Now that he was paying a little more attention, one of those voices was Dean. Dragging himself out of bed, he padded sluggishly to the door and opened it, finding his half naked boyfriend standing in the hall, arguing with Balthazar.

“-couldn’t have used your  _own_ tub? Some of us need to shower!” Dean growled.

“Meg wouldn’t let me,” Balthazar said with a shrug, completely unconcerned.

That didn’t like it boded well. Anything Meg didn’t want to deal with usually meant it was something the rest of them didn’t want to deal with.

“What’s going on that you both felt it necessary to wake me at this ungodly hour?” Cas gritted out.

“Dude,” Dean turned with a chuckle, his face melting into a lovesick grin that nevertheless made Cas’s insides squirm happily. “It’s like, noon already.”

Balthazar snorted and slipped away as soon as Dean’s eyes were off him. They kissed good morning, Cas leaning into it before he pulled away and attempted to level his stern gaze on Dean once more.

“Dean. What’s going on?”

“Balthazar’s decided to make Dragon’s Blood in our bathtub,” Dean said, running his fingers through his hair with a sigh.

“Dragon’s Blood?” Cas asked, blinking in confusion.

“Thematically appropriate alcohol!” Balthazar yelled.

He blinked again. He wasn’t awake enough for this. “Making alcohol in the bathroom? That’s unsanitary!” Cas managed, his eyes popping wide in horror as the words started making sense in his head.

“Well, okay, it isn’t  _actually_ in the tub. It’s in one of those giant coolers with a spigot. But same diff!” Dean shot over his shoulder.

“Well... if it’s in a cooler, why don’t you just move it?”

“It ain’t that easy, Cas. Here, you need to look for yourself,” Dean said, holding the bathroom door open for him.

Cas peeked around Dean’s body (he may, in fact, be using Dean as a way to stay standing) only to find that Dean was, of course, right. It wasn’t that easy. Balthazar had filled the entire tub with ice because – Cas walked over and lifted the lid of the cooler to find some sort of pale red liquid with fruit floating around in it – the entire cooler was being used to make the Dragons Blood.

He let the lid drop and turned to Dean. “If they’ve taken over our bathroom, then they can’t object to us taking over theirs,” he said slowly.

A grin formed on Dean’s face. “Meet me in there in five? I’ll go stake it out while you get the things you need.”

“Oh no! Meg would have my head if you two share our shower!” Balthazar sputtered from the hallway.

“Deal with it, Bal,” Cas said, squeezing past him and back into the hall. He jerked his hand over his shoulder to point at the tub. “Should have thought of that before you took over communal property without talking to anybody first.”

Dean followed him, shooting Balthazar a smug grin. “I believe my boyfriend has spoken. Now shoo! I think you have Halloween prep to do.”

Balthazar stalked off, muttering, but Cas couldn’t bring himself to care. Balthazar had only brought it on himself, and if Meg had the right to be mad at anyone for using her bathroom, it should come down to Balthazar.

The rest of the day was taken up by the Halloween prep, Balthazar not being the only one with responsibilities for it. Like New Years, they had planned for a party with several of their college friends invited to come by, as well as the new friends they’d made after moving here. It was a costume party, of course, and Dean had talked Cas into a couples costume, though they wouldn’t get dressed for a while.

People started arriving in the early afternoon, everyone pitching in to help set up – though mostly, set up was food, food, food and even more food. Not that that was a bad thing, but Cas was sure they’d be swimming in leftovers for a while.

Also not a bad thing.

Dean was hard put not to touch the gigantic bowl of candy they’d set out for trick or treaters.

“Is that even something people  _do_ in an apartment complex?” Cas wondered as he continued stirring a pot of… something... under Dean’s guidance.

“What?” Dean asked absently. He turned down the heat on the stove and nodded at Cas. “Okay, just cover that now and let it simmer.”

“Dean,” Cas said, trying to get Dean’s mind off the food.

“Hmm… I don’t actually know. Few times we went trick or treating we always went out into the neighborhood. Dad tended not to get apartments – at least, not in the nice places. Someone’s basement maybe, or even a motel or two. Got nothin’ for ya.”

“Some places do, and some don’t,” Charlie said, popping right up under their noses.

“Charlie! When’d you get here?” Dean exclaimed, lifting her into a bear hug.

She laughed and returned the hug, then punched his arm till he let go, turning to embrace Cas. He smiled at their mutual friend and returned the hug eagerly. They hadn’t seen each other in a while, though they talked online often enough.

“Just now, bitches,” she said as she stepped back. “I’m bringing my A game tonight! What are you guys dressing as?”

Cas opened his mouth to reply but Dean beat him to it.

“That’s a secret!”

“Awww,” Charlie said, pouting.

“Yeah, they won’t tell any of us either, Char,” Benny drawled. He didn’t push into the kitchen, for which Cas was grateful. It was already overly crowded with the three of them. At least he didn’t mind it when Dean was the one brushing past him, or standing in close.

“So who else is coming to this shindig anyway?” Jo said, joining Benny at the kitchen entrance.

“Well, you two, obviously. Garth and Ash. Victor couldn’t make it. All of us here too. We invited Jesse and Cesar but they won’t be here till Tina’s done Trick or Treating. Pamela – you guys’ll like her, she runs a tattoo parlor down on West Pearl, and Aaron’ll be by too. He’s the guy that joins in when we play online,” Dean answered.

“Oh man, then that means we won’t see Jesse or Cesar or the little munchkin till, like, super late. I always stayed out till past 10 when I went out trick or treating,” Charlie said, reaching into the kitchen to grab a bag of chips.

“Char!” Dean protested. “That’s for tonight!”

“I’m hungry now!” she pouted again.

“Can we move out of the kitchen?” Cas asked with a sigh.

“Yeah, we can do that, babe,” Dean agreed. “Anyway, this place puts a 2 time limit on Trick or Treating. You can only go between the hours of 5 and 7 so they’ll be here for the after they’re done. We figured we could help Tina sort her candy and maybe offer her some trades.”

“is that a normal tradition?” Cas asked as they all moved to congregate in the living room, joining Garth and Ash – they’d apparently arrived at the same time as Jo and Charlie and had opted to wait to greet everyone when they  _weren’t_ in the kitchen. Smart move. Cas definitely approved. That kitchen was the one part of this apartment he hated. He was afraid he would develop claustrophobia from it.

“Um, yeah,” Charlie said, looking at Cas with wide eyes. “I mean, the sort and trade part, anyway. Not the restricted hours thing. Never heard of  _that_ before. Don’t you remember any of this stuff from when  _you_ were a kid?”

 “If there was one holiday my mother hated more than Easter, it was Halloween. She saw no redeeming qualities in it,” Cas said. He wasn’t bitter, just stating a fact he’d long since gotten used to. Wistful, maybe, for the shared child experiences he’d lost out on, but the past was past. There was no use dwelling on an impossibility. Right?

“So, like, you didn’t ever do  _anything_ for Halloween?” Garth asked.

“No. We used to get trick or treaters, but mom passed out pamphlets instead of candy. They started avoiding us after that. But I used to sit in my room and stare out the window and watch them. I didn’t care all that much about the candy, but the fact that everyone seemed to go out together and dress up and have fun.”

“What? Cas, seriously? Oh my god!” Charlie gasped. “That’s… that’s so tragic. Winchester!!”  Charlie looked at Dean with quivering lips. “It’s so… so tragic!” she repeated, as if Dean hadn’t been standing right there.

“Yeah, I know.”

“What do you mean you know?” Charlie’s eyes narrowed at Dean. “What are you going to do about it?”

“Charlie, I’ve known since college. And what do YOU want me to do about it? We’re all a little old for trick or treating, if you haven’t noticed. Not even Garth can pass as young enough!”

“I can’t turn back time. I don’t have a police box or a DeLorean or a time turner or any of that shit. I can’t make it magically better for him.”

“Wait, so you never tp’d or egged someone’s house?”

“Why would I even  _do_ something like that?” Cas asked, horrified.

“You don’t do it to everybody, just the people who deserve it. That’s what the trick in trick OR treat is for.”

Balthazar nodded. “Like my religions professor. Pompous dick.”

Cas exchanged disbelieving looks with a few of the others, and could hear Dean trying to restrain a snort at Balthazar’s declaration.

“All right. Which of you chuckleheads dyed my bathroom blue?” Meg growled, stomping back into the living room. Everyone laughed as Meg inspected everyone to find the culprit with narrowed eyes.

They were embroiled in a game of Mario Kart when Dean’s phone went off. Charlie laughed as he fell of Rainbow Road and he scowled as Cas paused the game.

“Yo!” Dean answered brusquely, shouldering the phone and gesturing for the game to continue. Then he straightened and dropped the controller, holding the phone properly. “Wait, what’s up? Yeah, yeah, I can do that. Don’t worry about it, man.”

Pausing the game once more, Cas stared at Dean with concern. “Uh huh, yeah I know where that is. I’m new to the area but not  _that_ new. Uh huh… no don’t worry about it, its not a problem at all. Yeup, I’ll see you later.”

He hung up and tossed the controller at Benny “I’m out.”

“Dean? What’s wrong?”

“Gotta go pick up Tina – Kindergarten lets out in 15 minutes and Jesse’s a wreck cause Cesar landed himself in the hospital,” Dean said, standing and walking away from the group, Cas following with.

“Oh god, is he okay?”

“I mean, I guess? Turns out he has Pneumonia, but that’s pretty treatable if you catch it.” Dean shrugged, ducking into their room.

“Wait, wasn’t he saying earlier in the week he was feeling a little under the weather?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, guess it turned out to be worse than he thought. Man, I thought if anyone resisted getting checkups that much it would have been Jesse, not Cesar,” Dean said. “I guess he realized something was wrong when he was chasing the kids around at school today and he keeled over cause he couldn’t breathe. Had to send a kid to get another teacher and they ran him an ambulance. Scared the shit out of Jesse.”

“He told you that?” Cas asked, grabbing socks and sitting down alongside Dean as his boyfriend yanked on his boots.

“Well, not in so many words. But you could hear it in his voice,” Dean said quietly, pausing to stare at Cas. “Promise me never to do anything like that, okay?”

“I’ll do my best, Dean,” Cas replied seriously. He shoved his feet into his sneakers, not bothering to tie the laces. “All right, let’s go get Tina.”

*******

“Mr. Dean! Mr. Cas!” Tina squealed when they arrived. They’d missed the actual pick up time by a couple of minutes, meaning that all the other parents had come and gone. It was probably for the best since Jesse and Cesar needed to vet Dean and Cas and if that hadn’t happened yet, there was no way the school would let Dean or Cas pick up their kid.

“Are you Mr. Winchester and Mr. Novak?” the teacher escorting Tina asked, Tina pulling at her hand to greet Dean and Cas.

“Yeah,” Dean answered, taking out his wallet and handing it over. The teacher looked at it critically, handed it back then raised an eyebrow over at Cas who quickly did the same.

She nodded, relieved. “This is very unorthodox. Normally, we’d like to have something like this in writing, but the Cuevas  _did_ call and specifically say that the two of you were allowed to pick Tina up and it’s very obvious she knows the both of you. Please tell Mr. Cuevas that I hope he’s feeling better.”

“Of course,” Cas answered while Dean reached for Tina’s hand. The teacher let go and Tina eagerly slipped her small hand into Dean’s and as was usual, Cas felt his heart melt at the sight of Dean with the little girl.

“Thank you,” Dean said as they turned to walk away, Tina reaching up with her other hand to take Cas’s. She was smiling and babbling happily, apparently completely unconcerned about the change in pick up. It was nice weather out, so her jacket was sticking out of her backpack and she skipped along between them in some strange yellow and black outfit. It looked like a superhero outfit but Cas had no clue what it was from.

“So, Tina, what are you dressed as?” Cas finally asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“I’m the Energizer!” she exclaimed.

Castiel blinked and shared a confused look with Dean. “I thought the energizer was a pink bunny in those battery commercials?”

“Not  _that_ Energizer, silly!” she said, not offended in the least. “Katie Power, from Power Pack! She’s a superhero and she’s my age and daddy said I’m the spittin’ image of her.” She swung her head back and forth, and two braids swung with it.

“Oh! I’ve never heard of her. You’ll have to tell me all about her,” Cas said, Dean nodding with him.

“Yeah, I love superheroes. Though my favorite is batman.” Dean said.

“Are you gonna dress up as Batman tonight?” she asked.

“Ah, no, me and Cas planned for a different costume tonight,” Dean answered, letting go of her hand to tuck her into the car. As he did, Cas realized what they were missing and he sincerely hoped nobody noticed that they  _didn’t_ have a car seat for her.

They settled in, Tina’s backpack sitting beside her as she proceeded to tell them all about Katie Power and the Power Pack. Dean put the car into motion, both he and Cas listening intently. They drove back to the apartment first. The plan was to keep Tina there until Jesse or Cesar called to say he’d been settled in. then they’d bring her down to the hospital. Neither of her dads wanted to keep her in the dark, but they didn’t want to scare her (or bore her) either.

Tina, at least, didn’t question a thing. She’d been to the apartment a few times with her dads before and was comfortable with pretty much everyone there. Even Meg and Balthazar were on their best behavior around the little girl. Cas had worried the two friends would resent having to watch themselves around a child, but had been relieved to discover that his worry was unfounded. Tina, apparently, charmed everyone she met.

Meg softened up a little, taking Tina under her wing - though she was still her usual snarky self - and Balthazar toning down his language while she was around but played up his accent horrendously to get her to giggle and imitate him.

It was amazing to see.

They opened the door and Tina bounded right in, not in the least bit shy, though she stopped a little short when she noticed how crowded it was. She gave a small wave and smiled, then gasped and bounced forward again.

“Oooh! Mario Kart! Can I play?”

Charlie grinned at her. “Sure kid. As soon as we finish the race, the one in last place will give you his controller.”

“Awesome!” Tina said, plopping down on the floor just before the television. Charlie blinked and did a double take, her Mario Kart character falling off the side of a cliff.

“Uh, Charlie?” Dean said, pointing at the screen. Charlie ignored them, the race continuing on with out her as Jo, Benny and Garth all grinned with malicious glee at her distraction. Charlie was hard to beat, and they were taking full advantage of it.

“Wait, are you the Energizer?” Charlie asked.

“Yes!” Tina jumped up, “You know who I am?”

“Of course I do! That’s so cool! High five kid!” Charlie exclaimed.

“My names Tina, but for tonight, call me Katie!” Tina slapped Charlies hand with an excited grin and Cas smiled to see her getting along with Charlie so well. A quick look around showed that Jo, Ash and Garth were also amused.

“Sure thing, _Katie_ ,” Charlie said, leaning forward conspiringly, “My name’s Charlie! But tonight, I’m the Queen of Moondor.”

“Whoa! A queen!” Tina stared at her with wide eyes

“Oh my god! She’s so adorbs!” Charlie gushed. Charlie fixed them both with a narrow stare. “Since when do you two have a kid? You been holding out on me?”

“She’s not our kid. She’s our friend’s kid. Don’t you remember? We warned you all there’d be a kid here tonight,” Dean protested.

“When are my dad’s gonna get here?” Tina said, twisting around to look at Dean and Cas as they settled down on the floor nearby, all the other surfaces already having people.

“Actually, we’re gonna go to  _them_ as soon as we get a call. But that might be a while okay?”

She nodded and turned back to the tv.

Charlie leaned over. “Oh my god. You kidnapped her and you’re waiting for the ransom call!”

Cas blinked at her unbelievingly as Jo smacked Charlie on the back of her head.

“What?” Charlie asked, rubbing at her head.

“How the hell is that the conclusion you jump to?” Jo asked. 

Charlie grinned ruefully. “I read too much fanfic?” she offered with no ounce of shame.

“You write too much fanfic,” Jo muttered. “Real life ain’t like that. Just remember that, Char.”

Thankfully, it wasn’t long before Tina was just as lost in the game as the rest of the household, stopping only to break for food. Just as she finished up her plate of meatballs, Dean’s phone rang once more. This time he stepped away to talk but when he returned he had a bright grin on his face.

“Okay, who’s ready to go see their dads?” he asked.

Tina dropped the controller. “Oh, me!” she cried. “We gotta get them so we don’t miss Trick or Treating.”

Exchanging looks with Cas, Dean cleared his throat. “Actually, Tina, I don’t think your dads are gonna be able to go Trick or Treating tonight. Your papa’s in the hospital cause he’s a little sick and we’re on our way there to see him.”

“Papa’s sick?” Tina said, stilling.

Cas winced. The rest of the room was suddenly, very unnaturally quiet but he daren’t turn around to look at his friends.

“Yeah, but it’s not that bad, I promise,” Dean said, suddenly kneeling before her and looking her in the eyes.

“But… if it’s not that bad, why’s he in the hospital?” She sniffled.

“Be..cause…” Dean floundered and Cas knelt beside Tina, coming to his rescue.

“Because your papa needs a special medicine that he’s not allowed to take out of the Hospital,” Cas said, figuring that was the easiest way to explain massive amounts of monitoring and oxygen equipment without scaring her. Thankfully, he’d known someone with Pneumonia once and had some inkling of what to expect. “Now, how about we go see for ourselves how your Papa is doing?”

She nodded and wiped at her eyes and Cas and Dean both exchanged a silent sigh of relief.

The hospital was just down the road – their city had 2 of them actually – and it didn’t take long to get there. Which was good, because Tina was definitely worried and if they’d had to drive longer, Cas wasn’t sure any of them could have taken it.

The parking garage was easy to find, as was the entrance and Cas marveled at that. He’d been to Hospitals that were like a damn maze just _getting_ to them. They were directed three floors up and down a couple of halls, but they found Cesar’s room fairly quickly.

They had no sooner knocked on the door and received a ‘come in’ from both Jesse and Cesar than Tina had let go of their hands and rushed through the door.

“Papa!” Tina cried out, beelining to Cesar’s side. Jesse stood beside Cesar’s bed, looking as much a wreck as Dean had told Cas he’d been told.

“Hey sweetling,” Cesar said gently. As Cas had expected, a canula was plugged into his nose, the hose wrapped around his ears and behind his head. He didn’t look too bad, but he did look extremely tired, his eyes drooping somewhat.

“Papa, why are you in the hospital?” Tina stared up at Cesar with wide, teary eyes and trembling lip. Jesse had snagged her before she could climb into Cesar’s bed and had pulled her into his lap as he sat suddenly, his arms wrapping around her like she was his lifeline.

Cas felt like he was intruding and he hesitated at the door. Dean stood beside him, neither of them moving further into the room just yet.

“Hey sweetling. I’m so sorry we can’t go trick or treating. We know how much were looking forward to it,” Cesar said softly.

“If…” Dean looked at Cas, then back at the little family all huddled together as best as possible without actually climbing into Cesar’s bed with him, though Tina had tried. Whatever message Dean had tried to pass on to Cas had completely eluded him and he listened with a tilted head as Dean hesitantly continued, finally stepping further into the room. “What if we took her? So she doesn’t miss out and you guys can get some space for a little bit, figure out what tonight’s game plan is?”

Jesses’ face lit up, though his words were hesitant. “Dean, we can’t ask you to – “

“Dude, you’re not asking, we’re offering. Besides, it’s actually kinda perfect, except for the whole you getting sick thing,” Dean said, gesturing at Cesar.

Jesse looked at him with narrowed eyes. “What do you mean?”

Cas sighed. “Dean – “

“Don’t be embarrassed, Cas,” Dean said, giving a slight jerk of his head towards Tina, where she was curled up in Jesse’s lap, and reaching for Cesar. Dean turned. “Can you _believe_ that Cas here has never been Trick or Treating in his life? And he’s too  _old_ to go out now. But if Tina takes us, Cas can see what it’s like.”

While they talked, Tina’s eyes growing wide as she stared at Cas, a nurse came in with a wheeled cart. “Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just going to record some numbers, take your blood pressure, all that stuff. You all keep talking.” The nurse smiled at Tina. “Aren’t you a cutie!”

Tina blushed and buried her face in Jesses shirt. But a second later had her popping back up again.

“Mr. Cas, you’ve re _ally_ never gone Trick or Treating?” her eyes were still wide and her tone was full of disbelief as she gaped at him.

“Sadly, never,” he said, deliberately pulling a sad face for her benefit, now that he’d caught on to Dean’s distraction. “My mother didn’t like Halloween.”

“She doesn’t sound fun,” Tina said.

“Tina!” Jesse hissed.

“It’s all right. She really wasn’t. My mother and I don’t even talk any more. Not since…” Cas’s eyes flicked down, his hand reaching out to grab Dean’s for comfort. Jesse and Cesar followed the movement and looked at him knowingly.

“We’re sorry to hear that,” Jesse said sympathetically. “I know how that is.”

Cesar looked at his husband with sad eyes before reaching out for his daughter. Tina climbed out of Jesses arms and onto the bed, Jesse assisting her anxiously and making sure she didn’t collide or pull any of Cesar’s tubes, looking anxiously at the nurse the whole while.

“It’s all right, as long as she’s careful,” the nurse said quietly.

Jesse let out a breath of relief and a soft thank you before he turned his attention back to Cesar and Tina and helping them get comfortable against each other.

“What do you say, sweetling?” Cesar pulled up one of her braids and tickled her cheek with the puff of hair at the end. “Would you like to show Castiel all about Trick or Treating?”

“ _Papa_ ,” Tina whined. She looked between the four adults uncertainly, biting at her lips and her little fingers grasping his worn tee shirt. She was obviously torn between the already planned for fun and wanting to stay with her sick dad. “I want to stay here. Don’t you want me to?”

“Of course I do,” Cesar assured her. “but the hospital has rules. And if I can’t keep you here, then I want you to at least have some fun, so you can come back and tell me  _all_ about it. How does that sound - good?”

Tina wavered but finally nodded. Cesar smiled and kissed her forehead while Jesse heaved a small sigh of relief.

“In that case, Trick or Treat starts in about an hour. You guys are going to want to get going,” Jesse said.

Tina lunged forward, hugging her papa, before clambering down and wrapping herself around her dad’s legs. Jesse leaned down, picked her up and gave her a huge hug before putting her back on her own two feet.

“You be good for Dean and Castiel, all right? No running off and always stay in sight. Listen to what they say and be polite,” Jesse admonished. “But most of all, have fun, okay?”

“Yes, daddy,” Tina said. She skipped over to Dean and Cas, taking each of their hands in one of hers and giving them a tug. As they started to walk she looked back at her fathers with a grin. “We’ll be back right after so we can sort the candy!”

*******

Dean and Castiel drove back to the apartment first where the party was well underway – the last guests, Pamela and Aaron, having arrived. If they were going to take Tina out Trick or Treating, they were going to join in on the costume fun, just as they had originally planned. It wouldn’t take long to get ready anyway.

 

Leaving Tina in Charlies hands, Cas and Dean dashed off to their room to get ready. Grateful that their costumes were simple, they both tugged down their shirts – blue for Cas and gold for Dean – at nearly the same time.

 

When they exited the room and reappeared in the living room, they found Charlie and Tina sitting close together as if they were conspiring about something. Both looked up when Cas and Dean returned and a grin lit over Charlies face.

“Look at you two! McKirk for the win!” Charlie fist pumped the air and Cas tilted his head at her briefly before looking between his and Dean’s costumes.

“I don’t understand. I thought you were familiar with Star Trek. I’m McCoy and he’s Kirk,” Cas said, plucking at his blue shirt.

“Yeah, I know. McCoy plus Kirk equals McKirk,” Charlie explained with a roll of her eyes. “Totally a couple’s costume.”

“Who are Kirk and McCoy?” Tina asked.

“We’re from Star Trek. I’m the captain and he’s my doctor. And I’m the only one who gets to call him Bones!” Dean said proudly.

“God, you guys are just too sickeningly cute,” Meg said dryly. Cas could see something flashing in her eyes and he _knew_ she was thinking of something way dirtier than what she’d said. He appreciated her _not_ saying whatever it was around Tina. “Wait, before you go. Tina, hold out your bag.”

Tina scrambled to lift her bag and Meg grinned down at her, her hands held behind her back.

“Now what do you say?”

“Trick or Treat!”

With a flourish, Meg brought her hands into view and dropped 3 large Snickers bars into the bag.

Taking Tina’s hands in theirs, Dean holding her no longer empty Trick or Treat bag and Cas carrying some glow necklaces and a couple of flashlights, the three of them headed for the door. As they opened it, there was a stampede behind them and when Cas turned to look, it appeared as if all the inhabitants and all the guests of the apartment were currently converging on them.

Cas blinked but it was Dean that spoke.

“Uh, guys? What’s going on?”

“What does it look like?” Charlie said gleefully. “We’re coming with you!”

And that’s how Castiel found himself walking through Jesse and Cesar’s neighborhood with Tina, Dean, his other 3 roommates and their other four party guests. Castiel didn’t mind the walk; he loved walking, even if it seemed a trifle disorganized with such a big crowd. But at least with so many adults in tow, they didn’t stand a chance of losing Tina – one of his biggest fears.

“Don’t worry, babe. I didn’t lose Sammy when I was just an irresponsible brat, I won’t lose Tina either,” Dean said, squeezing Cas’s hand as they approached the first house.

They reached the driveway and Tina tugged on Cas’s hand with an excited yell. “C’mon, Mr. Cas!”

Dean laughed and let go, pulling out his camera. “Go on babe, you got this. I’ll take pics for the Cuevas.”

Bemusedly, Castiel let himself be led up to the door, Dean following at a distance, the rest of them milling about at the end of the driveway in high spirits. It was still early enough that the light was only just starting to set and there were no other kids with them at the house. He thought he saw one or two other groups starting to make their way down the street, but just at this moment, it was only him and Tina at the door as she reached up on tippy toe to press the doorbell.

A spooky sound came from inside and Castiel startled, smiling sheepishly as Tina giggled when he jumped. He hadn’t expected someone to have changed their doorbell for Halloween. The door opened nearly right away, before Tina even stopped giggling.

Instantly, she held up her bag and yelled cheerfully, “Hi, Mrs. Anderson! Trick or Treat!”

“Oh my! My first Trick or Treater of the night! You get a special bonus!” The lady who answered the door with a smile happened to be the teacher they’d picked Tina up from that afternoon. She leaned over, dropping a big handful of candy into the bag.

“Thank you!” Tina exclaimed, grinning. She turned to Castiel. “Your turn, Mr. Cas!”

“Oh no, Tina. I’m here with you. I’m too old for Trick or Treating,” Castiel reminded her.

She pouted at him. “But you said your mom never  _let_ you Trick or Treat! So you gotta do it  _now!”_

“Is that right?” Mrs. Anderson said. “You just wait here then.”

She disappeared behind the door and Cas felt his cheeks flaming in embarrassment but he didn’t want to make Tina upset for putting him on the spot like that. The teacher returned quickly enough with one of those reusable shopping bags in her hand.

“There, _Mr. Cas_ ,” she said with a twinkle in her eye, handing him the bag. “If Tina says you’ve never Trick or Treated then I guess you’re going to need this.”

“But…” he tried to protest.

“No buts,” she said firmly, but gently. “Now, what do you say?”

Reluctantly, he took the bag. “Thank you?”

“You’re welcome, but that’s not what I asked.”

She stood there waiting with a raised brow and he looked down at Tina who was mouthing in a hissing manner her child like attempt to be subtle in coaching him, “Trick or Treat, Mr. Cas!”

He blinked down at her and back up. “Uh, Trick or Treat?”

“That’s the spirit!” Mrs. Anderson said, a blinding smile lighting her face as she dumped a handful of candy into his bag too. “And you get the first timer bonus,” she said before he could protest how much she’d just given him.

“Bye, Mrs. Anderson!” Tina said with a wave.

“Bye Tina,” she answered easily. Tina let go of Cas’s hand to run back up the driveway to the waiting group, collecting Dean and Charlie on the way, and before Cas could turn to follow her, the teacher stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Before you go, how is Mr. Cuevas?”

“He’s all right. A bout of Pneumonia, apparently. His husband is beside himself, though,” Cas said.

“Thank you for looking after Tina,” Mrs. Anderson said. “She’s a sweet kid and they’re good dads. Word of warning, I won’t be the only one asking after Mr. Cuevas. The whole neighborhood is hoping to hear how he’s doing. Thank you for being there for them, you and Mr. Winchester.”

Castiel smiled, unsure how to respond to that. He tried anyway. “They’re our friends. Of course we’d be there for them.”

Chattering broke into their conversation and Castiel made room for a new group of Trick or Treaters. Unsure what the protocol was he half waved as he left, leaving Tina’s teacher to hand out candy to the freshly arrived group.

When he returned to his friends, Dean was waiting for him with a smirk. “Sooo… what’s going on?”

“It appears that I’m Trick or Treating after all,” Cas said solemnly, holding up his bag. “Mrs. Anderson insisted after Tina blabbed.”

“Hehe, that was classic. I wish I’d videoed that!” Dean’s face fell until Charlie crowed.

“No worries, handmaiden, I’ve got your back!” Charlie waved her phone in the air and both of them whirled to face her, Dean with glee and Castiel with horror.

“Seriously, Charlie?” Dean beamed at her. “You’re the best!”

Cas groaned and hid his face in his hand.

Tina tugged at his shirt. “Mr. Cas? What’s wrong?”

He dropped his hand to look at her. “Nothing. My friends are embarrassing me, that’s all.”

“Ooooh. My daddy’s do that all the time.” She nodded sagely. “C’mon! We got lots of houses to go to!” she said, pulling at his shirt this time.

Following Tina’s lead, Castiel walked up every driveway with her, Dean coming along with his camera ready. House to house, Cas let Tina ring the bell while he and Dean stood to the side. And at each house, Tina pushed him to Trick or Treat too, after spilling the beans to pretty much everyone they stopped to talk to.

Mrs. Anderson had been right. At least half the houses they stopped at asked about Cesar.

As they walked away with Tina skipping between them, Dean was staring at Cas in awe. “They sure picked a good neighborhood here. Nobody’s given _us_ the side-eye at all, they all seem to care about Jesse and Cesar despite… and… it’s just…”

“I know, Dean,” Cas said simply. He was feeling overwhelmed too at the outpouring of good feelings that abounded here. The care these people had for their neighbors was real, and apparently extended to anyone who helped out in the slightest.

He wondered if that was why they were all so willing to go along with Tina’s insistence that he Trick or Treat, too? With that thought, Cas stopped being embarrassed about it and simply resigned to continue.

Well, okay, he had to admit it was fun too, though most of that came from partaking in Tina’s joy of it all. A few houses even handed Dean some candy.

“Oh, look at the two of ye,” a redheaded lady in a witch costume said with a coy smile. “Captain, why don’t you come up here, too. I think a costume such as yours definitely needs a treat. And it’s only fair, if yer boyfriend is getting one, that ye get one too, don’t ye think?”

Dean eagerly bounded forward, stashing his camera out of the way. When he was handed his giant Hershey bar, he grinned and unwrapped it. “Thanks! I’m starving!”

“Oh!” Tina gasped. “Can I eat one of my candies too?”

“Dean, you’re a bad influence,” Cas chided.

“You love me anyway, babe,” Dean said around a mouthful of chocolate.

Cas chuckled but managed to snap a picture of Dean’s puffed out cheeks, chipmunk style, with his phone as Dean crammed the entire candy bar in as fast as he could chew.

“Ah, I always did love Spirk,” the red headed lady chuckled as they started walking away.

“Spirk? Wait, does she think I’m Spock?” Cas asked, remembering Charlies explanation from earlier and drawing his own conclusions. “But I don’t even have pointed ears, why would she think that?” Cas turned to explain it to her and Dean just grabbed him around the shoulders and steered him away.

Dean loudly thanked the red headed witch as they walked back down the driveway, dragging Cas with him while Tina begged the entire way to eat a piece of her candy.

Tina’s energy started to flag just as they reached the last house. When the door opened, Cas was surprised to see none other than Missouri on the other side.

“Well, hello boys,” she said with a smile. She looked down the driveway at the larger group milling around on the street. “Are they all with you and Tina?”

Cas and Dean both turned to check the group and sure enough it was just their friends standing there. Dean nodded.

“Yeah, my papa’s in the hospital and Mr. Cas has never Trick or Treated before and they were having a party so they brought the party with us,” Tina explained.

“Never?” Missouri asked before glancing down. “I see that’s being fixed as we speak.”

“Um, yes?”

“Is that what you’re supposed to say?” she smirked.

Tina nudged Cas and together they held their bags and said, “Trick or Treat”

“That’s more like it. Here you cuties go,” Missouri said, splitting the remainder of a bowl of candy between their bags. “Now, I believe you’re the last Trick or Treaters of the night. It’s officially time. Why don’t you all – yes, even those loiterers at the end of my driveway - come in for some apple cider.”

She didn’t ask, but she raised her eyebrow challengingly at Dean and Cas. Dean coughed. “Um, sure, Miss Mosely.”

She patted his cheek. “Missouri, dear. Remember?”

“Right.”

She turned away, leaving the door open and Dean looked helplessly at Cas. “Um, I’ll just uh, go get them, I guess?”

Leaving Cas and Tina to follow Missouri directly, Dean darted back to their friends. Soon, Missouri’s little kitchen was filled with a varying display of costumes and she exclaimed or asked about every one of them while passing out the apple cider.

Cas leaned over to Dean. “Is _this_ normal for Trick or Treating?”

Dean bumped their shoulders together. “Not in the slightest. At least, not in my experience. But I guess, in a neighborhood where you know folks? Could be? Maybe?”

They finished their cider in amiable conversation and when Tina curled up on Dean’s lap, drooping, Cas stood. “Thank you for the cider, Missouri. I think we need to get going though.”

“Of course, dears. You all tell Cesar I wish him the best,” she said.

Tina didn’t even protest as Dean carried her out of the house, Cas taking her bag of candy in hand with his own. They walked back to where they’d left their cars – they’d had to take 2; Dean’s Impala and Aarons van.

They drove straight to the hospital instead of dropping of their friends. All their friends had insisted – even those who hadn’t yet met Jesse or Cesar.

So here there were, 12 people converging on a hospital room.

Much to the Cuevas’s surprise, of course.

“I know we probably can’t stay long but we thought we’d bring the party to you,” Dean announced, forestalling Jesse and Cesar’s question before they could do more than open their mouths.

“I’m sorry about your party,” Cesar said as they all filed in.

“Cesar,” Jesse started. Cas was sure Jesse was about to chide his husband about how he shouldn’t be feeling guilty but before Jesse could say anything else, Dean spoke up instead.

“Nah, don’t be,” Dean insisted. “Party didn’t end, it just changed venues, that’s all. Plus, these guys kinda insisted.”

Pretty soon, introductions were made – Charlie, Jo, Ash and Garth hadn’t yet met the Cuevas – and Tina dumped her bag of candy out on Cesar’s’ lap. As she sorted her candy, exchanging bits with Cas in the strangest barter system he’d ever seen, she regaled her fathers about everything she could remember – starting with the costumes she’d seen, with Dean and Charlie showing the pictures they’d taken.

Cesar smiled and even Jesse laughed, when she ended with “And everybody was _shocked_ that Mr. Cas never Trick or Treated before and they all helped and I showed him how.”

“I’m very proud of you, sweetling, for taking care of Mr. Cas like that. It was very selfless of you,” Cesar said.

“I am too,” Jesse agreed, the three of them pulling together for a hug.

Cesar turned tired but laughing eyes to Cas. “I hope you weren’t _too_ embarrassed, Cas.”

“I got over it. Tina was very sweet and after all, I did finally get to do something I’ve never done before, and so I’m very grateful to her,” Cas said. “Thank you, Tina.”

“You’re welcome,” she said.

A nurse came in just as they were finished sorting the candy, bringing in a nebulizer treatment. Tina’s eyes got wide and worried as she watched him breath through the odd tube with vapor coming out of the other end.

“Cesar, man, didn’t know you smoked,” Balthazar joked.

“Why’s papa doing that?” Tina asked, biting her lip.

The nurse looked down at her kindly. “Your papa is having trouble breathing right now, but this is helping his lungs to open back up. We took X-rays of your papa’s lungs earlier today and they need a little bit of medicine to get back to working order. Do you know what an X-ray is?”

Tina scrunched up her face, thinking. “It’s… a machine that sees inside your body, right?”

“That’s right.” The nurse beamed at her.

“Can I see papa’s X-rays?”

“Oh, I don’t have those, his doctor does. But you know what? If you don’t tell anyone, I can X-ray your candy for you? I’m sure your papa told you you have to always check your Halloween candy to make sure it’s safe to eat. My X-ray can do that for you,” the nurse suggested.

Tina’s eyes went wide and she nodded eagerly, scrambling for her bag of candy and handing it to the nurse.

“I’ll be right back with this. In fact, your papa will be done before your X-rays are done!” the nurse said. She started to leave when Tina let out a gasp.

“Oh no! Wait! You have to check Mr. Cas’s candy too!” Tina turned to take Cas’s bag of candy and ran after the nurse and held it out with imploring eyes. “But you can’t mix ‘em up, cause we just traded.”

“Don’t worry, sweetie,” the nurse said with a smile.

Cas wasn’t sure what the nurse’s intention was with the suggestion, but he couldn’t help but think that it was a very smart move on her part. In explaining it to Tina, and including her as well, the nurse had made Tina more curious than scared, normalizing it for her.

They didn’t stay much longer, after that. They continued their quiet conversation with occasional bouts of overly loud laughter while waiting for the nurse to return. After Cesar finished his treatment another nurse had come and taken away the equipment, checking his vitals and writing them down. As soon as she was gone, Tina crawled up on the bed and curled up with him. The two of them were fading fast, tough both were also stubbornly making an effort to stay involved with the rest of the party.

Thankfully, the first nurse finally returned with the X-rays and showed them to Tina, pronouncing her and Cas’s candy perfectly safe and tracing the outlines of various pieces and shapes.

“Wow,” she said. “Can I keep this?”

“Yes, you may,” the nurse said.

“Thank you!” Tina said.

“Your welcome. Happy Halloween all,” the nurse said, nodding at the rest of the room before departing.

By mutual, unspoken agreement, Cas and Dean gathered everyone up and started ushering them out. Once the gang was well on their way, Cas broke off from helping Dean corral their friends and returned to Cesar and Jesses side.

“You want us to take Tina back with us?” Cas asked Jesse quietly, glancing over at Tina.

Jesse looked up at Cas tiredly. “Would you? Just for a couple more hours. I’ll come over and pick her up in a little bit. They won’t let me stay –" he reached out to take Cesar’s hand in his and Cesar’s eyes blinked open.

“I’m fine babe,” Cesar said softly.

“I know, but I can’t help worrying, and I don’t want to scare Tina with my worry.” Jesse rubbed Cesar’s hand with his thumb, then looked back at Cas. “I just want to be with him as long as I can.”

“Jesse,” Cas said sympathetically. “Don’t worry. Trust the doctors. Cesar will be all right. And don’t worry about Tina. As much as you need, let us know. Dean and I are always up for watching her. The next few days, or whenever. We’re happy to help.”

“Thanks, Cas. You and Dean are good people. And your friends – you’ve got good taste in friends, too.”

“I agree,” Cesar said, his eyes blinking closed again.

“Thank you. They may be a little odd at times, I’ll admit, myself included, but I think that’s at least part of the appeal,” Cas said, with a smile.

“Babe, you ready?” Dean asked from the door.

“Yeah, almost. Tina,” Cas called. She looked up. “Are you ready to go?”

“I’m not staying here?”

“Sweetling,” Jesse said, his voice cracking slightly as he knelt beside her. “I told you, the hospital won’t let us stay and you need to go get some sleep. I’ll come and get you in a little while, okay?”

She nodded and then flung herself at him. They hugged for a long moment before he stood, bringing her with him. She wriggled in his arms till she could pull back and look from him to Cesar.

“Can I give papa a hug before I leave?”

“Of course you can,” Jesse said, bringing her back over to the bed and leaning down. Cesar opened his eyes tiredly and reached an arm out to hug Tina.

“Don’t worry sweetling, I’ll be home soon. I love you,” Cesar said. He let go and touched her cheek. “You be good for Dean and Cas, okay?”

“Okay. I love you too papa. And you too daddy,” Tina said with a yawn.

Cas held his arms out as he came up beside them. “Here, I’ll carry her to the car. Dean can get the candy.”

“Don’t forget my X-rays,” she mumbled into his shirt as Jesse transferred her over.

“Already have them,” Dean said, brandishing the bags and the X-rays triumphantly.

“Thanks again, both of you,” Cesar said.

They waved as they left, Charlie waiting on the other side of the door to close it when they came out. The drive back to the apartment was quick and quiet. Though it wasn’t all that late – for them, anyway, it was past little girls’ bedtimes - the gang broke up a little into smaller, quieter groups.

Pamela and Aaron left with looks that made Cas think _they_ wouldn’t be in for a quiet night. Meg and Balthazar went off to their room as Dean and Cas tucked a sleepy Tina into their bed and shut the door behind them.

Cas found Benny cleaning up things in the kitchen. Charlie had queued up a movie and was snuggling in with Jo to watch it. Garth was talking Ash out of lighting up inside the apartment out of respect of Tina and her fathers and, all in all, it was a much more mellow evening then Cas had anticipated with the crew and the Dragon’s Blood still taking up the bathtub.

He found he didn’t regret that, though. Tonight had been different than planned, but fun. All thanks to Tina.

Not for the first time since they’d met the Cuevas, Cas wondered about a future with children, with Dean.

As if summoned, Dean wrapped his arms around him from behind, resting his chin on Cas’s shoulder. Cas leaned back into the touch, covering Dean’s hands with his own and smiling contentedly.

He was certain he had a future with Dean. And if there were children in their future, well, they still had plenty of time to figure that out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so now that THAT's out of the way  
> \- a roommate of mine really did try to make Dragon's Blood (whatever that was. i described exactly what i remembered) in our tub.  
> \- if you follow me on tumblr main blog (not the writing blog) you'll know my daughter recently had Pneumonia  
> \- Tina's costume was inspired by my own daughter  
> \- Dean getting random candy because of his costume ? Yeah, that happened to me. It was dark, I was hanging back in my Cas costume, nowhere near the door, when the lady there somehow spotted me, yelled "Cas! you're awesome! Come over here and get Candy!"  
> \- being invited inside for apple cider? Well, it was really hot chocolate. but yes. I didn't know the person but my friends did. Also, we were in college. yes. we trick or treated. *I* could get away with it. If you ask anyone who knew me in college, i could pass for 12  
> \- when i was really little, there was a scare (as there tends to be just about every year) about razor blades in our candy. My dad worked nights at a hospital as a nurse. he honestly did that with our candy and showed us after. we all thought it was the coolest thing.  
> \- my grandmother didn't forbid us from having fun on halloween, but she worried about the tendencies towards tricks and people hurting her black cats. She DID pass out pamphlets, but they were actually neat little stories with morals that said "have fun but be kind" and had little drawings too that she made herself. she then sweetened the pot by handing out the pamphlets with little baggies filled with pennies.


	7. Friendsgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving is coming but everyone's scattering to the four winds, again, when Dean and Cas just wanted to spend it with their friends.
> 
> They're resigned to spending it alone - at least they've got each other - when weather intervenes and Dean and Cas get the Thanksgiving they'd been hoping for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 days late and VERY unbetad (I'm so sorry on ALL those counts. I have been feeling most unwell for 80 percent of this 4 day holiday weekend which is TOTALLY unfair, so i didn't get half as much as i wanted to get done done. Sorry!)
> 
> thanks go out ot the Mediocre Meta group (and ThayerKerbasy, Noxlee, Treefrogie and Shixpe in particular) for helping me pick a wine (as well as handing me the PERFECT Balthazar line...)

Dean didn’t know what to expect for Thanksgiving this year. In college, he’d gone home every year because Sam had been there. But now that Sam was dating Jess, Dean was faced once more with the idea of spending a holiday with his dad – _no!_ – or spending it here at the apartment, or – more likely – wherever it was Cas wanted to go. 

A slow smile spread over his face. With Cas as his boyfriend, that last option was by far preferable to the first but he wasn’t sure what Cas wanted to do. Was he selfish in wishing to stay here?

Sure, Cas’s mom wanted nothing to do with Cas now, but the rest of the family were still on speaking terms with him. And, if Dean were honest with himself, Gabe and Jimmy weren’t so bad. But he really, _really_ hoped Cas chose to stay here rather than see his family.

Clicking through some websites for recipe ideas – just in case – Dean wondered how to bring it up with Cas and not pressure him. Sure, Cas wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want to do but…

The bedroom door opened and speaking of the devil… Dean grinned up at his boyfriend.

“Hey,” Dean said, promptly melting under the small smile Cas flashed back. “What’s up?”

“Hmmm… Not sure yet. Looks like my brothers are scattering to the four winds for Thanksgiving and Dad’s buckling down for a deadline,” Cas said, shrugging, pocketing his phone.

“So, no big family thing this year?” Dean tried not to let the hope fill his voice because as much as he wished for it, he knew that Cas must be feeling sad about it.

“Nah. And that’s… it’s weird. It feels weird. Of all the holidays, this was the one our family always put aside their differences and came together for. I may not have liked all of them but…”

He trailed off and Dean knew Cas was thinking of his mother. Dean stood up.

“I’m sorry, babe,” Dean said softly, taking Cas into his arms. Cas slumped against him with a sigh.

“I’ll be fine. I’m just a little melancholy, I suppose,” he said, the words muffled in Dean’s shirt.

Dean gave him a tug back towards the bed and the two of them settled down on it together.

“What were you doing before I came in?” Cas asked.

“Hmm… nothing much. Just researching some recipes,” Dean said.

“I  _do_ love when you cook,” Cas hummed.

“Thanks,” Dean said, grinning. He pulled Cas closer, knocking their heads together gently. “There’s definitely a few I want to try. Have you ever heard of a Turducken?”

Cas frowned. “I think so? That’s when you put a bird inside of another, right? Seems like something like that could be hard to cook.”

“Maybe, but I think I want to try it. Just think of it – a turkey, stuffed with a duck, which is stuffed by a chicken and then – mmmm – sausage stuffing _!”_

Dean’s mouth was watering just thinking about it. “Would it be going too far to wrap the whole thing in bacon?”

“No!” Cas’s answer was immediate and firm.

Dean laughed. “Shoulda known that’d be your answer.”

“What if  _we_ hosted Thanksgiving?” Cas asked thoughtfully. “Then you’d get to try. And I suppose we should invite a few people cause that sounds like a lot of food – and effort – just for the two of us.”

“Speak for yourself. I think I could put away an entire bird by myself!” Dean retorted, still laughing.

“I’d rather not see you try,” Cas said back. “So what do you think?”

“Oh yeah, absolutely! Do you wanna let the roomies know first, or plan a menu instead?” Dean asked.

“Mmm… Menu.” Cas said, leaning away briefly to get his notebook and pencil. “All right. Turducken – with bacon. Mashed potatoes, because those are a must. What else?”

“Gravy of course. Can’t have mashed potatoes without that! And we’ll make two types – with and without mushrooms,” Dean turned his head to kiss Cas’s cheek, knowing that as much as Dean despised mushrooms, Cas loved ‘em. “Biscuits - wait, so how grand are we thinking? How fancy do we wanna get?”

“How many recipes did you find that you wanted to try?” Cas asked, looking up from the notebook.

“A fair few,” Dean said slowly.

“Then we’ll go _that_ grand.”

“Babe, even if we have a big party, it’s  _totally_  gonna be overkill,” Dean protested.

“So? Let it be overkill. Let us have leftovers for weeks…” Cas said determinedly.

“You’re only saying that cause you don’t like cooking.”

“And your point is?” Cas arched an eyebrow up and Dean laughed, conceding defeat. He didn’t  _really_ want to argue anyway.

Together, they went through a bunch of the recipes Dean had already bookmarked, and then searched out a few more as Cas murmured things such as, “You’ve never had candied yams? You should, at least once.”

* * *

 

It was hours later that the two of them emerged from their self-imposed exile to search out their roommates. As luck would have it, all three of them were home.

“You want to throw a huge Thanksgiving dinner… _here_?” Benny asked slowly.

“Uh… yeah? Kinda like we had New Years and Halloween and other random parties. Place is big enough if we clean up a bit,” Dean said.

“Yeah, but Dean, it’s kinda last minute,” Meg said from her place in the blue recliner.

“You saying you guys already have plans?” Dean’s stomach sank. Even in the short time Cas and he had been planning it, he was already set on the idea and eagerly looking forward to it.

“Sorry brother,” Benny said. “Been lookin’ forward to some of my ma’s home cooked meals. Not that yours ain’t great an’ all, but there’s something to be said for a coupla spicy dishes.”

“Meg, you can’t already have family plans…” Castiel said.

“Not my own, you’re right but, uh…” Meg blushed uncharacteristically. “Balthazar’s family has been bugging him to settle down so he’s taking me home to meet his and throw them a bone.”

“Wait, seriously?” Dean asked. His eyes went wide, his head swinging back and forth between Meg and Balthazar. Had their on again, off again relationship just become a  _thing_?

Meg glared and stomped off. Balthazar shrugged. “So guess you gents know what my plans are now,” he said before following after.

“Huh…” said Dean, still feeling blindsided. If the blinking stares from Cas and Benny were any indication, they were feeling the same way.

“Never thought I’d see the day either of those two got serious – with each other  _or_ anyone else,” Benny drawled out.

“Me neither,” Cas agreed.

As the news sank in, however, Dean’s low spirits reasserted themselves. He and Cas had spent all that time planning and, well, Meg was right. It’d all been too last minute. With a sigh, he flopped down on the couch, Benny’s gaze turning to follow.

“Hope you’re not too disappointed,” he said.

Dean waved him off. “Nah, it’s cool. That just means me and Cas will get the place to ourselves, and how rare is that? Think of the possibilities!”

“Eww… I don’t think I really want to,” Benny said, with an over dramatic shudder.

“You suck,” Dean said, shoving at Benny with his feet. Benny, damn him, didn’t even budge from his spot.

Cas sat down beside Dean, leaning into his shoulder as Benny flicked through Netflix for something to watch. He threaded his fingers into Dean’s hand and murmured, “We can still try all those recipes, if you want.”

“Nah, I mean, what’s the point? We planned way too much for just two people. Maybe we should just stick to the basics.”

“You’ll still do the Turducken, though, right?” Cas looked at Dean hopefully.

Laughing, his spirits feeling a little lighter, Dean said, “Of course.”

* * *

 

The day before thanksgiving, Dean was woken by a slamming door.  

Frowning, he stared up at the ceiling while Cas didn’t even budge, his boyfriend draped over him under their thick blankets. He turned his head to check the clock.

10 AM.

Meg and Balthazar’s flight was at 7 AM. That couldn’t have been them leaving. And Benny’s flight was a little later in the morning, but had decided to hitch a ride with Meg and Balthy just for ease of convenience, so there shouldn’t be anyone other than Dean and Cas in the entire apartment.

Unless someone had broken in, but if that were the case, would robbers be so careless as to let the door slam shut behind them?

His curiosity piqued, Dean disentangled himself from Cas’s embrace and rolled off the bed, Cas grumbling and rolling into Dean’s recently vacated space. With no Dean to latch on to, Cas wound up curled around one of the pillows and Dean looked down at him fondly.

Going quietly, he turned and slipped out of the bedroom and snuck out to the living room.

He stopped short at the sight of all three of his roommates, plus their luggage strewn about the entryway, fumbling off their coats, hats and scarves.

“Uh… miss your flights?” he asked.

“No, they fuckin’ canceled them for a measly couple of snowflakes,” Meg snarled. She finally finished ripping off her coat and just shoved it at Balthazar, grabbing her suitcase and pushing past Dean. Within seconds, she’d gone to her and Balthazar’s room and slammed the door.

Deans eyes immediately went to the large windows.

Sure enough, big fat white flakes were falling, thick and fast, past the window.

“It really is bad out there, brother,” Benny said. “And I didn’t want to spend my holiday in the airport on the off chance the planes would become _un_ grounded. With as unexpected as this storm was, I don’t think anyone actually knows what’s going to happen.”

 “Bummer,” Dean said, already mentally going over the food in the house. He’d picked up most of what Cas and he needed already, with plans to get the last of it today. They’d done the math to do smaller portions of all the things they wanted to try but now… if he was going to be feeding five people instead of two, that might not be enough.

Balthazar clapped Dean on the shoulder briefly on his way past. “Guess you get that big holiday dinner like you wanted.”

“Huh. Guess I do,” Dean agreed absently, still going over the list in his head. “I think Cas and I need to make a run.”

“You want help? Let Cas sleep in a bit?” Benny asked, pausing in the act of taking off his boots.

“Y’know? That’s not a bad idea. Let me get dressed,” Dean agreed. He turned and went back to his and Cas’s room and was properly dressed and ready to go in a flash.

Soon, he and Benny were sitting in the front seat of the Impala, carefully making their way through snow-covered streets to hit the stores.

* * *

 

The rest of the day was spent in prep for the next. Maybe it was just going to be the five of them, and maybe it was going to be an informal affair – there was no way for their table to hold _all_ the food Dean and Cas had planned _and_ seat all five of them – but it was a lot of things Dean planned to make.

That in mind, Dean did all of his baking on Wednesday, and as much pre-prep (measuring ingredients, cutting veggies, etc) as he could, with occasional video game breaks with his roommates (and maybe a make out session or two with Cas).

It was around 6 PM when a phone rang. The ring tone barely protruded into Dean’s concentration and it wasn’t until Cas held up his phone to Dean’s ear that he realized that it had been _his_ phone that rang.

He took it, wiping his hand off on his jeans, and asked tentatively – “Ummm… hello?”

“Hey, Dean, it’s Cesar. We got a big favor to ask of you.”

Balancing the phone carefully on his shoulder, Dean picked up his knife again. “Oh yeah? Shoot?”

“Powers gone out over half the city and we got no heat, nor any way to cook up the food we planned for tomorrow. You got power?” Cesar asked.

“Shit, really?” Dean blinked, juggling his phone to a firmer grip. “Yeah, we got power. And before you ask, yes. You three get your butts over here, and bring all your perishables too. We’ll see if we can incorporate any of them into our current plans and if not, we’ll just keep ‘em all safe for ya,” Dean offered.

“Thanks, Dean,” Cesar said with gratefulness coating every word. “You’re a lifesaver. Me and Jesse could tough it out, but we don’t want to subject Tina to it if we don’t have to.”

“Yeah, no, that makes sense. Now get your butts over here,” Dean said, glad there was something he could do to help. Since they had no other guests, it shouldn’t be too hard to set up the living room so the three of them could spend the night (and however much longer they needed to until their power came back on.

It wasn’t long before the Cuevas rang their buzzer and Cas went down to let them in. Tina, thankfully, thought of the whole thing as an adventure, and the rest of the roommates – when Dean had explained the situation – had merely grinned and said, “the more the merrier.”

Cas may have actually beamed.

Tina wanted to help, so Cas found her one of his art aprons and with some artful and _careful_ pinning, managed to make it fit her size. It was so adorable and Dean was super glad that Jesse had caught some pictures of it.

Things were soon a pleasant chaos as he continued prep for the next day’s feast and they went through the contents of the Cuevas’s ‘pantry’ to figure out dinner for the night.

Rock Band was broken out while Dean was busy in the kitchen with Tina and Jesse and all in all, the night went well, the smell of mouthwatering apple pie permeating the apartment as some of the food Jesse and Cesar had brought were easily transformed into that night’s dinner.

A late dinner, but dinner none the less. Which was good, since Dean and Cas’s original plans prior to the grounding and the later power outage had simply been to order something easy like pizza or Chinese. Probably pizza.

They didn’t stay up as late as they normally would have, not with guests who were crashing out in the living room that included a small child. Instead, Dean dug into the walk-in closet for his sleeping bag while Meg and Balthazar fished out a bunch of blankets and even a couple of pillows and between them, they made something usable for the Cuevas.

Benny scratched his head. “I’d offer you three my room, but my bed’s barely big enough for me. Unless you think Tina might like a real bed for the night? I could sleep out here on the couch, easy.”

Tina shook her head adamantly. “No! I’m gonna sleep on the floor in Mr. Dean’s sleeping bag!” she said excitedly.

“Sweetling, are you sure about that?” Jesse asked.

“Ah, the resilience of youth,” Cesar chuckled. “She won’t be as eager for that when she gets older. But for now, it’s like an adventure for her, isn’t that right, Tina?”

She nodded, snuggling down into the sleeping bag nearly as soon as it got laid out, her arms wrapped around a little purple elephant with flowers on its stomach and ears.

Taking that as his cue to go, Dean bid his goodnights to the Cuevas, snagged Cas by the elbow and retreated back to their own room for the night.

They readied for bed, though they weren’t in the least bit tired, snuggling down together, Dean’s laptop in reach but not yet on.

“Isn’t it odd how this holiday has gone?” Dean asked quietly. Cas hummed and nodded but said nothing. “It’s like the universe conspired… _for_ us, for once. We wanted a big family gather, and… and somehow, that’s what we’re getting.”

“It is truly a strange bit of timing but… I’m happy with that, other than how it inconveniences our friends. I’m just glad we’re able to provide something that enables them to still enjoy the holiday despite their ruined plans,” Cas agreed.

“Me too,” Dean said. “I find I… I rather like taking care of people. You would think I’d have become sick of it, forced to do that growing up but… I do. Is that weird? Unhealthy?”

“I don’t think so. Just as long as you take care of yourself too, and allow others to reciprocate,” Cas said thoughtfully. “I think… that’s what makes a community, really. Why our little apartment works out so well when so many of our peers fall apart.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Dean said, relaxing, a content feeling washing through him.

There wasn’t much talking for the rest of the night, the two of them falling asleep in each other’s arms with Dean’s alarm set to go off early in the morning.

* * *

 

The next morning dawned bright and early, with Dean’s routine being a repeat of the previous morning minus the slamming of the front door. Cas grumbled and rolled into Dean’s warmth once more and Dean made his way to the kitchen as quietly as he could in hopes that he wouldn’t wake up their guests.

He blinked when he realized they were already awake. Or, at least, Tina was. Jesse seemed to just be sitting on the couch with his head nodding up and down while Tina chattered away. Cesar was nowhere in sight, but the mystery of his presence (or lack thereof) was solved when Dean heard the flush of the toilet.

“I’m sorry – my alarm didn’t wake you, did it?” Dean asked anxiously.

Jesse waved him off sleepily. “Nah, ours did.”

“You guys set an alarm?” Dean couldn’t imagine why they would do that. Unless they were feeling guilty for taking over the living room. In that case, he needed to set things right about that. Most of the household were late risers when they had the opportunity (though none so late as Cas, when he put his mind to it).

“Tina is our alarm,” Cesar said from behind Dean.

“Oh,” Dean said. “That sounds… convenient.”

Cesar snorted and Jesse just snored. Cesar looked at Jesse with amusement. “Ah, yes, sure. Convenient.”

Tina’s sudden squeal made Dean look back in time to see her bounce off the couch. “Mr. Dean! What’s for breakfast?” she nearly yelled, colliding with his legs and looking up at him with puppy dog eyes.

“Uhhh….”

“Now Tina, Mr. Dean just woke up. Why don’t we give him a few minutes,” Cesar said, leaning down to be on her level and prying her off of Dean. She went easily, wrapping her little arms around Cesar’s neck and he stood again, with Tina in his arms. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

Dean shrugged. “It’s cool. Just let me get the coffee pot started and we’ll see what’s on the menu.”

“Nothing too fancy, I hope. Cas was telling me all the things you planned to cook for today and that’s going to be a lot of work. You’ll let us know if there’s anything we can help with, right?”

“Of course,” Dean agreed, filling the coffee pot and checking the grounds before turning it on.

The morning was a slow moving chaos, but once everyone was awake, it was filled with music, chatter and laughter, punctuated by Dean’s instructions and the clattering of cookware. The pre-pared Turducken was the first thing into the oven.

“Isn’t it a little early for that?” Cas asked.

“Well, I found conflicting information on how long it can actually take a Turducken to cook. One guy said he started at noon and it wasn’t ready till past midnight while nearly all the blogs say it should only take around 5 ours max. So I wanted to put some leeway time in there, just in case. I’m hoping everything’s done by 5pm latest,” Dean explained. "But if we're lucky, it'll be 3."

“That sounds reasonable,” Cesar noted. “But on the plus side, you’re cooking so much stuff that even if we have to wait for the meat, we’ve got plenty of food to keep us from starving while we do.”

Dean beamed. “Kinda the point!”

Thanks to all his prep the day before and the help everyone else had given, most of Dean’s work was just keeping an eye on the Turducken and mixing up a few other dishes that could be done on the stove or in a crockpot. Nothing too strenuous though he kept obsessively checking the clock and the electric  thermometer readout on the outside of the oven.

When not preoccupied with food, Dean and Cas broke out the board games upon Tina’s request. Jesse shook his head as they set up Cartagena.

“Man, I still can’t believe you play grown up candy land and you don’t even have kids.”

“Hey!” Dean pointed at him. “Grown up candy land is awesome! Unlike the real thing, there’s a strategy here.”

“Don’t worry, we’ve put a rule in place to help when Tina runs out of cards and she’s at the back of the pack,” Cas said as he shuffled.

“Smart move,” Cesar said.

“Now, this game’s only for 5 players so, Cas and I are gonna tag team it while I’m cooking, who else is in?”

“Me!” Tina said excitedly, her hand thrusting up into the air eagerly.

Jesse and Cesar laughed, Cesar ruffling her hair. “Of course, sweetling. We wouldn’t dream of playing without you.”

While movies played in the background, they played Cartagena, Carcassonne, Settlers of Catan and several other games where it wouldn’t matter if Tina could read or not – such as a cooperative game like Forbidden Island or Castle Panic. All the while, the apartment filled with even more mouthwatering smells than the day before.

Even Meg and Balthazar joined in with the rest of them on occasion. Most games didn’t have the capability of holding all of them, so they all switched out or even ran a second game alongside the first. It kept everyone entertained and busy and Dean even forgot it was snowing until someone knocked on the apartment door.

Benny answered the door but everyone craned their head to see who it was. Everyone they expected was already here, and no one else would have gone out into this weather if they didn’t have to. So who could _possibly_ be at the door?

Dean edged out of the kitchen with a towel in his hands, just in time to see Benny opening the door. A lanky dirty blonde stood on the other side with a bottle in his hand. His eyes went wide and he licked his lips nervously as he stared at Benny.

“Um, hi, I’m Alfie. You don’t know me, but I live across the hall. I was thinking, my plans all got canceled cause of the weather today and I didn’t want to spend it alone and was hoping… I could come in? I, um… brought something to share?” he held up the bottle and within second Balthazar was between him and the door, ushering him inside.

“Ah, my good man, I’m Balthazar and anyone who brings booze to a party is a friend of mine.”

“Party?” he squeaked as Balthazar’s arm wound around his shoulders and led him out of the entryway. Benny rolled his eyes and followed. Dean watched their new guest’s eyes finally fell on everyone else as Balthazar drew him further in to the apartment and he flushed in embarrassment. “I’m – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“Nonsense,” Benny drawled from behind him. “None of us planned to be here except maybe Cas and Dean. You’re more than welcome to join us.”

Everyone nodded and murmured assent even as Balthazar managed to pry the bottle out of Alfie’s hands, turning it about to look at the label. He sniffed a bit before saying, “White Zinfandel? Your tastes are adorably childish, but it’ll do.”

Then skimmed right past Dean into the kitchen, heading straight for his little corner with all his alcohol, where even his tacky Santa dispenser was still on display. It had, somehow, become a bit of a fixture.

Poor Alfie didn’t look as if he knew whether to be insulted about his choice of wine or grateful that it had been accepted. Thankfully, Benny took pity on the guy and stepped in once more, this time to make introductions.

Dean stuck around in the kitchen entrance long enough for his, then ducked back inside to check the temperature on the Turducken once more. As he had feared, it was taking much longer than the internet had told him and his stomach was already rumbling greatly. But he thought it might be done around 5pm. Thank goodness he’d had the foresight to start it so early.

Balthazar brushed past him again, handing out the glasses of wine to anyone who wanted one and the next time Dean had a chance to poke his head out, Alfie had already been made comfortable and was listening intently to the rules of the next board game.

Dean stood there, staring out into the large room that served as both the living room and dining room with it’s 8 occupants and marveled at how only days ago, he’d been looking rather forlornly at the idea of a Thanksgiving with only him and Cas. While he never begrudged a moment he spent with Cas, and he cherished each moment they managed to get some alone time, a holiday had felt like something that deserved to bring people together, not watching them float apart.

It was amazing how a series of weird and coincidental incidents could bring him the exact thing he was hoping for.

Family.

Yeah, that’s what this was.

Family. the sort he never quite had when he was growing up. The sort that he and Sam fought for with each tradition they tried to start on their own. Going off to college had, for both of them, been very wrenching. Leaving their only family behind for better pastures, but Dean realized now that… he’d _found_ a family.

And if his conversations with Sam wasn’t misleading him, Sam had too. Despite their childhood, despite their dad and everything, Dean and Sam had done it. They’d found family and they were building their own traditions.

And some day, maybe they could bring their two families together and combine those traditions.

The warm feelings that thought engendered carried him through the rest of the night. Most of his experiments came out just fine and a few even came out perfect – he might have groaned over the sausage stuffing enough times that Cas was giving him both a hungry and disapproving look at the same time (seriously, how was that possible?).

Alfie somehow fit in almost seamlessly, him and Benny getting along particularly well. Balthazar and Meg behaved themselves, and managed to keep the drinking down to a minimum – for them, anyway.

Before Dean knew it, he was stuffed to the gills and curled up with Cas on the couch while a movie played. Tina was still trying to beguile anyone she could into playing a game. Benny and Alfie had disappeared to Benny’s room to go through his music collection. And Dean even believed that since the door was still wide open… but Balthazar still gave Benny crap about it and poor Alfie had blushed

Until Meg had dragged Balthazar off to their _own_ room… and the door had firmly shut behind _them._

Balthazar and Meg. Dean still couldn’t get over that. Them. A serious item. Meg protested it was for appearances, but he wasn’t so sure about that. Still, if anyone could keep up with Meg’s snark, it was Balthazar, and vice versa so, maybe it would work out.

The couch dipped and Dean opened his eyes – when had they slipped shut? – to find Cesar on the other end, looking at him seriously.

“Dean, Cas, I want to thank you – _we_ want to thank you – for today. For opening your home to us the way you have, and for all the hard work you’ve done over the past few days to get ready for today. I know the crowd you had was unexpected and you really rose to the occasion. Jesse and I are really grateful for everything.”

“Hey man, it’s no problem,” Dean said, smiling. “I was happy to do it. And, honestly, I was happy to have so many of my friends be here. It was just gonna be me and Cas when we’d hoped to have a big dinner and… somehow, we got that anyway. I’m just sorry everyone else’s plans got ruined. I’m sorry none of you guys made it back home to be with your families.”

“Hmm…” Cesar looked at him thoughtfully, a strange little smile on his face. “I think we did.” He patted Dean’s knee, then stood up, crossing the room to rejoin his husband and daughter.

Castiel pulled him closer on the couch. “You did good, Dean.”

Dean smiled goofily, whispering, “Thanks, Cas.”

They closed in for a kiss, soft and chaste before settling back in each other’s arms to just bask in the atmosphere of the night. The sounds of the TV, of Tina’s childlike glee, of Cesar’s deep rumble of a laugh and Jesse’s amused snort. Music from Benny’s room slipped in, barely heard through the vent above the TV.

All in all… the best Thanksgiving holiday that Dean could ever remember, despite how last minute and unconventional it was. They’d had no décor, and only the bare minimum of standard Thanksgiving foods. There’d been no Macy’s day parade (Dean had always thought those were boring anyway) or football games.

But they’d had a good time, with good food and good friends.

With family.

That’s all that he could really ever ask for, and to have gotten it? _That’s_ what Dean was grateful for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only one more chapter after this one is planned!
> 
> Also, 1 - those are real games. and they're a ton of fun  
> 2 - there are 3 things in this story that are based on some real stuff... altered for the story as needed of course. you can pick which things.


	8. You Are Cordially Invited...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At long last, it was happening. Was Dean dreaming?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The end. The VERY VERY end of this accidental year long project. I hope you all enjoy it!

“Hold… still, Dean,” Sammy said exasperatedly.

“I  _ am  _ holding still.” Dean protested.

“No, you’re not, you’re fidgeting,” Sam said absently. His fingers moved deftly over the deep green bowtie around Dean’s neck before finally he gave it one last tug, nodded at it firmly and patted Dean’s shoulder. “There you go.  _ Now  _ you’re all presentable for Cas.”

“Thanks man,” Dean said with a relieved sigh. “I was beginning to think I was going to strangle myself with this thing.”

“Yeah, not an auspicious beginning to your married life,” Sam agreed.

“I still can’t believe I’m here, Sammy,” Dean said softly. “I can’t believe that… me and Cas… Ow!”  Rubbing at his arm, Dean glared at his brother. “What the fuck was that for?”

“To assure you this isn’t a dream. Dude, this has been a long time coming and we’ve all been waiting for this since  _ before  _ you two got your heads out of your asses,” Sam said.

“Eloquent. Is that what your speech is gonna sound like?”

“Nah, I’m gonna be even sappier.”

“Shit, I wonder if it’s too late to ask Benny to be my Best Man?” Dean groused.

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@ . . . . .  @*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

_ That first Christmas after they’d started dating there had been no question of what they were going to do. Except for Cas and Dean, the rest of the apartment went their merry ways like they had the year before, but not before they’d cleared out a corner of the living room for Cas to set up his dress dummy. _

_ Dean had smirked as that year, he and Cas had decorated it together, adding the very few baubles Dean had from his own childhood, making it, finally, their tree. _

_ Even though a year had passed, Dean hadn’t been able to believe it was real, and as each day brought them closer to Christmas, Dean’s heart had sped up while he planned for their first anniversary. _

_ He had discarded a million and one ideas and had finally settled on the one millionth and two. _

_ Bundling them up together, Dean had driven them back the ice-skating rink they’d had their first kiss in. He hadn’t told Cas a thing, but the second they’d turned into the lot, Cas’s eyes had lit up, and he’d turned to Dean with the brightest of smiles. _

_ All thoughts that he’d been overly cheesy had gone out the window in that moment. _

_ And then they’d fogged up the window. _

_ Win win. _

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@Wedding Day@*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

Cas stared into the mirror, his twin standing beside him with an arm slung around his shoulders.

“Married, huh?” Jimmy chuckled. “It must burn mom’s butt that she isn’t even invited.”

“Serves her right,” Gabriel chirped from behind them. In the mirror, Cas could see he was sprawled over the chaise lounge in the dressing room they occupied.

“Gabriel, you’re going to wrinkle your suit,” Cas said, turning to him anxiously.

“Don’t worry about me. Everyone’s gonna be looking at you and Dean. Promise. This day is going to go  _ perfectly!”  _ Gabriel beamed at him, but he did, at least, sit up and tug his suit jacket back in place, smoothing out the wrinkles.

Nervously, Cas echoed Gabriel’s movement. Sweeping down the white coat of his tux, over the deep blue cummerbund and down the front of the white pants before Jimmy caught his hands and stopped them.

“You look  _ fine _ , Cas. Stop worrying,” Jimmy looked at him, his eyes beaming at him. “I know it’s your thing… and Dean’s too, but trust us. Everything is going to be all right. Maybe it won’t go perfectly, or without a hitch but… life’s like that. But you and Dean will pull through it together. We’ve got faith in you. You got a roomful of people out there who  _ all  _ have faith in you.”

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@ . . . . .  @*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

_ Their second and third Christmas’s had been a little difficult. _

_ In the case of the second, it hadn’t been because of anything either of them had done, but because Cas’s mother had reached out, asking for a reconciliation. _

_ Of course, that had quickly turned into a reconciliation with stipulations, showing her true colors straight off. _

_ Their first calls as December had started, had been tentative. There’d been no true apology from Naomi, but she was talking with Cas after having cut him out completely. He’d figured that was progress. Then the plane ticket had arrived in the mail and that’s when things had taken a turn for the worse. _

_ Because it was only one ticket. _

_ Cas had told her he already had plans, with Dean specifically, and that he wasn’t willing to drop those plans last minute unless Dean could come with him. She’d had a meltdown. She’d screamed over the phone about him choosing sin over family and that was that. _

_ He’d been livid. _

_ Quietly, but firmly livid. Dean’s eyes had widened in awe and adoration as Cas explained that if she saw his relationship as a sin, then she’d never wanted a reconciliation to begin with and if it was a choice between family, well then. _

_ He knew who his family was, and it wasn’t the mother who’d refused to have anything to do with him because of who he loved. If she couldn’t be happy that he was happy, than he had nothing more to say to her. _

_ The following year had been her sporadically but insistently trying to reach out to him and to get him to renounce his ‘lifestyle choices’. _

_ As if being gay was a choice. _

_ She’d even tried to coerce Dean into breaking up with Cas for his own sake. First by offering him money, then by throwing Dean under bus and telling him how he didn’t deserve Castiel. _

_ Inadvertently, she’d thrown a pall over their third Christmas too. Cas had been tired out from her dogged persistence and her inability to accept his sexuality or his boyfriend, and he’d grown withdrawn. _

_ It had scared Dean and had convinced him that Cas was getting tired of him. In an effort to rekindle their romance, Dean had tried pulling out all the stops – only everything seemed to just go wrong. And every step back had seemed to make Dean believe Naomi’s words of his worthlessness more than he should have. _

_ By Christmas morning, neither of them were in good moods, and Dean was ready to pack it in and move back out into the living room, certain that Cas wanted nothing more to do with him. _

_ That’s when everything came to a head. _

_ Cas had woken up alone on Christmas morning, the bed beside him colder than it should have been. There’d been no coffee brewing, no bacon sizzling, and he’d found Dean slumped on the floor of the kitchen, his head in his hands. _

_ It had taken a long time to convince Dean that Cas still loved him. Much, much too long, even with Dean’s insecurities and bouts of low self-worth. _

_ That had been the wakeup call Cas had needed to get help in handling the Naomi situation. _

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@Wedding Day@*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

“You know, loves, it’s bad luck to see each other before the wedding,” Balthazar’s voice came over Dean’s phone, still sarcastic despite the miles between them all.

“We’re not even in the same room, Bal,” Cas’s voice was next. Their video for Skype was limited to head and shoulders so Dean couldn’t see his fiancé’s outfit which was probably for the best. He wanted to wait to see that at the proper moment. He glanced at his watch. It was almost time.

“Besides, it’s not like we’ve ever done things the traditional way,” Dean pointed out.

Balthazar shrugged. “Well, in any case, I just wanted to say again how sorry I am that I couldn’t be there today and congratulations to both of you. Took you long enough!”

“Hey, we get there when we get there. How about you and Meg, eh?” Dean poked with a grin.

“Shh…” Balthazar held a finger up in front of his lips. “Mums the word but when I get back next month…” he trailed off, holding up a small box and Dean chuckled.

“That’s fantastic,” Cas said, joy lighting up his face.

“Well, she was bound to wear me down eventually,” Balthazar groused, but he was smiling as well. Strange as it had seemed, Meg and Balthazar really, really worked, and while they  _ both  _ pretended it wasn’t a big deal, it was.

Dean and Cas were just glad they were able to help their friends through this trial.

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@ . . . . .  @*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

_ Cas and Dean had finally bought a house – an honest to goodness house of their own. No sharing with an upstairs neighbor. A yard all to themselves. Extra rooms they had hardly known what to do with (no, that was a lie: two bedrooms and a guest room upstairs. The basement becoming a full-on library and work space for crafting. _

_ So of course the first thing they had done after it was even halfway presentable was to throw a housewarming party. _

_ Everything had seemed to be going well, until they had found Meg sitting on the back porch in the cold, sniffling. Balthazar had been looking for her frantically, two drinks in his hand, but Meg not where he’d left her. He’d tried to be nonchalant about it all, but Cas had seen that he was very upset. _

_ Something must have happened between them. _

_ Cas had then found her there and managed to pry out of her what was wrong, despite her assertions that nothing was wrong. Finally, she’d broken and confessed that Balthazar was leaving. A spike of horror had raced through Cas at the thought. He’d gotten used to Meg and Balthazar’s odd, on again off again relationship. They’d been a staple in Dean and Cas’s lives for such a long time, Cas hadn’t been sure what he would do if they’d split and here she was talking about just that. _

_ Balthazar had found them then and he’d knelt before Meg – heedless of the snow on the porch and how it had soaked through his designer clothes – to apologize for everything. His job was sending him abroad  for a year and it was an opportunity he couldn’t pass up. It meant everything to his career. He then begged her to come with him and that’s when Cas had slipped away. _

_ In the end, Meg hadn’t gone. She had her own career to tend to as well, but Cas and Dean had supported her and Balthazar through their time apart, Meg crashing in their guest room whenever the distance had became too much. _

_ It was the least they could do for family. _

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@Wedding Day@*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

The wedding hall was decked out in white with blue and green accents, a theme that would be repeated in the wedding party as well. Cas and Dean both waited in the wings in their white tuxes with the splashes of color – green for Dean, blue for Cas – as the music started.

Their best men stood alone at the altar, flanking Missouri, and their guests had turned to watch the first of the wedding party walking down the aisle.

Benny wore a black tuxedo with the same green bowtie and cummerbund as Dean, and he walked arm in arm with Meg who wore an elegant blue gown. Jesse snapped photos as they walked, everyone watching them split to join Sam and Jimmy.

From their vantage point, both Dean and Cas could see Sam watching proudly as Eileen came next, wearing a long, deep green dress that matched the bowtie and cummerbund for Dean’s side, with Gabriel guiding her down the aisle in surprising solemnity – for him, anyway. His grin was as wide as ever, peeking out from under his neatly combed hair that was held back by a hair clip styled to match his blue bowtie. They walked confidently down the aisle, Gabriel pausing them both before they also split so they could pose for Jesse.

The gathered guests laughed even as Cas rolled his eyes and Dean snorted. The two of them caught each other’s gazes fondly while they waited in the wings just off where the wedding party was gathering.

One would think by the way Sam was beaming that it was his and Eileen’s wedding.

Eileen was most definitely one of the best things that had ever happened to Sam.

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@ . . . . .  @*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

_ Their 6 _ _ th _ _ year anniversary had been the first that they hadn’t spent alone but there’d been no way Cas could have asked Dean to say no to his brother. Sam had had a very difficult year recovering from an addiction that had almost cost him everything. Only the timely intervention of a friend of his, Eileen, had saved Sam from going further down a path that could have absolutely ruined him. _

_ Maybe even killed him. _

_ Sam had lost Jess a few years earlier to a freak fire and he’d been drifting ever since then. At first, hearing Sam had a new girlfriend had given both Dean and Cas relief, and then they’d met her. _

_ Dean had known Ruby was bad news the second they’d met but had given her a chance anyways. He blamed himself for the spiral Sam went down. Cas had tried to reassure him that it hadn’t been his fault and that Dean couldn’t control Sam’s life any more than Sam controlled Dean’s, or Gabriel’s Cas’s and vice versa. _

_ It had been hard to accept, and so when Sam had asked if he could come ‘home’ for Christmas that year, Dean hadn’t hesitated any further than to look at Cas. The phone had been on speaker and Cas had swiftly nodded. _

_ It had all happened so quickly, that Sam hadn’t even noticed the pause. _

_ The effusive thanks had been a little embarrassing but Dean had handled it graciously. Before they’d hung up, Dean had suggested that Sam could bring someone with him, maybe, say, Eileen. Dean had wanted to thank her in person, and also, he and Cas both believed from the way Sam had been talking about her that Eileen was special to him. _

_ Dean figured she had to be, to be able to reach him the way she had. _

_ It was at that point that the phone had gone silent and Dean had panicked. Cas had crowded closer, taking Dean in his arms to soothe him while they waited. After a moment, Dean and Cas could hear the shaky, indrawn breath, the choked back tears in Sam’s voice, when he had finally spoke, accepting their offer. _

_ If either Cas or Dean had worried that having Sam and a stranger there would put a damper on their own celebrations, they’d been wrong. Dean had flourished in being able to take care of his brother, embarrass him as an older brother ought to when they brought a girlfriend home (even though they weren’t actually dating yet), and still managed to find time alone for him and Cas to have their own, private celebrations. _

_ It probably helped that Sam, grateful to his brother’s generosity, had made sure to give them that space, Eileen easily going along with him. _

_ By the end of the holidays, Eileen had the Winchester (and Novak) Seal of Approval, and her and Sam had been made official. _

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@Wedding Day@*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

Charlie and Cesar came next, both of them wearing black tuxes, differentiated only by the blue and green color that declared them on one grooms’ side and the other.

Cas and Dean had discussed at length who would be in their wedding party – they’d wanted something small, which hadn’t quite worked out in that regard (there were literally 10 people in their wedding party!) – and what order they would be in.

Each person in their party held a special meaning to both Dean and Cas and it had been hard to ‘prioritize’ who was more important because they  _ all  _ were.

In the end, they’d settled on Charlie and Cesar.

Charlie had always been fairly close to Dean and was instrumental in him coming to terms with being bi and had always been there in support of the two of them. Cesar, on the other hand, and his entire family, had practically  _ become  _ Dean and Cas’s second family with all the things they did together, all the times they’d pitched in for each other when things got rough.

Jesse and Cesar especially had helped both of them through a bunch of rough patches.

They’d both wanted to honor that, because neither of them thought they would have been as strong together today if it hadn’t been for the Cuevas quiet and sturdy support.

 

 **\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@ . . . . .  @*******@*******@****** @--}--**  

 

_ Their fifth anniversary almost hadn’t happened. _

_ They’d argued and it had been bad. In the end, Cas had yelled that he needed space – and Dean had immediately clammed up. They’d argued for nearly 2 months leading up to Christmas, about nearly everything, it suddenly seemed, until one day, Cas had come home from work to find Dean gone, and so was his stuff. _

_ He’d been devastated – it really hadn’t been pretty - until he realized Dean had left some things behind. That had given Cas hope that Dean planned to come back, but still, Dean had left. _

_ Dean had left  _ **_him._ **

_ Thankfully, Benny had told him where Dean had gone, since Dean hadn’t seen fit to leave even a note or a text. Dean had decided to stay at Jesse and Cesar’s place for a few days, to give Cas the space he wanted. _

_ Of all the stupid things to fight about, it had been about moving out. _

_ Ironically, it had been Dean who didn’t want to leave, and yet it had been Dean who left. _

_ Cas had been trying to talk Dean into moving. The apartment was starting to feel claustrophobic to him and he wished to stretch a bit outside of their shared room but sharing with 3 other people besides Dean and himself had made that hard. _

_ But Dean hadn’t wanted to leave his friends. _

_ Finally, Cas had told Dean he’d be moving – with or without Dean. Dean had gone pale at the thought of Cas leaving and when he’d demanded why – well, that was when Cas had yelled about space. Dean had, of course, taken it in a way that Cas hadn’t meant it, which had led to all the other arguments about petty shit until Dean was gone. _

_ Cas was just glad that when Dean left, he hadn’t gone far, and that he was someplace safe. And Cesar and Jesse had been instrumental in getting Cas and Dean to sit down and talk it all out, pointing out where each of them had gone wrong, but why each of them were also right. _

_ It wouldn’t be the last time the Cuevas would help hold Dean and Cas together. Just as Dean and Cas did the same in return. _

_ With their help, Dean and Cas had reconciled just before their anniversary and they spent it in each other’s arms, holding on to each other desperately, both of them tentative, and so damn afraid that this would fall apart on them _

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@Wedding Day@*******@*******@****** @--}--**

5 years later and it hadn’t.

Here they were, watching as Jesse and Cesar’s nearly grown daughter Tina, clad in a dress mixed with blue and green floral print, guided five-year-old Jack down the aisle. He held a small, plush cushion with rings on it, while she carried a basket full of flowers. She was, technically, too old for this at 16 years, but she’d insisted.

So had Jack. Jack, sweet as he was, had only really opened up to select people, latching on to a very small group as  _ his _ : Dean, Cas, Benny and Tina.

Letting them go down the aisle together had been a no brainer. As they watched, Cas and Dean’s hearts swelled, extremely glad they’d made that decision.

Jack clutched at one of Tina’s hands with one of his own, a broad, beaming smile spread over his face. His little suit was also a combination of Dean and Cas’s colors, the pillow the rings rested on was pure white. He looked about proudly, his steps faltering not the slightest.

Tina smiled down at him, tossing white flower petals ahead of them as they walked.

Jack gasped and slowed, giggling at the falling petals and let go of Tina’s hand.

“I wanna make it snow too!”

The guests all chuckled, Jesse’s camera going nonstop. Both Dean and Cas felt their hearts swell up happily and proudly as they watched the boy they’d taken in enjoying the day. Maybe another couple would have gotten mad that Jack wasn’t keeping to the schedule, or that he was trying to take over Tina’s task, but it was a good bit of innocent, cute fun, and it hurt no one to let Jack indulge.

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@ . . . . .  @*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

_ It had surprised everyone when Jack came into their lives. Jack was Cas’s nephew, and when his father had been murdered, his mother already long gone, Cas had been the only one to step up to take the toddler. Everyone else in his family had wanted nothing to do with Jack, afraid the child would be tainted and cut from the same mold. _

_ It had fallen to Gabriel, Jimmy and Cas. Jimmy and Amelia already had their hands full with Claire, who’d been born with complications of her own. Gabriel didn’t believe he’d be much better of a father than Luke was, though he’d tentatively put out that if no one else took Jack in, he would. _

_ Then he’d looked at Cas with puppy dog eyes that would put Dean’s brother to shame. _

_ It had worked, though Cas had talked to Dean extensively first to make sure that he’d be okay with bringing in a child from essentially a broken home. Sure, Cas and Dean had talked about children before, but they’d never planned on having any now, or to have kids from such ‘dubious history’. Who knew what Luke had taught the child? _

_ To Cas’s great relief, Dean had been all for it, and as soon as they’d met the 3-year-old, the two of them had both been charmed. Somehow, despite all odds, the boy had been so sweet and pure, that neither they nor their friends could help but fall in love with him. _

_ Neither of them regretted Jack for an instant. _

_ Naomi had, of course, fought it, as soon as she realized it was Cas taking him in, but Sam, recently graduated from law school, had asked a favor at his new firm. Cain had taken the case and – with the information Cas and the rest of the family provided – locked Naomi out of Jack's life forever. _

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@Wedding Day@*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

There was a pause and the music changed, everyone standing. Missouri directed their attentions to the doors on either side of her, near the front of the room and the guests turned back to look the right way.

Dean and Cas had discussed a great many things at length, for their wedding. Some things they felt, didn’t matter all that much, while others had mattered quite a bit. Neither had wanted to be waiting while the other walked.  They’d wanted to meet on equal ground, starting off their marriage right.

So now, as the music swelled, they both stepped out of the wings at the same time, walking toward each other, toward their future, together.

They met in front of Missouri who’d wholeheartedly agreed to preside over their vows.

Though she’d smacked the back of both of their heads when they’d suggested the speech from the Princess Bride.

Dean and Cas reached out to grasp each other’s hands at nearly the same time, turning to face Missouri as their guests sat down behind them, Dean’s thumb rubbing over the engagement ring Cas wore.

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@ . . . . .  @*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

_ It had been Cas that had gotten them to pick up stakes and rent out the bottom half of a house there in town, but it had been Dean that had taken their domesticity up one step further. _

_ And he’d waited till their second Christmas in their new place to do it. _

_ Now that they had their own space, they’d really gone out of their way to decorate it as they wished, not needing to worry about their roommates, as much as they loved them. Though they had the room, now, to have a proper Christmas tree, the dress dummy still had pride and place of the home as their Christmas tree. _

_ The move had been rough, initially, but Dean had really settled in there, Cas had been relieved to see, and Dean had even apologized for doubting the rightness of the move. Cas had beamed, certain he couldn’t be happier. _

_ Then Dean had taken him back to the ice rink. _

_ Honestly, they’d  _ **_been_ ** _ going a lot, over the years, so that hadn’t been all that much of a surprise. Cas had been slowly teaching Dean how to skate until Dean had gotten just as good as Cas was. They occasionally brought their other friends with them, but Christmas Eve was always theirs, just theirs. _

_ Still, Cas had blinked in confusion when he realized the rink was completely empty. But all had been made clear soon. While they skated, the music changed to something softer, Dean had drawn Cas to the center of the rink and then, with a flourish that would have floored Dean 7 years ago, Dean got down on one knee, looked straight up at Cas and held out a box with silver band decorated with engraved mistletoe, tiny diamond chips for the berries. _

_ Cas had gasped, but – tears in his eyes – immediately said yes. _

_ There really was no other answer. _

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@Wedding Day@*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

The first thing they did was a candle ceremony. Though they hadn’t had anyone walking them down the aisle to ‘give them away’, Dean and Cas had most definitely wanted to involve the parental figures in their lives.

Chuck came forward first, nervously tugging at his suit jacket, Bobby stepping in line beside him, looking odd without his worn trucker cap.

Together, they lit the short candles sitting on either side of a third, longer one. Bobby lit the green one, and after some fumbling, Chuck managed to light the blue one. They stepped back, allowing Cas and Dean to pick up the newly lit candles and together, they lit the central one - a white candle with swirls of blue and green – the entire thing intended to signify their births _ and _ their union, all while Bobby and Chuck watched proudly.

John had long since been out of the picture.

Even if he and Dean had ever managed to patch up their relationship, the point was moot as he’d wrapped himself around a tree only a few weeks before their fourth anniversary.

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@ . . . . .  @*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

_ It had been a hard few weeks on Dean. Cas couldn’t imagine losing his dad or even his mother so permanently. After all, despite everything with his mom, Cas knew she was alive and well. And every minute she was alive, there was hope that she might turn over a new leaf. _

_ Dean had lost that hope. _

_ He was also torn. Relieved that John was gone, guilty for feeling relieved, and mourning because - whatever else had gone on – John was still Dean’s dad. _

_ And losing his dad hurt. _

_ And that had cast a pall over the following weeks and months as Dean mourned. The weeks immediately after John’s death had been filled with traveling and funeral arrangements and sorting out his things. Sam had joined them, of course, with Ruby there to support him. _

_ It had been the only time Dean or Cas had found it within themselves to like her because, despite their disapproval of her, they’d been (grudgingly) forced to admit that she had been there for Sam during a troubling time. _

_ It had seemed to take forever to finalize and close out all of John’s affairs. _

_ In the end, they’d wound up spending Christmas and their fourth anniversary at Bobby’s house. Cas hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting the gruff old man before, as he rarely traveled and Dean had avoiding coming home because of John, but Bobby’s hospitality had been more than welcome. _

_ In those moments, Cas had seen why Dean had always spoken so fondly of his uncle. He’d realized then that Bobby had been more of a father to Dean than John had ever been, and before they’d left to go back home, Cas had approached the man to thank him for everything. _

_ Bobby had been surprised and he’d brushed it off in his usual, gruff manner that Cas had gotten used to over the past few weeks, but he’d also seen the wet twinkle in the older man’s eyes and he was glad he’d said something before they left. _

 

**\----{--@ ******@*****@*******@Wedding Day@*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

Missouri smiled down at Cas and Dean, the guests quieting down further as Chuck and Bobby went back to their seats. She led them through their vows and their nervousness fell away, as did all the sight and sound of everyone other than themselves.

Cas turned to face Dean, his eyes crinkled up at the corners and a smile he couldn’t hold back if he wanted to adorning his face as he grasped both of Dean’s hands in his and felt Dean’s fingers curling around his own in return.

They were here.

Together.

“We’ve been through good times, we’ve been through bad. We’ve seen each other at our worst, our best, our stupidest and our silliest. We’ve loved and supported each other the whole way, and we’ve made this work. Today I pledge that I will always do my part to make us work. Your selflessness and compassion has always inspired me to be better than I am and I’ve loved you since before I knew there was any hope, and I’ll never stop loving you,” Cas said, his words clear and strong but filled with the sort of sappy love that always made Dean Winchester blush.

Sort of like how he was doing now.

Dean took a deep breath and Cas squeezed his hands. Dean had always hated public speaking but it had done the trick. Dean only had eyes for him – which was fair, since Cas only had eyes for Dean.

“Cas, you’ve seen me at my lowest – and I mean pretty damn low – and you never gave up on me. You’ve helped me find my highest, even when I didn’t feel I deserved it. There are days I still don’t believe I deserve you. But that’s the kind of person you are – you always see the best in people. I also pledge that I will always be there for you, just as you have been for me. I loved you before I even understood I  _ could  _ like guys, and I’m never gonna stop,” Dean said.

The entire thing was short, and sweet, the guests sniffling or going “aww” at their homemade, simple, but heartfelt vows.

One after the other, they turned to Jack who proudly held up the cushion for them. Dean knelt down and hugged Jack before taking the ring meant for Cas and slipping it on his fiance’s finger. In turn, Cas followed suit, hugging Jack and leaving a peck on his cheek as he whispered, “Good job.”

Taking the ring meant for Dean, he stood back up and slipped it onto Dean’s finger, Missouri beaming at them the whole while.

“I pronounce you husbands. Now you may –“

Dean lunged forward to capture Cas’s lips, his hands coming up to cradle Cas’s face. Cas met him halfway, mirroring Dean even as their guests laughed at their impatience.

“-kiss,” Missouri sighed, rolling her eyes indulgently at the newly married couple, a smile tugging at her lips.

Difficult as it was, Cas and Dean kept the kiss gentle and as PG as they could – they could save the steamy stuff for later – and pulled back to simply stare in each other’s eyes.

“God, we did it,” Dean said, breathlessly. He leaned forward till their foreheads touched. “We’re married Cas.”

“We are,” Cas answered him with a chuckle. His hand caressed Dean’s jaw briefly before tugging on their pants caused them to turn and look down at Jack. His arms were raised upward and Dean laughed, swooping down to pick him up and cuddle both his ‘son’ and his husband.

They’d be able to make Jack officially his, now. Cas had already adopted Jack as part of the process of taking him in, and Jack already called them both his father's. But now, now it would be official, and Dean could be his dad too.

The music started up again, and they turned, Jack between them as they walked down the aisle proper, the rest of the wedding party following after.

 

**\---{--@ ******@*****@*******@  Bonus scene @*******@*******@****** @--}--**

 

“I still can’t believe they’re holding the reception in an Ice Skating Rink,” Bobby groused. “If they think I’m gonna strap on a pair of knives and do my worst impression of Scott Hamilton, then they got another thing coming.”

Turned out, all it took was Jack calling him grandpa to get Bobby to do  _ exactly _ that.

Cas and Dean were just happy that everyone seemed to be enjoying the unconventional festivities and that Jesse was capturing as much of their special day as he could, h is assistant, Alfie (and  _ Benny’s _ husband!) running along behind him to help.

They knew that life would toss them a lot of lemons and curveballs as they went, but they were confident they could weather it all together. And when they needed it, Cas and Dean both knew they could count on their family – both blood and not blood – to step up to the plate.

And they would do the same in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I couldn't decide if i should make it their 1 year anniversary or do a time jump forward so there could be a proposal. I didn't want to do a proposal after only one year. I was still trying to figure it out when Dmsilvis suggested BOTH which sparked another idea aaaaaaaand..... thats how this was born. It's a bit different then the rest of the fic, and i was worried that the multiple flashbacks might be annoying/confusing but she assured me they totally worked so *crossing my fingers* I hope you all liked it too!
> 
> Thanks again Dmsilvis for the read through of the last chapter and thank you ALL for reading along!
> 
>  
> 
> Rebloggable Tumblr Post for this chapter[here](https://pherryt.tumblr.com/post/181304137961/pherryt-you-are-cordially-invited-to-the)

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to put this up ON Christmas, but I think I burned myself out when writing it. I couldn't think straight and when I finally finished, I didn't feel like it was any good at all, but a re-read yielded nothing I could fix.
> 
> finally, i decided i needed a second pair of eyes but being that it was christmas evening, i knew that wouldn't be happening. thankfully, braezenkitty - as i mentioned before - came to my rescue and when she finished it, she assured me it was perfectly fine (other than some small punctuation issues) and that it wasn't clunky at all.
> 
> So I hope you all enjoyed it! Sorry it's late!


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